Note: Make sure to read until the end to catch an important tweak to last week’s Cottage Cheese Blueberry Bake.

This week’s post is a confession – or, more accurately – a sharing of a recent revelation.

In the final editing process for the content in my next book, Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions, I am making sure to mention, those who are short-term caregivers might experience the same mindsets and emotions experienced by those who are long-term caregivers.

Hah! Little did I know I was going to be a short-term caregiver, who would experience some of those same things.

My sweetheart just had hip replacement surgery. We’re looking at a six-to-eight-week standard recovery for general mobility issues.

Meh. No big deal, right?

Caring for someone with post-op pain concerns, decreased mobility, and who uses a walker along with other adaptive equipment is not the biggest hurdle ever for me.

I found, however, that my role as the primary caregiver, helping with activities of daily living, (such as bathing, dressing, and bathroom needs) – along with managing a variety of new temporary medications – quickly put me at risk of falling into a mindset of self-neglect.

Granted, there are no raging, random caregiver emotions here. The first two to three days post-op were hard on both of us – it’s a shared experience – but as I observed myself, it was easy to see self-neglect wiggle its tenacles into my day.

As we both experienced for the first time all the hip replacement concerns – the ice pack apparatus, careful spacing of pain meds, frequent transfer concerns with bed/chair, home exercises, movement restrictions, and dealing with the side effects of medications – we were both frequently exhausted.

Then it happened.

“My sweetheart is all set now; I’m just going to rest – I can skip my shower and my daily vitamins.”

In those first two days, I think such a mindset is normal. The importance of caregiving being a priority is evident as our kitchen island has been taken over by medical paperwork, and a row of short-term medications serves as a reminder to administer them on time.

But, dear caregivers, going beyond that initial adjustment period with self-neglect is not healthy.

Remember, there are two patients in any caregiving situation – the person giving the care and the person receiving the care. Ignore the needs of the first one and the needs of the second one might not get met because the first one may have collapsed!

If your adjustment period is not getting better – as ours did, thankfully – then it’s time to call in for help. Use those offers of assistance to free up time for your daily selfcare.

Next week, I’ll be sharing another breakfast casserole recipe that was easy to prepare in advance and gave us a fresh-from-the-oven treat this morning – no big clean up – and a promise of another easy meal the next day.

Speaking of recipes – as I prepared that Cottage Cheese Blueberry Bake again this week, I paused after stirring the ingredients a final time. Hmmm. Wasn’t there oatmeal in the version I baked the first time? Friends, caregiver brain is a real thing. Yes – please add one cup of uncooked oatmeal to that recipe. Apologies for any inconvenience or recipe “flops.” Sheree is reposting the downloadable corrected recipe below.

In health and healing –

Deidre

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