Category Archives: Stress Reduction

Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction, This -n- That

Pretty In Pink – And Calmer

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Psychologists, sociologists, and historians will wag on for decades, looking at our pandemic experience from every possible angle, turning it over and over to draw their sage conclusions.

In the meantime, we’re living in this jumble of emotions while faced with physical isolation, uncertainty on every front, and grief.

Now, as we are possibly crawling out from being under this pandemic monster, we are wondering how we will respond to doing it in real time.

I am recalling past studies about the color pink and its effect on emotions and upon the body.  As I refreshed my recollections here: What Does the Color Pink Do to You? | Psychology Today and here: The Color Psychology of Pink (verywellmind.com), some fascinating research done in 1975 and 1985 came to light.

A study of 153 healthy young men showed that after they stared at 2-by-3 foot pieces of cardboard painted either deep blue or Pepto Bismol pink, the men who stared at the pink boards scored significantly lower in strength evaluations than their blue staring cohorts.

Based on these studies, the Navy painted detention rooms that same pink. Within 15 minutes, angry, unruly detainees calmed right down. Various county jails, youth detention centers, and psychiatric centers across America have used rooms painted in what became known as Baker-Miller pink (after the Navy officers who first used this color) to calm down and pacify angry, anxious, aggressive prisoners/clients.

Pink’s effects can be counter-productive in the long run, however, for after the initial calming phase, those confined to pink rooms for longer periods became anxious and agitated.

Too much of something?

Well, yes. And this brings me back to our pandemic state of mind.

Who, pre-COVID, has not lamented for:

  • More time at home?
  • More time with the family?
  • More time alone with just your thoughts?
  • Time off from rushing around?
  • Time to catch up on household projects?

Some of those items were viewed as our calming pink room.

Ahhh. A place to go to just be us.

Clearly, we have exceeded our calming stay in that proverbial pink room. 

Yes, books have been written, homes redecorated, gardens planted, pictures painted, and much more, but people were not meant to lead such isolated lives. Most people are needing the give-and-take of smiles, hugs, shared meals, and shared experiences.

But a whistle is not going to blow, announcing the start of a race to normal. We aren’t going to be let out of the gate, running toward the nearest hug.

The same way there was no hard and fast rulebook about who would get sick, who would recover, who would have long-term effects, or who would die – there will be no absolute rulebook on how to come out of this.

Despite the agony of longing for social company, our minds will have to learn how to physically leave our safe spots with confidence and comfort – and achieve that elusive degree of safety.

Will we really want to fill our social calendars with endless in-person, have-to meetings or activities just because we can?

How has your focus changed? Once the populace has been vaccinated to an acceptable level, how will your freedom look?

It’s going to be months before this can happen, and millions of people are going to have to continue with safe habits and get vaccinated, but it’s a topic worth thinking about.

People have been changed. Depression is high with more prescriptions for anti-depressants being written than ever before. Many of us have not been hugged in over a year.

My friends and family are beginning to enjoy small, vaccinated, gatherings without masks. I talked to my neighbor yesterday; we’re both fully vaccinated, and neither of us wore a mask. We stayed 6 feet apart. I felt like I was doing something liberating – and yet daring.

Strange times. Need to get out of this pink room, for sure.

By the way – an addendum was added to last week’s post HERE about closing our mouths to breathe. Please be sure to go back and read the additional clarification.

In health-

Deidre

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Blogging for good health!, Habit Building, Stress Reduction

Well, Shut My Mouth!

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Meh. Air in. Air out. What’s the big deal?

Any path in or out doesn’t matter. My nose is congested most of the time anyway, so mouth breathing will do the job, right?

Wrong.

My mind is being blown away by ANCIENT information containing the sure knowledge that breathing exclusively through the nose leads to a long healthy life; and mouth breathing leads to disease, facial deformity, and premature death.

As promised, after sharing some breathing pattern exercises that assist in de-stressing our inner selves, HERE, I am now sharing a little of what I am learning about how to breathe.

Got that??

Yes. James Nestor’s book, Breath – The New Science of a Lost Art, is changing my perspective – not only about how to breathe – but altering my thinking about health, itself, and where it comes from.

And, I am only halfway into chapter 4.

  • Snoring?
  • Sleep apnea?
  • High blood pressure?
  • ADHD?
  • Bedwetting?
  • Erectile Dysfunction?
  • Psoriasis?
  • Depression?
  • Headaches?
  • Crooked teeth?

Oh, the list just goes on and on. Chances are excellent that sufferers of the conditions on the list above are … wait for it … mouth breathers.

You’ve never heard of such? I hadn’t either. I was vaguely aware that mouth breathing lead to an enlarged heart, but all the rest was news to me.

Yet, this is not new information. There is a vast, tough currently not widely shared, body of knowledge on this topic. So far, I have learned about:

  • Texts as old as 1500 BC explaining that the nose is designed to bring air into the body, not the mouth
  • 8th Century Chinese texts citing that breathing is meant to happen through the nose; otherwise, mouth breathing would bring disease.
  • George Catlin, in 1830, who trekked through North America visiting 50 Native American tribes, where he found people to be quite tall – often up to 7 feet – were robust in health, had perfect teeth, and showed no deformities or diseases. Throughout his travels, he discovered a common denominator.
George Catlin

Each tribe embraced what they viewed as an ancient truth regarding health: Breathe exclusively through the nose. Breathing through the mouth brought stress and disease. This single idea was initiated in practice from birth. Mothers would watch over their babies, closing their mouths should they fall open. Even the way babies were carried made mouth opening difficult. So committed to this principle, Native Americans would even smile with closed lips.

  • Catlin continued his exploration of Native Peoples in the Andes, Argentina, and Brazil to see if this technique was universally held. It was.

In 1862, Catlin published his findings, Breath of Life. My copy arrives next week, but James Nestor quotes his last paragraph saying:

“And if I were to endeavor to bequeath to posterity the most important Motto which human language can convey, it should be in three words – SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Where I would paint and engrave it, in every Nursery, and on every Bed-post in the Universe, its meaning could not be mistaken. And if obeyed, its importance would soon be realized.”

See, Catlin became a true believer after closing the chapter of decades-long respiratory disease to opening four decades of robust health, living to about double the life expectancy of that time – all through the diligent practice of breathing exclusively through his nose.

One point of physiology that Nestor is teaching in these early chapters is that mouth breathing begets the need to mouth breathe, while nose breathing increases the ability to nose breathe.

Mouth breathing leads very quickly to snoring. Snoring leads to sleep apnea, whereby the ever-softening tissues at the back of the throat sag down and block the airway, eventually waking the snorer with a snort, which is an intentional gasp to reboot breathing – but just briefly.

So, do you breathe through your nose at night, or through your mouth?

I wasn’t sure. Seemed there was a lot of thick phlegm at the back of my throat that needed to be hacked out every morning. I went to bed with my mouth shut. I woke up with my mouth shut. But I was never ready to get up and out of bed come morning. Hmmm.

Following Nestor’s advice, I purchased some 3M Nexcare Durapore Durable Cloth tape, which in the medical realm is silk tape that is used for bandages.

A one-inch piece of this odorless tape will do. Gently placed over the center of my lips, I am guaranteed to not mouth breathe. Tape removal the next morning is easy, painless, and with no tape residue.

Results? Magically, there is no phlegm to hack out. Also, was that really me – ready to get out of bed? Maybe I wasn’t a lazy person.

Okay, once could have been a fluke. So, I’m continuing my quest to be the best nose breather ever, and the results are the same every day. I feel rested and ready to start each new day.

Who knows what wonders of robust health await? How about you? Ready to SHUT YOUR MOUTH?

Breathing through my nose-

Deidre

ADDENDUM:

Let’s breathe – not gag or suffocate – please! As a reminder to all foodtalk4you readers, I want to remind you not to go to extremes if you want to try your own little tape-over-the-lips experiment.

Clearly, a generous use of Duct Tape, masking tape, painter’s tape, or Gorilla glue should be avoided AT ALL COSTS.

The one-inch portion of silk tape you see me using has now been pared down to one-half inch. You want to be able to cough, sneeze, or even throw up without blocking a natural exit.

This has been safe for me and others while employing common sense.

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Hope and Blessings

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While some are gladly shredding any reminders of 2020, others are starting their new year with an uplifting time of remembrance.

What?

Who are these nut cases?

Well, I am!

In the first post of 2020 (HERE), I shared an idea that had come through my Facebook feed about starting a Blessings Jar. The habit of jotting down a few words about a blessing was well-established when COVID-19 became a driving force in our lives by mid-March.

Just having this unassuming jar sitting on my counter everyday provided a reminder there are blessings to be found in all circumstances.  I was already having so much fun viewing my little town’s Bear Drop Ceremony at 6:00 pm EST to be concerned with the Blessing Jar reveal on New Year’s Eve.

Masked, solo, and under an umbrella, I joined a small, socially-distanced group to bid an early and rainy goodbye to 2020. Because of COVID restrictions, there’s a 10:00 curfew, but – lucky for us – our sister city of Bern, Switzerland, was celebrating at midnight, when we were doing our Bear Drop earlier in the evening in New Bern, North Carolina. So, in terms of dropping the ball, ‘er Bear, we were all legit.

It was yet another blessing entry for my 2020 jar. The big revealing of a year’s blessings was delayed for me until January 5th.

So, last evening, out poured all the noted blessings of 2020. Reading each one created wave upon wave of gratitude, smiles, and happiness. How truly rich I am! Some papers simply had the name of a friend. My heart lifted them in prayers of gratitude along with the sincere hope that I was a blessing to them as well. Would my name appear in their jar?

The experience of reviewing each entry was far more powerful than I had imagined it would be. Strength giving. Transformative. Humbling. Heart-swelling with love.

And creative. I want to create blessings for others. Oh, how I wanted to be the force of blessing to others.

With each blessing comes a realization that there’s HOPE.

HOPE that we can endure anything if we have blessings. The blessings are there. We need to take our spirits out of the sludge of the daily news to see the blessings that are right before our eyes.

Since 2018, I have suggested to readers to use a Word of the Year to guide and color their intent – their approach – for the new year. (HERE: 2018 1 – 2019 1 – 2020 1)

There had been no great personal revelation for my Word this year until I put a couple things together while reviewing the contents of my blessings jar.

The first, was an ornament our church had given to each of us this year. One word in ceramic to remind each of us that there is hope.

The second, was that earnest desire springing forth to be more of a blessing to others by being that hope.

2021 is going to be my year of reflecting HOPE – doing and saying things that give HOPE – and being that HOPE for someone.

As my blessings jar starts to fill up in 2021, I am reminded of that HOPE and my role in being someone else’s blessing.

Be the HOPE-

Deidre

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A Clean Slate For The New Year!

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When you think about it, the first of January is merely the day after December the 31st. While what we do is written on a new calendar, there isn’t a big tumultuous change. It’s just the next day.

Yet, we do feel like it’s a new start. Time to wipe the slate clean and start over.

That’s a good thing. So, let’s do it.

If we desire success in projects where there once was frustration and failure, let’s see what we can do to check off more victories.

As you ponder a few goals for the New Year, is there a voice in the background saying, “But it’s sooo hard! It’s going to take sooo much will power every day!”

No matter your goal, there will be daily dedication, discipline, and commitment – but things can be done to assure success.

I’m all about making jobs easier. The less you have to fight doing things the hard way, the better the chance you will succeed.  

The less effort needed to sort through lost or misplaced tools or equipment for your task, the more energy you will have to accomplish it.

Fewer distractions in your immediate environment mean you can more easily focus on the task at hand.

A favorite author of mine, James Clear, recently put it this way:

The more disciplined your environment is,

the less disciplined you need to be.

Don’t swim upstream.

If your goal for the new year is to eat better and maybe lose weight, then why challenge your self-control at every turn when your kitchen and refrigerator are filled with sugary, starchy junk food? Why put yourself through that?

When looking for an evening snack, why make yourself have to pass up on the kettle corn, the double fudge sandwich cookies, or snack-sized pizza bites before you grab an apple? Those items shouldn’t even be in your house if you are serious about improving your diet.

Save using your limited will power energy by removing the tempting distractions.

Be your own best friend by controlling your environment.

You want to write a best seller? Make a dedicated area, free of distractions, and commit to a small chunk of time every day.

You want to craft more or take up artwork? Create an area where needed supplies are always at hand and design your masterpiece.

Make 2021 the year you achieve your goals easier by controlling your environment.

In making health easier-

Deidre

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And To All A Good Night

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Santa is getting ready to sail across the night sky. People are figuring out how to gather in safe numbers and in masks to celebrate their faith. Champagne is chilling as we anticipate a new year.But many are looking at an empty chair. Many are enduring mind-numbing isolation. Many are wondering how the rent will be paid.

Holidays have always been a challenge to mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.

This year? Well, you get the point.

My dear grandmother, long departed, used to share a story from her youth from the late 1800s. After enduring and surviving a house fire, her family of nine faced a Christmas with few possessions and no money for gifts. On Christmas morning, however, her father produced several packages to everyone’s wonder.

As her mother carefully unwrapped the first present, it was discovered that he had wrapped up the surviving pieces of silverware taken from the ashes of the fire.

Hard times. Desperate times. Times of survival and gratitude. Times of making do.

We are in such times. Times that require digging into the ashes to discover a blessing and to find gratitude.

May you find special moments with what’s left.

A walk or drive around town to see the holiday lights can bring back feelings of effervescent, child-like joy. Dropping off what you can spare to the local food bank can warm your heart like nothing else. Calling an old friend to check in, grows love and appreciation in everyone’s heart. Decorating a batch of holiday cookies to share can get creative ideas flowing again.

We at foodtalk4you.com encourage each and every one to check in with themselves.

How are you doing? Really? Is what you are facing this holiday season pressing in on you? Do you feel like you are in a deep hole of darkness with no apparent way out?

If you are having such troubles, please know 1) you are not alone, and 2) there IS a way out.

If you are on a precipice, please call 1-800-273-8255 right now. That’s the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. These folks are there for you 24/7 to give you an ear and will assist you in finding resources for getting on a steady path out of the darkness.

If you know that what you are feeling is stronger than your current ability to deal with it, your doctor is a phone call away from helping you, either medically or through a referral to counseling, where you can discover coping techniques.

May you discover the beauty, joy, and hope that is still there for each of us.

We look forward to offering our readers an improved format for recipes next year, and I will be releasing my free class about Caregiver Emotions online.

There’s much to anticipate in the coming year!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and a Happy New Year to all! Be safe in all you do.

Click the subscribe button to make sure you don’t miss a single post in 2021.

Somebody you know needs the help provided in my Toolkit for Caregivers HERE. This is a gift they will read and reread!

In health –

Deidre and Sheree

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Traditions In The Time of Covid

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So much has changed this year, and yet – I have more time than ever to slow down to do the small things that have slipped past my attention in recent years. Such as writing and sending Christmas cards and decorating holiday cookies.

Recent years have seen me sending out New Year’s cards. No time for Christmas cards. Too many rehearsals for three choirs, Advent preparations at church, community musical events, and parties to squeeze in.

Not this year.

The hustle and bustle are almost non-existent. Family traveling hundreds or thousands of miles for holiday activities will probably not happen – and rightly so, because we want to be alive to do it next year.

What to do, now?

Aside from watching the Hallmark channels 24/7 to replace the joy of gathering and preparing for family festivities, we can rekindle some traditional activities that have gone by the wayside.

Set up a card-sending station on a TV table in the living room.  Pen a brief note on a Christmas card during the commercials of the latest movie about saving the parade/store/wedding/tree lighting ceremony/family farm.

It’s been ten or more years since I’ve decorated cookies. Enough of living vicariously through the actors on TV! Today, I devoted several hours to baking a basic sugar cookie – converted to gluten free – and in painstakingly piped on eight different colors of icing! All made from scratch.

I had a blast dancing around the kitchen all day listening to non-stop holiday music and taking all the time I needed to create my sweet cookies – all 48 of them.

No rush at all. Take my time. Enjoy the moment.

It won’t be hard to find a home for my humble little creations, and I’ll save just a few to add a festive touch to my meals.

With depression on the rise from the effects of the COVID-19-related isolation on top of the holidays, we have a recipe for an unhealthy, sad time smack dab in the season of hope, peace, joy, and love.

What tradition can you reinstate?

Instead of casually stuffing a present into a gift bag, take the time to thoughtfully wrap it up. Make the bow yourself. Craft a gift card to attach with the recipient’s name.

If there are several people living in your home, how about bundling up to tour around the neighborhood to sing carols? How cool would it be to ring a neighbor’s doorbell and gift them with a song? You can serenade them through your masks while still being socially distant!

Spread the cheer – even if it’s to yourself. Flying solo has its problems, but we do not have to sink into a funk of despair if we can create and enjoy festive moments.

We can do this!

In health-

Deidre

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Rotate Me Out!

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Until you have been involved in moving or downsizing for yourself or a loved one, the cycle of stuff may not be at the top of your radar.

This is about my ninth time since 2000.

Mom out of – my teenage and college – home. Mom out of assisted living.

In-laws out of house. In-laws out of senior living apartment.

House-wide carpeting fiasco times three.

Basement flood from Hurricane Florence involving my stuff, our former video business’s stuff, mom’s stuff, and my in-laws’ stuff.

Lots of stuff.

And now, joyfully, an evisceration of the guest room and office to provide a more welcoming atmosphere for both adult children and spouse/significant others to visit.

No one sleeps on the floor!

Repaint. New window treatments. Install two queen-sized Murphy beds so I can enjoy the space when there is no company. Blessing my daughter all the way in thanks for getting this started for me!

Build it and they will come!

All good. Can’t wait until we can have our little family reunion – once travel and getting together is once again safe.

In the meantime, there’s STUFF all over my house. Stuff waiting to be put back IF it survives the purging process. Stuff hoping for a new niche so it can easily be found and utilized – especially in my soon-to-be christened craft room/sometimes guest room.

This is not a post about the wonders of Marie Kondo, a Japanese organizing consultant, and letting go of stuff. We all need to do that, for sure.

But what is becoming so abundantly clear to me is that I’ve spent a significant portion of my life chasing or pushing STUFF around. Not being a great or better person. Not doing good deeds to bring joy, laughter, and hope to a troubled soul. Not inspiring others to greatness.

No. I’ve been pushing around a mountain of STUFF. Gives new meaning to the image of Sisyphus and the Rock.

My hourglass of life is not as full as it used to be. How many more grains of my limited and unknown quantity of precious sand do I want to devote to STUFF?

Clearly, not much.

So, this is going to be a purge that will, hopefully, become a blessing to my kids so they won’t have to push my stuff around too much after I’m gone. There’s that loving preparedness and consideration again.

If you are in the throes of getting or wanting more STUFF – better STUFF – because the old STUFF wasn’t good enough… Think twice. If you get new STUFF, make sure to throw out/give away/sell the old STUFF before the new STUFF even darkens the door.

In terms of clothing, I try to give away two for every new one I bring in. We have all over-bought in the past or have overkept while waiting for the size to come back. Move on. Someone could really use that item of clothing right now. Give it a happy home that fits.

Here’s a cycle of stuff that may sound familiar:

Young children want stuff. When they get older, they want stuff for older kids, but the little kid stuff is still there. Then they get cool stuff when they are teens. Moving out to college, they take only the best recent stuff, leaving the old stuff with Mom and Dad.

Twenty-somethings get jobs and can afford entry-level adult stuff. Thirty-somethings can afford to get better stuff which is layered on top of the old stuff their young children get to use.

As the forty-somethings age, their children get stuff. When the kids move out, the parents get better stuff that will last.

Fifty-somethings tweak the stuff their college kids get and help start them on their path of independence with the better stuff they once had. Parents need the ultimate stuff – now.

In the meantime, the parents are gathering stuff their own parents had that joins the childhood stuff their kids grew up with.

In their sixties and seventies, parents are trying to downsize their stuff, but none of the kids want the china, silver, or furniture. What to do with all those framed pictures of young children? How about the baseball trophies?

In our eighties and nineties, we may lose our stuff or not recognize our stuff at all. Too soon, our kids get our stuff.

And so, it goes. The rotation of stuff.

I’m going to try to sort through my stuff as quickly as possible, recognizing that needing something “someday” does not mean I should keep it.

Create a craft/guest room functional for my needs and quickly converts to a restful space for company. Create an office/second guest room that will inspire my writing and speaking engagements designed to uplift and support others, and will easily convert to a restful and uncluttered space for company.

Life is about the experience, the journey, the LOVE … not the stuff.

In health,

Deidre

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It’s A Turkey And All the Fixin’s Kind Of Day – Ya’ll Come!

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This week brings about, not only one of the most traveled weeks of the year, but a holiday of which most of us look forward to every year – Thanksgiving. Of course, this year, 2020, has seen such changes in our daily living, working, and caring for others.

It’s been the year of seclusion, and masks – and social distancing, which seems to me to be this year’s new buzz word. I hadn’t been out to eat in I don’t know how long, at a restaurant that actually serves their patrons, until recently. Now, there is serious talk of possibly closing everything down again.

Is anyone listening?

But, there is one thing that no mask, no lockdown, or social distancing can take from us – each other.

Aside from all the brutal lockdowns, negative outcomes, or spreading virus, we have much to be thankful for. Our families, (even if we don’t agree with them), the turkey (although it may not think so), and then there’s the fact you’re still here to read this – and, if nothing else – our memories, which no one can ever take away.

I started wondering, just what did the Pilgrim’s think of their first Thanksgiving Day?

It all began in 1691 in Plymouth, Massachusetts, with Pilgrims sharing their appreciation for the land, and the indigenous people who taught them how to grow crops, how to work the land and survive the brutal winters. Their feast had a long list of foods including turkey, corn, and cranberries, which are still the mainstay of most of our Thanksgiving dinners today.

But, what about dessert?  Hmmm… Fast forward several hundred years later, in 1850, American poet and editor, John Greenleaf Whittier, penned a poem entitled, The Pumpkin, which is dedicated to the longstanding Thanksgiving topper, pumpkin pie.

The Pumpkin

Oh, greenly and fair in the lands of the sun,

The vines of the gourd and the rich melon run,

And the rock and the tree and the cottage enfold,

With broad leaves all greenness and blossoms all gold,

Like that which o’er Nineveh’s prophet once grew,

While he waited to know that his warning was true,

And longed for the storm-cloud, and listened in vain

For the rush of the whirlwind and red fire-rain.

On the banks of the Xenil the dark Spanish maiden

Comes up with the fruit of the tangled vine laden;

And the Creole of Cuba laughs out to behold

Through orange-leaves shining the broad spheres of gold;

Yet with dearer delight from his home in the North,

On the fields of his harvest the Yankee looks forth,

Where crook-necks are coiling and yellow fruit shines,

And the sun of September melts down on his vines.

Ah! on Thanksgiving day, when from East and from West,

From North and from South comes the pilgrim and guest;

When the gray-haired New Englander sees round his board

The old broken links of affection restored,

When the care-wearied man seeks his mother once more,

And the worn matron smiles where the girl smiled before,

What moistens the lip and what brightens the eye?

What calls back the past, like the rich Pumpkin pie?

Oh, fruit loved of boyhood! The old days recalling,

When wood-grapes were purpling and brown nuts were falling!

When wild, ugly faces we carved in its skin,

Glaring out through the dark with a candle within!

When we laughed round the corn-heap, with hearts all in tune,

Our chair a broad pumpkin, our lantern the moon,

Telling tales of the fairy who travelled like steam

In a pumpkin-shell coach, with two rats for her team!

Then thanks for thy present! none sweeter or better

E’er smoked from an oven or circled a platter!

Fairer hands never wrought at a pastry more fine,

Brighter eyes never watched o’er its baking, than thine!

And the prayer, which my mouth is too full to express,

Swells my heart that thy shadow may never be less,

That the days of thy lot may be lengthened below,

And the fame of thy worth like a pumpkin-vine grow,

And thy life be as sweet, and its last sunset sky

Golden-tinted and fair as thy own Pumpkin pie!

Deidre and I want to wish each and everyone of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope your table is filled with good food and good people.

May your burdens be light, and your face masks be tight!

Here’s to the turkey – clink!

Sheree

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Gratitude for the Now

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We keep hearing the only thing most people will be grateful for this year is that 2020 will soon be over.

They want to shake off the bad 2020 Karma. Too much insanity, fear, disease, death, overload. Weariness abounds. A period of Thanksgiving in 2020?

You’ve got to be kidding.

Thanksgiving used to be the pause before going full-throttle toward a joy-filled Christmas or Hanukkah and New Year’s.

This year, many folks have already put up their Christmas trees and it’s mid-November! Seems people are so eager for something hopeful, bright, and merry, they can’t wait. These are the same people who complain about stores stocking holiday decorations in September.

How quickly we change.

There’s hardly anything to be grateful for, we reason. Nothing is the same – or even close to it. Chances are, we are staying only with those in our four wall bubble for Thanksgiving.

spiteful little girl

Another disappointment?

Bring it on…we’re getting hardened to it.

Getting hardened to more bad news is a natural self-preservation response used to keep us from melting into a whimpering puddle.

But, as I point out in my Caregiver Emotions presentations, we are NOT our emotions. Emotions are meant to come and go. If we get so intrinsically wrapped up in our emotions, we run the risk of identifying with them.

Feel resentment too often; don’t process that resentment; don’t release that resentment – then you can become resentful and bitter.

Negative emotions need to be reigned in, examined, discussed, processed, and released.

Have there really been no blessings this year?

If you are reading this, there’s a big blessing right there – you are alive! Your eyes work! Your brain works! Your technology works!

No big vacation this year?

Remember about walking the local beach on a day trip with one friend?

No party for your birthday?

How about the blessing of those working in a local restaurant so you could get takeout?

Feeling disconnected from family? How about the incredible blessing of Facetime?

How about the miracle found in the technology of a Zoom call that keeps groups together and enables weddings to be totally safe by being virtual?

“GRATITUDE IS A HEART TENDERIZER”

That’s a quote from Sarah M. Wells in her 9 Examples of Thanksgiving in the Bible. There’s so much power in that statement.

How’s your gratitude jar looking? In my first post of this year – CLICK HERE. I shared with you how to start a gratitude jar. Did you stop putting in the little blessings you were grateful for after March 17th?

Or were you like me, finding the blessings that surround us each day?

If there ever was a time to tenderize our hearts, 2020 would be it. We need to liberally sprinkle around some gratitude in our lives. Not only will it improve our general outlook, but relationships and situations will improve.

May your favorite spice be gratitude.

Stir it into every situation and interaction. It will turn the hardened days into something more tender, savory, and palatable.

Happy Thanksgiving dear readers – YOU are a blessing to me!

Deidre

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Blogging for good health!, Stress Reduction

Happy Family Caregiver Month!

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Hear, ye! Hear, ye! Hear, ye!

November is declared to be Family Caregivers Month!

Glad they gave family caregivers more than just a single day. A month is nice. Family caregivers, though, merit an entire year of recognition – nonstop.

It was an extreme honor to be asked to speak at a beautiful retirement community in Eastern North Carolina recently. Treelined curving streets, lovely homes, and a beautiful community center located right on the marina greeted me. I think Cypress Landing checked all the boxes for a beautiful retirement lifestyle.

But tucked into countless of those homes are individuals lovingly ministering care to a beloved family member or who are in close contact with a friend nearby who may be alone.

I think we are ALL going to become caregivers at least once – it not many times – to various generations, relations, or friends. It’s just how life works.

My presentation was entitled, Caregiver Emotional Health and Survival, and covered three topics:

  • A key to caregiver survival called Loving Preparedness
  • Revealing Caregiver Emotions and tools to effectively deal with them
  • Caregiving at home – is it right for you?

With social distancing thoroughly observed, our limited audience of six community members all wore masks, as did the videographer and his helper. The event was taped using three cameras and promises to be a lasting resource for the community members through their website.

Yes, I’m waiting to hear from Oprah any day.

Wouldn’t she be able to give a wonderful platform for family caregiver’s voices and concerns?

I was impressed by several thoughts throughout the event:

  • Caregivers feel so much better when they understand they are not alone.
  • Being reaffirmed their efforts are exemplary is critical for their well-being.
  • Friends of caregivers are concerned about how to reach out in a meaningful way.
  • Advice from someone who has walked the path of caregiving is like a sip of cool water to parched lips.

Making a presentation about caregiver emotions as a permanent FREE offering on Teachable is my next project. Whether I use what was taped this week or recreate it on my own, it’s my passion project.

Why? Because it goes to the heart of the family caregiver. It was the unpredictable roller coaster of caregiver emotions that blindsided me and was the most challenging.

Challenging times aren’t the sole property of caregivers, however.

All the tips and tools I shared with the caregiver audience are applicable for all generations and situations right now.

One of those tools is the process of reflection. Reflective activities can be done two ways.

Direct reflection may include prayer, meditation, reading uplifting texts, or journaling. If you are in trying times, journaling can be transformative. Pouring out your thoughts on paper – yes, pen and ink on paper – not only allows for private venting but provides an opportunity to organize thoughts just through the process of writing. By the time you’ve completed dumping your thoughts out on paper, chances are good you’ll have a better perspective about them.

Indirect reflection can happen during creative activities. Some people bake, knit, work in the wood shop, or draw or paint. For me, adult coloring provided me a lifeline that was clean, easy-to-set-up, and was a therapeutic opportunity to work out my feelings.

While coloring, I wasn’t thinking about my emotions. I was thinking only about which color and how much to apply.

Where’s the therapy in that? Certainly, it gave my mind a rest in terms of worries and concerns. That’s a plus. But in so doing, subconsciously, I was sorting out my emotional response. It took me a year of coloring to get my head screwed on straighter.

I’ll make it easy for you. I already Googled free adult coloring pages and have found a resource you may like to find a picture you could color in the coming days – CLICK HERE.

Surely there are some colored pencils hanging around the house for the kids or grandkids.

Sit down.

Unplug from the noise.

Put color to the page.

Ahhhh.

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If you are a caregiver or think you or someone you know may become one, check out my book on Amazon HERE.

In health,

Deidre