One of our most popular recent posts was Strings from September 10, 2024. I’m glad it struck a chord for so many readers.
After the discussion about pulling our invisible string to lift our chests, straighten our backs, and hold our heads erect, came the video about Amy Cuddy’s TED talk.
I summarized her thoughts by concluding that, “If you want to give energy, you must be an open vessel to receive it.”
In this season of giving, we recognize that many of us face the challenge of offering our time and energy to others throughout the year, not just during the holidays. Whether we’re teaching, working in healthcare, or caring for loved ones, we know that taking time to recharge is essential to sustaining our ability to continue giving.
Stepping away for some self-care is a non-negotiable for our survival – “can’t pour from an empty vessel” – and all of that.
But what if our vessel is full of stuff?
Meaning, emotions we are holding onto – clogging our head and heart space.
A recent Facebook post from Peace, Love, and Smiles so beautifully stated: “Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.”
A key principle in my next book, Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions, is that emotions are not us. We experience them, they pass, and then we experience something else.
But some people start to identify with their emotions, letting them rule the day – day after day.
So, someone who experiences resentment, for example, becomes a resentful person.
Releasing these emotions is the first step to freeing ourselves from their hold on us so we can fill up and recharge, allowing us to be our best—for ourselves and others.
The message, then, is to take a moment to assess what emotion is taking center stage and dominating your very essence.
I start my conferences and workshops with an exercise in doing a release, by recommending the audience hold something in their hand to represent the emotion they want to release.
Then, bringing that symbolic object to their chest, they close their eyes, and after a few deep slow breaths, they ask themselves a question when they inhale on the next breath, saying:
“Would you, could you, be able to release this emotion for just a while? Set it aside for just a spell?”
On the exhale, they honestly answer.
If they can say yes to setting that emotion aside for even a little while – or forever – then they open their eyes, watching as they pull their hand away from their chest, and observe themselves setting that object/emotion down.
Doing this release can create an instantaneous sensation of being lighter and freer.
Those who are not yet ready to release, even briefly, their overriding emotions will benefit by further self-exploration of why they are holding on, why they perceive holding on is a benefit, or why they think they deserve to feel that way. Such a discussion may need the practiced listening ear of a counselor.
After a release, we are open to filling our batteries so we are ready to give again.
In the season of giving, remember to ‘release’ before trying to ‘fill,’ so that you can ‘give.’
In health –
Deidre
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