Partay! 

What celebrations were delayed for you during the COVID ‘pause’ to normal life these last two years? One thing a lot of us experienced was missed birthday celebrations.  

Some of us can add attending weddings – or even having weddings – celebrations for births, retirements, graduations, or gatherings for memorial services.  

As you read this, my daughter and I will be celebrating our mutually shared birthday – August 2^nd – for the first time in years. The milestone birthdays we each experienced during the heights of the pandemic came and went without much hoopla.  

But this year … This year – we are together, not just in the spirit, but in the flesh at her beautiful home in Hawaii!   

The glory of the breath-taking sights of sunsets, tropical flowers, and the enrapturing sounds of the native birds playing out in the background will all pale, when compared to the sheer joy of just being together on our day. 

Many people select special non-profit organizations to ask their birthday well-wishers to support. I am choosing to share a link to a good book just released by an author friend of mine I met in Self-Publishing School. 

If you know someone between 12 – 18 years of age or over who enjoys fantasy novels, Shaun Griffiths’ Changing Times Series would be a terrific present. 

I had read and reviewed the first book in this series, Shifters Alliance, and had somehow missed the next two – Lost Lands and Shifters Stand – but each book is free-standing in nature, so his current title, Dragon Lands, is easy to follow even though I was not current with the intervening story line.  

Griffiths’ stories are vibrant, complex, yet easy to follow – with richly painted descriptions that play out in the reader’s mind with cinematic clarity.   

I may have ‘aged out’ of this, personally unfamiliar, fantasy drama genre; but I have thoroughly enjoyed reading Shaun Griffith’s titles and plan on giving his Changing Times Series to my grandchildren – especially since I am secure in knowing it’s Grandma-approved.   

So, there will be some family celebrating going on in Kona, Hawaii today. My request is for you to check out Shaun Griffiths’ books by using the links provided in this article.  

You know we do not hound our readers with endless sales pitches, but readers who use links we provide for the select items we talk about that are available on Amazon, help in the support of keeping foodtalk4you.com online.  

Thanks, and best wishes to all in health – 

Deidre 

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On the day this post is published, the ties to my family home of forty-some years will have been severed – except those in our family’s hearts and minds. The memories do not need a physical address – they will be ever strong. 

From all the decisions that went into deciding to move, with all the angst in taking each step that led to today – it’s been an eye-opening, life-changing, love-affirming, exhausting, and soul-challenging process. 

Every corner of a family home has stories to tell. 

First steps. Squeals of laughter. Tears. 

Adventures in blanketed, indoor forts to explorations of vistas unknown in the backyard woods. Hide and seek at night. Lightning bugs.

Saw teeth marks between the brick steps made by a future carpenter. Scraped knuckles made on the side house wall, because the sidewalk was too narrow for Hot Wheels. Rides around the yard with Dad on the lawn mower. 

Two generations of children practicing their cooking skills in the kitchen. Biscuits-on-a-stick. Cookouts. Roller skating in the new garage until it got filled up.

Learning how to use tools, make things, repair things, and take care of things.

Music. Lots of music. Piano, trumpet, French horn, marimba, harp, and singing.

Empty nest.

The sweet anticipation of children returning home for visits. College. Careers. 

Cups of coffee taken on the back porch swing – lots of that.

Mostly love. 

Sometimes flawed love. 

Forgiving love. 

Old love and new love. 

Holding on and letting go.

Thank you, house. 

You were built in love. We watched you grow, too. Every corner, crevasse, crack, squeak – Oh, we know you well. 

With love I let you go, so someone new can build their memories here.

Perhaps there will be music, adventure, great family meals, and cups of coffee taken on the back porch swing. 

But mostly … love.

GOODNIGHT MOON by Eric Whitacre – Sung by Hila Plitmann

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlusMNfteY0

In health –

Deidre

GOODNIGHT MOON LYRICS

In the great green room

There was a telephone

And a red balloon

And a picture of –

The cow jumping over the moon

And there were three little bears sitting on chairs

And two little kittens

And a pair of mittens

And a little toy house

And a young mouse

And a comb and a brush, and a bowl full of mush

And a quiet old lady who was whispering, “hush”

Goodnight moon

Goodnight room

Goodnight cow jumping over the moon

Goodnight light

And the red balloon

Goodnight bears

Goodnight chairs

Goodnight kittens

And goodnight mittens

Goodnight clocks

And goodnight socks

Goodnight little house

Goodnight mouse

Goodnight comb

And goodnight brush

Goodnight nobody

Goodnight mush

And goodnight to the old lady whispering, “hush”

Goodnight stars

Goodnight air

Goodnight noises everywhere

Goodnight

Goodnight

Goodnight noises everywhere

———————

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It gets busier before the completion of most projects. That final push to put the pieces all together, to control all the elements, to get what we desire. 

Then we rest, admiring our work.

Until we pop up to do something else.

What’s the rush?

Absorb your accomplishments; share them with friends and family to enjoy – and rest a spell together.

Am I getting philosophical again? You bet.

There has been another death of a friend who was way too young to just not wake up one morning. The circle of friends struggling with cancer is ever growing. And, I am spending my spare time downsizing and getting rid of STUFF. 

The realization that I have NO spare time on earth, and I will not be taking the STUFF with me, ultimately, is now pressing anew on my mind. 

The only thing we keep is love – not stuff.

I am longing to be on serious vacation mode which will start with the completion of my big change of location and downsizing project. Going to love big, relax big, and travel big then.

But what if I never get there?

There are many options each day with many things requiring our attention. But friends, WE need attention; and that LOVE which will last forever needs to grow stronger as we reach out to others.

The time will come when our arms are empty of loved ones, but our hearts should be FULL of our mutual LOVE. 

Love never dies, but its shape and form changes over time and dimension.

May we not let this day pass without strengthening those love bonds – first, to ourselves and then to others. 

We are enough just the way we are – right now – love and acceptance of self comes first.

Hopefully we can feel the love ties of those gone before us as we turn to remembrances of their love and wisdom. Then we should build up the ties with those around us today.

So, of all the plates that we try to keep spinning each day, find the one labeled LOVE and keep that one spinning brightly.

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In health – 

Deidre

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Pre Covid, only the tech-savvy had a clue what Zoom was. Now, most people who are connected to the internet have attended Zoom meetings, at the very least, and many have learned to organize and host a meeting themselves.

Don’t worry – we are not hosting a Zoom meeting here at foodtalk4you. Whew!

What we’re going to explore today hails back to one of the original meanings of the word – specifically, changing focus between near and far views.

Did you know that the first use of zooming into a closeup was in a scene with Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life? Next time you watch that classic film, notice the scene when he is sitting at the bar, and nothing is making any sense. People do not recognize him; people he knows have turned out totally different than what he remembered.

At the height of his torment, the film makers do a slow, deliberate zoom into his face, capturing his confusion and self-doubt. It’s powerful stuff.

We have the same powers to zoom in on our thinking, capturing every detail of the present moment, or to zoom out, observing a broader scene with a wider perspective.

Researching resilience techniques for my next book, Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions and Building Resilience, led me to daily thoughts by Amit Sood, MD, in his Year of Healing resource at Resilient.

His post for Day 167, highlights the technique of what he calls ‘ZIZO’ – zooming in and zooming out as a coping technique for unpleasant circumstances.

He suggests that, if the present moment is challenging, zoom out to get a broader view – to think past the present, to a more pleasing time. By thinking about what good things you are going to be doing after present circumstances, you can endure the moment.

Conversely, if the long term view is challenging, zoom in to the present moment to concentrate on the details of now.

Dr. Sood says the goal is not to escape, but to dilute the unpleasant view we have, so we can be the best we can be and save our sanity. Zooming in and out helps us to leverage our ability to change the focus of our thoughts.

We are solely in control of our thoughts – with self-awareness and a little practice, we can recognize our response to situations and leverage our thinking patterns to cope with challenges.

When advising caregivers to find a small project they can control from start to finish, I am – in effect, suggesting they zoom in – away from the long term view of their caregiving circumstances that seem so out of their control.

Likewise, when the present caregiving task is seemingly unbearable, taking a few moments to hold thoughts of the future when the task is over – zooming out – will sustain them.

As a teacher facing topics yet to be covered before the end of school and students who have lost their interest in concentrating, I sustained my own restlessness by imaging sitting in the hot tub at the beach during our first summer vacation trip. A clear case of zooming out.

When broader circumstances begin to overwhelm, I often turn to baking a batch of gluten-free muffins, (Augmented with ground flax and chia seeds), to enjoy at home and to give away. Zooming in helps to set my mind straight.

So, where are you zooming?

Can you see how this technique has helped you in the past?

These very terms have also been used in business. The article in Harvard Business Review, focuses on different management styles that zoom out or zoom in.

Think visionaries who tire with the details of day-to-day vs. people who never rise above the details of today to respond to trends that will affect their future.

Exclusively being one way or the other reveals blind spots. Managers who could shift their focus both ways proved to be the most successful.

So, we must be as well.

Zooming in or out can be an excellent coping skill, but dwelling too long in either focus can limit our ability to understand the entire picture.

Here’s to a therapeutic zoom. If the present moment is too difficult, zoom out. If the long-term is challenging, zoom in.

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In health-

Deidre

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It’s too darn hot!

While the temps may be soaring in the Northern Hemisphere, many of us are ready to take a deep dive into a cool pool. Being nestled on a floaty while sipping on a cool exotic beverage sounds about right these days.

“Bring me the sunflower crazed with the love of light.” William Cullen Bryant

There are some living things of beauty that are thriving right now – yes, the glorious sunflowers found at Raising Grayce Farm, at 3075 Stanley Road in Greenville, NC, are thriving in the heat and sunshine.

“Light-enchanted sunflower, thou Who gazest ever true and tender On the sun’s revolving splendour.” Pedro Calderon de la Barca

A couple photographer friends of mine recently stopped by this farm to capture some of that beauty found there.

“True friends are like bright sunflowers that never fade away, even over distance and time.” Marie Williams Johnstone

Elaine Varley, elainevarley.zenfolio.com; and Sue Williams, http://neuseriverphotography.com/ and ‘neuse_river’ on Instagram; are gladly sharing their photographic and artistic skills today with foodtalk4you readers.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.” Helen Keller

Sue is also sharing a couple of bird pictures. The little wren is all spread out on the deck sunning itself!

“Bring me the sunflower crazed with the love of light.” Eugenio Montale

Just sit back and take in the view of the sunflower farm and elsewhere while staying cool! Happy summer!

“Whenever I see a sunflower, inevitably, I come to think. Of him whose gifted hands lovingly rendered vivid tongues of flaming yellow; Whose eyes have long gazed on beauty’s light, until the world grew pale and faded. Whose soul perceived yet another realm. Full of shimmering forms and hues. And so sought release beyond the frame.” Kevin C. Kato

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In health – Deidre

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Little Orphan Annie had it right, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.”

Not to be disingenuous in valuing and recognizing human emotions, I often taught my high school Health Science students that they may need to use fake smiles and happiness upon entering their on-site training locations.

Yes, they may be in the pits of relationship angst, bad news, tragedy, or physical discomfort, but they needed to leave all that negativity at the door when they entered the building. Their smile might have the makings for an Oscar nomination, but they were to display a smiling, optimistic attitude.

Sure enough, in their clinical post conferences they reported that, because of a forced smile, they were soon feeling a smile that reached their eyes – their whole outlook had lifted – and that new feeling lasted for the rest of their day.

So, do you start smiling when, say, there’s a knock at your door?

Do you wait until you open the door, see who’s there, and wait for something smile worthy – if seeing their face is not enough?

Or have you picked up the habit of smiling before you open the door?

That’s me.

I’ve even learned to smile before answering the phone! While that sounds a bit hardcore, a smile can be heard. If you let that smile reach your eyes, especially, there’s a naturally sunny brightness in the voice that sets a positive tone.

We can thank a French neurologist, Guillaume Duchenne, for noting that there are two types of smiles. Those that rest solely on the lips, and those that spread up to the eyes.

Basically, polite/fake vs. real smiles.

The reason why starting out with even a forced smile will eventually make us happier is because both kinds of smiling cause the release of the mood stabilizing neurotransmitter serotonin in our brains. As a natural stress reducer, serotonin can eventually help turn that forced smile into something very real and reaching to our eyes – just like my students reported.

And – smiling is contagious.

Who knows the needs of those we meet? They may long for the lift you are giving yourself, as well. Two people can ride on our one smile. Heck, maybe a whole roomful of people can be boosted with our less-than-hearty smile.

Pretty soon everyone will have a more positive outlook.

Sounds like the makings of a ground swell of positivity.

In honor of National Smile Day – yes, I revisited nationaltoday.com – start with a smile!

Smiling:

• Takes fewer muscles than frowning

• Increases productivity and creativity

• Lowers blood pressure, heart rate, pain

• Increases strength and endurance

• Boosts immunity

• Helps our brains become more receptive to positive neurotransmitters

• Helps our brains become more receptive to positive neurotransmitters

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Deidre

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.