Category Archives: Stress Reduction

Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction

Happy Family Caregiver Month!

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Hear, ye! Hear, ye! Hear, ye!

November is declared to be Family Caregivers Month!

Glad they gave family caregivers more than just a single day. A month is nice. Family caregivers, though, merit an entire year of recognition – nonstop.

It was an extreme honor to be asked to speak at a beautiful retirement community in Eastern North Carolina recently. Treelined curving streets, lovely homes, and a beautiful community center located right on the marina greeted me. I think Cypress Landing checked all the boxes for a beautiful retirement lifestyle.

But tucked into countless of those homes are individuals lovingly ministering care to a beloved family member or who are in close contact with a friend nearby who may be alone.

I think we are ALL going to become caregivers at least once – it not many times – to various generations, relations, or friends. It’s just how life works.

My presentation was entitled, Caregiver Emotional Health and Survival, and covered three topics:

  • A key to caregiver survival called Loving Preparedness
  • Revealing Caregiver Emotions and tools to effectively deal with them
  • Caregiving at home – is it right for you?

With social distancing thoroughly observed, our limited audience of six community members all wore masks, as did the videographer and his helper. The event was taped using three cameras and promises to be a lasting resource for the community members through their website.

Yes, I’m waiting to hear from Oprah any day.

Wouldn’t she be able to give a wonderful platform for family caregiver’s voices and concerns?

I was impressed by several thoughts throughout the event:

  • Caregivers feel so much better when they understand they are not alone.
  • Being reaffirmed their efforts are exemplary is critical for their well-being.
  • Friends of caregivers are concerned about how to reach out in a meaningful way.
  • Advice from someone who has walked the path of caregiving is like a sip of cool water to parched lips.

Making a presentation about caregiver emotions as a permanent FREE offering on Teachable is my next project. Whether I use what was taped this week or recreate it on my own, it’s my passion project.

Why? Because it goes to the heart of the family caregiver. It was the unpredictable roller coaster of caregiver emotions that blindsided me and was the most challenging.

Challenging times aren’t the sole property of caregivers, however.

All the tips and tools I shared with the caregiver audience are applicable for all generations and situations right now.

One of those tools is the process of reflection. Reflective activities can be done two ways.

Direct reflection may include prayer, meditation, reading uplifting texts, or journaling. If you are in trying times, journaling can be transformative. Pouring out your thoughts on paper – yes, pen and ink on paper – not only allows for private venting but provides an opportunity to organize thoughts just through the process of writing. By the time you’ve completed dumping your thoughts out on paper, chances are good you’ll have a better perspective about them.

Indirect reflection can happen during creative activities. Some people bake, knit, work in the wood shop, or draw or paint. For me, adult coloring provided me a lifeline that was clean, easy-to-set-up, and was a therapeutic opportunity to work out my feelings.

While coloring, I wasn’t thinking about my emotions. I was thinking only about which color and how much to apply.

Where’s the therapy in that? Certainly, it gave my mind a rest in terms of worries and concerns. That’s a plus. But in so doing, subconsciously, I was sorting out my emotional response. It took me a year of coloring to get my head screwed on straighter.

I’ll make it easy for you. I already Googled free adult coloring pages and have found a resource you may like to find a picture you could color in the coming days – CLICK HERE.

Surely there are some colored pencils hanging around the house for the kids or grandkids.

Sit down.

Unplug from the noise.

Put color to the page.

Ahhhh.

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If you are a caregiver or think you or someone you know may become one, check out my book on Amazon HERE.

In health,

Deidre

Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction

Game Day and SDOGS

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Am I simple-minded? Do I lack motivation? Is this a delaying technique?

Perhaps.

More than likely but I don’t think so, because I’ve already checked one thing off my list.

What’s happening here?

I’ve long fancied pulling a daily housekeeping task out of a hat would make cleaning out drawers, closets, and cupboards more fun perhaps. You know?

The lure of the excitement?

The anticipation of doing one small randomly chosen thing each day instead of tackling an entire goal?

With so many big plans on board, I thought I’d take some of my own advice of breaking a project down into bite-sized pieces, and then add a fun factor.

I have four to six weeks before massively changing two rooms of my house. The guest room that gets used … well, it hasn’t been used for almost three years … is going to be mostly a craft room that I will be using every day – with a soon-to-be-installed Murphy bed for guest use.

The office/business/computer and inspiration room will be relieved of craft project spill-over, look more intentional, and become a second guest room so our entire family can get together … someday – post COVID – through the transformative power of Murphy bed number two.

Suddenly, there’s the moving of furniture, elimination of stuff, emptying of drawers, closets.

Ack!

With every drawer in the house needing sprucing up, I thought, “Why not?”

While still carrying on with blog post deadlines, creating Amazon ads for my books, reaching out to markets that could benefit – especially – from my Toolkit for Caregivers book, and still arranging for the redecorating of both rooms, I have solved the overwhelming problem.

Are you ready?

Doesn’t look like much, but – for me, at least – it’s added a fun element and has taken away dread.

It took me about five minutes to write down the name of every drawer in the house on one piece of paper. With a few scissor cuts, I had about forty-five little pieces. After folding each paper into quarters, I made sure they were mixed up and I put them into a jar. I pulled out the first one and have already tidied up that drawer.

What pleasure it gave me to put the completed task into the empty jar!

Some drawers will be easy. Potholder drawer will be a cinch. The bathroom drawer with make-up will have its challenges. But, I won’t be facing ALL bathroom drawers on the same day.

Maybe your kids could use this approach to the sharing of household chores. We could sure use anything that might add a fun factor.

Jobs need to be done – that part doesn’t change – but, if I can introduce a giggle, some whimsy, a little anticipation … well, that’s a good thing, while mostly staying at home.

Have you started to enjoy Socially Distanced Outdoor Gatherings- SDOGs? I made that acronym up – you heard it here FIRST!

I had my second SDOG this past week around my new fire pit. My first fire pit was a pyramid of candles. We got a laugh out of that one.

The next day, I purchased a real fire pit. It may not be my forever one; but it is serving the purpose at present. You see, there’s an outdoor transformation going on as well. I’m trying to get a vision of my new space while using it. There will be a BBQ area, space for a dining table with an umbrella – who knows?

We had a hilarious time as I shared the art of biscuits-on-a-stick. That’s a story for another time.

It sure was grand being around friends. I hope the weather holds so we can do this lots more.

We are all fatigued with the whole COVID scene; but folks, this is no time to let our guard down. More than likely, we are facing a brutal winter. Please wear a mask when around other people.

Family gatherings are super-risky if they aren’t SDOGs. Knowing and loving someone DOES NOT mean they are safe to be around.

NONE of us knows if we are safe to be around. My latest trip to Lowe’s for paint samples could have exposed me. I could be asymptomatic. You don’t know. I DON’T KNOW!

I shared a thought that came through my Facebook feed the other day that said: “We isolate now, so when we gather again, no one is missing.”

In health,

Deidre

Blogging for good health!, Habit Building, Stress Reduction

The Eyes Have It!

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This is a Public Service Announcement for your eyes. Your peepers have been, undoubtedly, going through some extra stress and strain since March.

Why?

#1- Living with a truckload of extra stress,

#2- Staring at computer screens even more than ever, and

#3 – We’ve never been this old before.

I am still trying not to smack the people who precede their comments with, “Well, as you age, Mrs. Edwards …” to explain away every symptom I have. But, folks, it’s true.

Whether you are pushing 20 years of age, or 40, or 50, or beyond – if we are living, we are AGING.

Embrace it.

With aging comes the drying out that produces wrinkles, and decreases moisture in about everything, and the eyes are no exception. The oil and tear glands are still producing oil and tears but the viscosity – fluidness – is going down.

Think of free-flowing hot pancake syrup changing into cold molasses.

As a result, the slower moving oil glands can very easily get plugged up – especially if we are staring at a computer screen or even an innocent craft project (as in my case last week).

You may be experiencing a sty or a chalazion. The symptoms are described by the Mayo Clinic:

Signs and symptoms of a sty include:

  • A red lump on your eyelid that is similar to a boil or a pimple
  • Eyelid pain
  • Eyelid swelling
  • Tearing

Another condition that causes inflammation of the eyelid is a chalazion. A chalazion occurs when there’s a blockage in one of the small oil glands near the eyelashes. Unlike a sty, a chalazion usually isn’t painful and tends to be most prominent on the inner side of the eyelid. Treatment for both conditions is similar.

No eye inflammation? Great! But you may be experiencing dry eyes. Again, according to the Mayo Clinic, the symptoms eye strain from those dried out eyes include:

  • A stinging, burning or scratchy sensation in your eyes
  • Stringy mucus in or around your eyes
  • Sensitivity to light
  • Eye redness
  • A sensation of having something in your eyes
  • Difficulty wearing contact lenses
  • Difficulty with nighttime driving
  • Watery eyes, which is the body’s response to the irritation of dry eyes
  • Blurred vision or eye fatigue

Even heightened stress can cause a degree of vision changes.

Geez. Sounds like the trifecta for eye woes – and it is.

But happily, there are things we can do to remedy the situation. A few of them include:

  • Make sure you are current with your yearly eye exam
  • Stay hydrated with water
  • Look up from the computer screen more often. Not a quick glance, but look at something far away; blink extra, and take several deep, slow cleansing breaths before looking at the computer again
  • Get up and away from the computer at least once an hour for a ten-minute walk-about
  • Make sure your hands are freshly washed before touching your eyes or caring for your contacts
  • Completely remove all eye make up each night before retiring
  • Do hot, moist compresses for each eye lasting ten minutes to “get the juices flowing” properly

These hot, moist compresses have been the eye-saver for me – except when working on iris paper folding projects too long at night. Every night for almost 3 years, I have been doing hot compresses to both eyes – it’s a doctor’s order.

Skip the compresses and a blocked up gland will result. Sty city.

Horrible hordeolum – that’s my medical slang for a sty. Except these stys do not always come to a head – they are sort of a hybrid of sty/ chalazion – and they are hurtful.

To do a hot compress for my eyes, I simply get an unused/clean wash cloth, fold it, dip the end/ends in very hot tap water, gently squeeze excess water out, and press to my eyelids. When the compress cools off, I re-dip, and re-apply as quickly as possible. Playing some relaxing meditation music while doing this makes for an enjoyable wind-down before bed.

Maybe if I had done these compresses twice a week many years ago, I wouldn’t have to do this every night now.

*Sigh* Oh, the rules apply to me?

Yes, grasshopper, to you as well.

In eye health-

Deidre

Anti-Inflammatory Foods, Blogging for good health!, Exercise, Stress Reduction

Brain Food – Part 1

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Brain fog? Shorter concentration? Decreased ability to coordinate several processes to reach a goal? The focus here is not determining if Granny needs assistance. It’s about where we all are right now.

Age-related diseases are more of a concern now as people are living longer than any previous time in history. But, waiting until someone is ninety-five years old is too late to start building brain function.

Brain health is developed before we’re born and continues throughout our lifetime. Neglecting the promotion of brain health in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood spells disaster, not only later in life, but even earlier.

This topic is central to my studies and what I share on foodtalk4you. Much of what I am sharing in this series is derived from a nursing license renewal class I recently took: Brain Food: The Role of Nutrients in Memory and Cognitive Function by Annell St. Charles, PhD, RD, through the Institute for Natural Resources.

What and how much we eat are key factors in our brain health.

Many of us quake in our boots every time we forget something. The specter of Alzheimer’s disease seems to threaten us on every level. Epidemiological evidence is showing; however, that diet choices available to each of us every day can be key factors in reducing the risk for Alzheimer’s disease (AD).

Foods good for our cognitive function share the effects of being antioxidant and anti-inflammatory. I wrote about an anti-inflammatory approach to eating and life itself in my first book, Toolkit for Wellness.

Research is finding some aspects of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) can be found in healthy young adults but do not become apparent until later in life. With brain maturity peaking in the 30s or 40s, there is ample time to boost brain health in the young and to continue throughout our lives.

A big predictor in developing late-life dementia is

1) mid-life obesity and

2) lower cognitive performance earlier in life.

Obesity brings on a cascade of body issues that play into body-wide inflammation and metabolic challenges. The overeating habit of poor quality of food is sweeping across America and other parts of the world under our fast food influence.

Obesity is preventable, and yet is becoming the scourge of modern society. Stress eating during this pandemic is probably at an all-time high – but our circumstances do not make it alright.

As I explained in my book, fast food and pre-packaged foods are all designed for us to eat more. Large food conglomerates employ people to find that sweet/salty spot, which will make consumers want to come back for more.

Sugar does not satisfy or quench. Sugar makes us want more sugar. It’s as simple as that.

What to eat? Nutrient dense foods as found in the Mediterranean diet will supply the nutrition our brains and bodies need for optimal health. Whereas, nutrient-poor diets rely on consuming highly-processed food, which lack the antioxidants and anti-inflammatory elements needed for brain/body health.

Diets favoring nutrient-poor foods are affecting the size of our brain part associated with learning and memory – the hippocampus. Of note – both long-term and short-term consumption of foods high in saturated fats have resulted in changes in brain function. Think how this plays out in children consuming a fast-food biscuit on their way to school each day.

A higher intake of fruits and vegetables will help prevent and reverse age-related deficiencies by decreasing inflammation and oxidative stress.

In sum, look for the following to select nutrient-dense food:

  • Go for the color in fruits and vegetables
  • Aim for fiber-rich foods
  • Seek lower-fat dairy
  • Switch to lower fat cuts of meats
  • Eat more poultry, fish, eggs, beans, nuts, and seeds

The colorful plant food choices will ramp up protective phytochemicals that have been shown to be protective for the brain and nervous system. Talk about brain food – plant-based foods rock!

Rome wasn’t built in a day. A consistent effort in making tiny changes is a sustainable approach to build sustainable health. Choose one meal to improve each day.

On a personal note – I’m into my second week of daily, sweat-producing exercise and am loving it! Contrary to what one might think, my appetite is less than before starting this program. I needed the structure of a program and I chose to join something online. My neighbor does it for free as she taps into an endless array of YouTube routines each morning.

Everything works together – exercise energizes and creates a positive frame of mind. A better outlook will boost us all into making better choices. We can do this!

In health-

Deidre

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Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

Do You Have A Problem With ANTs?

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Some of us are overrun with ANTs. The influence of those ANTs affects every cell of our body. It changes the cell’s make-up and how it reacts. In fact, as those ANTs-influenced cells divide and reproduce, the resulting new cells will become more receptive to ANTs.

Is this another horrible 2020 health scare? Are we being taken over by giant zombie ants? Sigh.

No. You can rest easy. Breathe.

These ANTs are not the picnic variety, sending scouts to scope out what useable scraps and crumbs you might leave for them.

These are eons-old Automatic Negative Thoughts: ANTs.

This is all a Segway into my series about sustainability. Is how we are living – eating, moving, thinking – creating a healthy, sustainable life?

From my perspective, being unhealthy is not sustainable because it causes decline and premature death. While people do sustain unhealthy lifestyles, what they are doing is not sustaining life.

We’ve all heard the adage, “You are what you eat.” Garbage in; garbage out. Not hard to understand. Hard to apply to daily food choices unless we wear blinders to the advertising that surrounds us and are armed with knowledge.

But here’s a new twist on the old ideas about positive thinking: “You are what you think.”

I’ve long studied about negative thoughts compounding the spiral of stress. That’s not new. But negative thoughts kick off a domino chain reaction that ends with changes in the structure of cells in our bodies.

A more detailed description can be found HERE.

Let me summarize by example. Thoughts are more than some invisible vapor zinging through our physical brains. Thoughts are things that cause chemical changes in our brains that affect how we feel and function. Watch a happy movie and notice how relaxed, refreshed, and happy you feel. Anticipate an evening of challenging, uncontrollable events and observe the reflux kicking in and the muscles in your neck tightening.

Armed with that, read this paragraph quoted from the link above:

The article, How Your Thoughts Program Your Cells. explains it this way:

There are thousands upon thousands of receptors on each cell in our body. Each receptor is specific to one peptide, or protein. When we have feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, excitement, happiness or nervousness, each separate emotion releases its own flurry of neuropeptides. Those peptides surge through the body and connect with those receptors which change the structure of each cell as a whole. Where this gets interesting is when the cells actually divide. If a cell has been exposed to a certain peptide more than others, the new cell that is produced through its division will have more of the receptor that matches with that specific peptide. Likewise, the cell will also have less receptors for peptides that its mother/sister cell was not exposed to as often.

This should give us pause as we partake in negative chatter. From inner dialogue – “I’ll never be able to do this!” “I’m not good enough!” – to outward conversations or negative Facebook feed.

Negativity does not create just a bad mood, but it causes negative things to happen in our cells. As those cells swim in an environment of negatively inspired neuropeptides and are influenced by them, they create daughter cells that respond more readily to negativity and not positivity.

This colors how our bodies function. That smooth heart rhythm we count on. How food is broken down and absorbed for growth and repair. How our blood sugar is regulated. How we sleep.

Time for some mindful breathing, folks.

Time for some quiet meditation.

Time to count your blessings.

Time for thanksgiving.

Time to smile.

Time to love.

Reprograming our thoughts will reprogram our cells which will reprogram how smoothly and sustainably we function.

And just maybe … the ripples will flow right out into the world.

Next week, I’ll continue the theme of sustainability as we explore the last half of this link with the topic of epigenetics and how our life-styles – and thoughts – can turn our genes on or off. Click on the subscribe button so you won’t miss out!

In health-

Deidre

Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

Sustainability

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Sustainability?

As the world still reels from this pandemic, each of us has been rocked to our core. Many are finding that what they counted on was, in fact, unreliable. Supply sources dried up; daily schedules and destinations were rewritten or vanished altogether. How we stay connected has radically changed.

As a result, sustainability – or, more aptly, self-sustainability – has been on my mind.

How can I sustain myself, and what merits being sustained, in my life? I am continually re-examining what is worth keeping. How can I organize what I want to do or possess so it is sustainable without creating over-commitment or clutter?

Collectively, we have been forced to deal with having relied on other nations for goods. As individuals, many of us have depended upon a store for every bite of food.

Is that wise?

In terms of PPE, Personal Protective Equipment, we learned that, no, relying solely on other nations during this COVID pandemic was not a good idea. Many manufacturing companies in our country have taken up the gauntlet by shifting their factories over to making vital equipment and supplies for medical staff and patients.

Individuals have turned to their sewing machines and 3-D printers to ramp up production of some of the masks and gear we are now wearing to protect others’ health and lives.

So, that leaves food. I was asked recently why I had started a garden – I had never grown anything more than herbs. Why now?

I wanted to bolster my food supply. Of course, I also had the time to tend it…

After 40 years in hurricane-prone Eastern North Carolina, I am well-versed on how to stock up on bottled water, peanut butter, canned beans/tuna/chicken, and such to take me over the short haul. As you read this, the storm/hurricane Isais will have just passed (over?) my head.

But the long haul?

Suddenly, visions of Grandma in days-of-old, canning the garden produce in the heat of summer sounds wise for the here-and-now.

While I haven’t surrounded myself with mountains of Mason jars and vats to can them in, I do have an eye out for ways to extend my harvest. The dehydrator may be my go-to method this year since I already have a nice one.

Nothing in 2020 has turned out as planned. We could never have imagined a shutdown of how we do business, education, medicine, long-term care, sports, or entertainment. Many aspects of our former ways have not even begun to reopen because it is still not safe.

Hoarding is not the answer – witness the toilet tissue nightmare – it’s so unnecessary and selfish.

But becoming more self-reliant and self-sustainable in times of crisis can be addressed in gardening.

My sod-busting efforts to create a new 6’ by 6’ plot for corn has yielded a mix of full and partial ears. Not exactly what I had hoped for; but the satisfaction of harvesting and eating your own crops is priceless.

Learning how okra looks when growing has provided endless delight. Its flowers are stunning and the plant itself is a fascination. There will be enough to share.

Baby-sized butternut squash are so cute! Unlike their full-sized counterparts, these little gems are a cinch to peel with a carrot peeler. Baked, sautéed, or dehydrated – not a one will go to waste!

Japanese eggplants dangle like ornaments on a Christmas tree. They, too, have uncharacteristically tender skins that do not need peeling at all. There are enough to share and can be sautéed with okra for a dinner side dish of fresh goodness.

The Early Girl tomato is a prolific producer, flavorful, and is still growing.

The Heirloom Tomato has lots of flowers, but slowly produces one or two good-sized gems at a time – excellent sliced for that ‘mater sandwich I described here a few weeks ago.

What about fall crops? This garden-to-table habit needs to continue!

I’ve already been assured that the local big-box garden store will have abundant choices for fall planting later in August and early September. Fall collards, cabbage, and definitely Brussels sprouts will be on the menu.

There may be more sod busting or building of raised beds in the future. Looking for ideas on that one.

All told, in a time of uncertainty, gardening does impart a sense of relative control in supplementing my food supply.

In a time of disconnect, being connected to my food helps to fill the gap.

I hope readers will share what they are doing with their gardens or how the world situation has changed their gardening efforts this year.

My son, James, has expanded beyond his usual hot peppers and herbs to include an Early Girl that doesn’t know when to stop growing, as well as tomatillos that are probably double the normal size.

My daughter, Serena, living in the tropical climates, is growing pineapple, mango, avocado, papaya, limes, lemons, and a few other exotic fruits.

Maybe one day I can garden like my friend, Patricia. Her garden looks like a small farm and her crops are abundant.

Speaking of sustainability – is what you are eating and how you are living going to sustain you in health? I will be starting a series of articles next week that will delve into what I have learned about the gut-brain connection in terms of memory, cognitive function, and the effects of stress. Make sure to click the subscribe button so you won’t miss out.

In health,

Deidre

A fruit tree from Serena’s tropical garden!

James’ Early Girl tomatoes and tomatillos – that won’t stop growing!

Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

Sheltering in Place

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RESET!

Seems as though our bright, hopeful, shiny new year has been put on pause. If it were a computer, we’d unplug it for ten seconds and try again.

Just press the reset button, please!

Friends around the world have already been caught up in this novel coronavirus, COVID-19, and have been touched by the suffering. Whether physical, mental, emotional, or financial – the burden, inconvenience, and sorrow are all going to be felt for a protracted period of time worldwide.

In my town, we were just getting back on our feet from a devastating hurricane two years ago. In other areas around the globe, wounds are still fresh from fierce fires, floods, or devastating tornadoes.

As the virus creeps across America and starts to threaten us close to home, we are seeing the value of laying low and sheltering in place.

Work from home. Learn online. No more events that draw crowds. Just this weekend, at least five of my activities were cancelled until further notice.

We are a mobile society. We go and do all the time.

If possible, we are being asked to avoid crowds and to stay home. I totally applaud this approach as it is the only way we can be proactive – to get ahead of the eight ball – rather than waiting to react after it is too late.

How this laying low is going to further disrupt families with children and parents who still must work away from home is mind-boggling.

If we must press this RESET button then, let’s embrace it.

Are there neighbors who need help with childcare? Is your elderly neighbor lonely, isolated, and in need of food?

If we each take care of our own little spot, then we can all move forward in a better, healthier, and unified way.

Personally, how are you resetting yourself? I’m feeling such a calmness, as even enjoyable obligations are being released. This is a time of just being … and it can be refreshing.

Meditate, read, talk to others at home more, call friends and relatives, or putter in the garden.

This is my chance to declutter my environment – this is the “round tuit” I’ve been looking for. I’m “getting around to (doing) it” now. Pull out clothes I no longer wear; organize some drawers; get rid of outdated magazines, and anything else that might lighten my visual load at home.

As it is a holy season for two faith communities, I am reminded of the image of the first Passover when the faithful were hunkered down at home waiting for the plague of death to pass over their homes during the night.

Our season of staying home, being watchful and careful and praying for this virus to pass by us, will last longer than one night.

Being smart in our activities – mindfully following guidelines, helping those around us, and keeping calm are tasks we all can master – together.  

We can press this RESET button in unison-

Deidre

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Blogging for good health!, Food Talk 4 You!, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

Then This Happened on the Way to Sharing a Recipe

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To fill the “one bite at a time promise” for this post, I was going share a recipe or a cooking tip, but on the way…

Grief struck. Abject sadness. Tears. Quiet sobs.

It will be two years this May since I bid my husband goodbye, until we would meet again.

Grief never ends, and it rears its sad, sometimes choking, presence at unexpected times.

It was a beautiful day. I happily cooked breakfast for my grandkids whom I watched that week. I had slept well enough – although there was a dream about my husband’s last moments – but I’ve had those before with no discernable aftereffects.

Surely, this episode of overt grief will pass; it usually always does – but there was a different quality to this – something … sadder … deeper.

Thoughts of sharing recipes are replaced with the need to breathe and not break into tears with full-blown sobbing in front of grandchildren before they leave for school.

Get out.

Pull myself together.

Walk the dog.

Get into the car and drive somewhere in this unfamiliar town I’m visiting.

Be pro-active.

Help myself.

“Yes, Ma’am!”

So, I dutifully checked off all the things that had helped in the past, and by the time I got home, I was much the same …

This was new grief territory for me. Have you experienced something like this? Just when you think you have that “grief thing” pretty well-experienced, some new reaction pops up to blind-side you?

I moved on to reach out to a friend who provided the phone support I needed, but still …

Taking the smallest measurable amount of a prescription nerve pill helped get me across the line from lingering deep sadness to genuinely okay. Taking any medication is a last resort for me and many of my readers.

Knowing how to self-reboot is important. Notice that rebooting went through several stages. Did I feel like leaving the house – walking the dog – driving to a store?

Absolutely not.

I felt like diving under my weighted blanket for the rest of the day.

But take the necessary steps I did. Don’t wait until you feel like helping yourself. That might not happen.

“Oh, you’re sad! Take an anti-depressant … take a nerve pill.”

We must be careful. Being sad is a normal part of life – the ebb and flow of normal human experience. Knowing when some extra help is needed is crucial for the balance we all hope to find.

Self-awareness will guide us to know when extra help is needed. For the grief process, a national group called Grief Share holds meetings across America. Our local chapter is even expanding its group sharing opportunities to meet the needs of the growing number of people dealing with grief.

Perhaps you may be having too many of those days with a black hole of grief that cripples your participation in the world. Just one day was more than I ever want to have.

Join me into looking for a Grief Share meeting nearby and making the time in what may be a jam-packed schedule to put your needs first.

We’ll share recipes next time. I’ve got a meeting to go to.

In health-

Deidre

Don’t miss even one FoodTalk4You.com newsletter! Look for the sign up to the left of this page above.

Habit Building, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

She Ain’t Heavy … Oh, Weight …

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We promise posts about better health one bite … one breath … one movement at a time.

Oh look! It’s the Golden Doodle Oodles!

Last week, the post “Ooodles of Doodles” shared a daily living philosophy of being in the moment, and how easily our pets remind us of that. File that one under “breath.”

Today is about movement – or lack thereof.

Wait!

This is not about cracking the whip to guilt us all into jogging.

It’s about that time of day that is the key restorative time for our bodies. The time of day, if we don’t do this one key thing, our health will come down like a house of cards.

Sleep.

Check out the Toolkit for Wellness’s chapter on sleep to learn of how sleep deprivation ramps up hunger for starchy carbs, as well as how it can impede response to insulin.

Do you find sleep comes more easily if you are buried under a mountain of blankets? It may be more than just the cold that’s causing you to dive deep into the down comforters or quilts. It’s the weight.

Weight?

Yes. Turns out that all those blankets weighing you down are – weighing you down. Their cumulative weight is stimulating deep touch pressure receptors in your muscles, giving you the benefits of an all-night hug.

Hugs cause a release of the hormone oxytocin which may have benefits for depression, anxiety, and other problems. In general, oxytocin leaves you feeling calm, tranquil, and loving. Ahhh. Some articles I’ve read have cited a positive effect on serotonin and melatonin release with using weighted blankets; both hormones positively effect quality of sleep.

Temple Grandin

Perhaps you are aware of Temple Grandin – author, speaker, professor at Colorado State University, and PhD in animal science – whose life story was made into a movie? She developed a “squeezing machine” that would surround her with a hug, causing deep touch pressure, and would alleviate her anxiety attacks.

Temple Grandin’s Squeeze Machine

Dr. Grandin is on the Autism Spectrum. Her story is fascinating, and you can learn more about this amazing woman HERE.

For years, many people with ASD have relied on weighted blankets to sooth them through feelings of crisis and anxiety. Now, weighted blankets have gone mainstream.

I’ve always enjoyed a little extra weight on me when sleeping. Doesn’t matter if it’s in the heat of summer; sleeping just under a sheet has never been an option. I sort of feel like I’m going to float away.

Maybe I’m on the spectrum? Doesn’t matter.

I recently had the chance to use a weighted blanket. Wow! There’s such a feeling of being grounded, safe, snug, and relaxed. My restless legs did not move. It’s something I might consider purchasing.

If you are having issues with not getting a restful slumber, I highly recommend you consider trying one, if your physician agrees.

There are several medical conditions and personal phobias that would preclude your using a weighted blanket. Diabetes, skin issues, circulatory problems, pregnancy, and others– ask your doctor first, just to be safe.

And more is not better. The added weight is achieved through small pockets of plastic pellets, glass beads, flax seeds, or other materials. The rule of thumb is to use a blanket that is 10% of your body weight plus two pounds. If you get too warm when sleeping, then forget selecting the two extra pounds. If menopausal hot flashes are a bother, forget buying the weighted blanket at all.

Note: There is a danger if using on infants or small children. Always consult your pediatrician first.

Weighted blankets come in all sizes. The one I tried was like a throw blanket and was enough to cover my core body but leave my feet free if I stretched out. They are widely available online and in stores.

The only negative I can imagine if someone used a weighted blanket regularly, is not being able to adapt to not having a one when traveling. Trust me; you don’t want to put one into your carry on. Heavy.

Yours in health –

Deidre

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Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

Oodles For Doodles!

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I live in the best of three worlds.

At my home, I answer only to myself. Sneezes are caused by the pollen of spring or the dust bunnies born of my own housekeeping neglect. Leaving home is never a bother – pack and go – no concerns except providing for withering houseplants.

At my daughter’s, I am blessed with grand-cats. Feline independence can be charming. Watching this sister-pair explore and tame their world is both, a relaxing and amusing pastime. One quick to purr, and one who is a great gecko chaser. These two send my daughter off to work from the driveway and manage to frequently greet her from the doorstep at day’s end.

At my son’s, I am blessed with a grand-dog, and her, frequently-visiting, litter-mate from across the street. Blurs of fur streaking through the house in total glee of brother and sister antics fill our eyes. Two shades of Golden Doodle delight. All gentleness and ever-present love.

Sneezing is high on the list today as my grandkids and I had to wage war on fur balls and the resulting dust gathering in them. So much sneezing! Ahhh-choo! Amazing how these hypo-allergenic dogs still shed enough to alter air quality.

But all’s good now.

Who would mind a little extra effort if it afforded a daily gaze into eyes filled with love and adoration – to that wagging tail signaling delight at seeing you – to that softness of fur as you stroke and pat a creature that accepts you just as you are? Or to that purring we interpret as total contentment in our arms?

While it’s nice to not have to worry about what to do with a beloved pet when I exit the house or leave for a trip, there is something I’m missing by being animal-free. But there’s one lesson I’m definitely taking home with me as I leave my furry grand-dog.

Our four-legged friends are the perfect example of how to live in the present.

Granted, their realms of responsibilities are not the same as ours. While we may stress about earning enough money to afford their kibble, they’re only anxiety is getting their bowl filled if we neglect their exact mealtime.

Overall, our precious, furry friends seem to be models of living in the present.

Wisely, this is the only thing anyone or anything can affect. Make this moment the best and enjoy it!

Be your best self – right now.

In health-

Deidre

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