Suffering In Silence

She’s been taking care of her aunt for fifteen months non-stop. No relief. Getting tired and worn down. Clueless there might be another way, she believes this is what she’s supposed to be doing.

As a transplant to a new town, she’s not developed a network of friends or resources. She just soldiers on, unaware she’s becoming burned out.

That’s a true story.

Every time I speak with someone about the growing crisis concerning caregivers of loved ones at home, I hear a new story that just fires up my commitment to help.

Did you know that 10,000 people A DAY are becoming eligible for Medicare? That’s right. Hospice Foundation of America has labeled this phenomenon the new “Silver Tsunami.”

This is all happening over the backdrop of an ever-increasing number of long-term degenerative diseases in our population – coupled with the trend of people wanting to stay at home longer – even with mounting medical needs.

Those who are a part of this Silver Tsunami will care for someone else, AND require being cared for!

Imagine George and Martha, both in their sixties, looking forward to a retirement life of travel, but who are currently taking care of Martha’s mother, who is 87 years old.

Within five years, Martha’s mom passes away; but Martha has a stroke, leaving her with difficulty walking and needing assistance with self-care. Two of their three children live out-of-state, so much of the caregiver help comes from their daughter and husband, George.

And so it goes.

I discussed these things recently with a group of volunteer Stephen Ministers at a local church. They are finding  the ranks of caregivers of loved ones at home to be increasing, with the need to counsel and emotionally walk with caregivers on that end-of-life journey – critical.

Two components in my new, double-book, Toolkit for Caregivers with the bonus, Love Lives Here – Toolkit for Caregiver Survival, greatly serve families of every age in making those inevitable life transitions go more smoothly.

Talking Points for “The Conversation” will help families – young and old – with a list of Loving Considerations appropriate for every stage of life. You see, this Silver Tsunami will touch almost every household in America when you consider the multi-generational effect of family life changes – as depicted by the story of George and Martha.

While wishes, hopes, and desires will evolve over time, starting The Conversation early will help set the framework and create the habit for loving, frank, family conversations.

The Business Side of Dying Checklist will help survivors navigate the business issues that invade emotional grieving space after someone dies. If Loving Considerations have been made during the time of The Conversation, then checking off these business items should not be traumatic for those doing them.

Caregiver Workshops, introducing basic patient care skills and caregiver issues, are being planned to start in Eastern North Carolina in the coming months. In those workshops, participants will receive printed handouts covering The Conversation and The Business Side of Dying Checklist along with the already downloadable Skills Packet that comes with every purchase of Toolkit for Caregivers.Nationally, my books are always available online HERE.

The Next Chapter Book and Art Store

In ENC, books are also available at The Next Chapter Book and Art Store, South Front Street, around the corner from Captain Ratty’s, in downtown New Bern. I will be outside of The Next Chapter on Saturday, October 12 for Mum Fest, and I will also have a booth at The Holiday Gift Show, at the New Bern Convention Center November 15-16.

As I counseled those Stephen Ministers, caregiver emotions can be such a jumbled mess and can catch the unsuspecting caregiver off guard when unprepared. When the time of caregiving is over, caregiver grief also has aspects that can baffle and torment.

My philosophy of preparation being a key tool in learning, doing, or experiencing any thing in life is proving so true for caregivers and families everywhere.

Loving considerations help everyone. Use those loving considerations to drive your preparations for life transitions now.

Share the caregiver book that can help everyone by clicking HERE to purchase or by sharing this post with others.

In health-

Deidre

PS- I’m seeing a lot of Facebook posts about tantalizing fall recipes. Unfortunately, they all have a common theme of a truckload of sugar. I’ll be sharing some yummy, good-for-you recipes that will have your taste buds doing a happy dance next time.

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