Category Archives: Stress Reduction

Gone Fishin’

When we first moved to Eastern North Carolina in 1980 from California, there was some culture shock.

People, unknown to me, would give a friendly wave when passing by.

There was the whole southern drawl thing – which I adored and secretly tried to emulate for a time.

“Bless his heart” took on a new meaning.

I grew to love collards, okra, and assorted greens.

Barbeque did not mean sliced grilled beef with red sauce.

Iced tea came SWEET!

There was one other cultural phenomenon that irritated us at the time that is hardly ever seen anymore.

Namely, businesses shuttered their doors the first week or so of July. Period.

Gone fishin’.

Need a car part? Catch us sometime around the 8th.

How about plumbing supplies? Nope. Closed for the week.

If you needed an oil filter, a fitting for under the sink, or much anything else, you were simply out of luck.

In those days, folks in the area took their family vacation time and the Fourth of July very seriously, indeed.

We look back at those precious, seemingly backward and inefficient times while shaking our heads.

Maybe we shouldn’t.

This girl is going to hang out the “Gone fishin’” sign and skedaddle to Hot-Lanta to take in some family time, attend a Braves’ game, and watch some fireworks!

In health –

Deidre

Life Under the Parachute

The image remains clear in my mind today.

I was a videographer recording footage for a sales presentation for a company that runs long-term care facilities, for severe and profoundly handicapped children. The kids and their helpers were in a gymnasium, standing in a circle – and each one had a grip on the edge of a small parachute.

“Up!”

Their arms went to raise the parachute as they watched it billow into a dome, and then gradually float back down to the floor when they dropped their arms. Up and down. They laughed and giggled with delight.

Sometimes, a worker would take a child with them into the center of the parachute just as it was starting to billow. Then, before it deflated, they would rush back out! Such fun!

As a caregiver, I felt like that parachute had settled down on top of me and my loved one. We could not get out. There were no giggles.

We all experience situations when we feel like we are living under that deflated parachute with no way out.

There was a phase when I privately punched and railed at that parachute, as it limited – not only my physical space – but also my view of the future.

Punch. Punch. Punch.

Then I realized there was a choice to make.

I could keep fighting to get a beautiful open sky of possibilities above me, or I could look more intently at my new world – under the parachute – to discover the depth and wonders of what was at arm’s length.

Grab a magnifying glass and study the shape, size, texture and design of a leaf or a flower. There are worlds smaller than that under the surface you are studying!

Just because we are denied the vastness of a journey to … anywhere … does not mean there is not an equally large world available to us close by.

While the patisseries in Europe may miss seeing you this year, you can learn more about baking that luscious treat yourself at home.

If that hamster cage is getting smaller and smaller as you run your daily course, make sure to value and celebrate yourself – even during the briefest of respites.

Life, I believe, is a mind game from within that requires great control over our daily actions and responses.

Life under the parachute, especially, demands an awareness of possibilities and mindsets which, in turn, requires daily, hourly, or moment-by-moment resets in thinking – to avoid the slippery slope of despair.

When my thinking was right, I learned to stop punching, and began to stretch and move more gracefully under that parachute.

A quote by William James came my way today that may inspire you:

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of misfortune.”

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In health –

Deidre

Which Came First, The Chicken or The Egg?

Continuing Education requirements were beckoning me to ramp up my learning for the biennial renewal of my nursing license.

I am taking a deeper dive into topics I already like, (ex.: probiotics), and am gleaning some new information from other areas of interest.

The course about the frequency of depression among people with diabetes promised to offer something that could be of great value to foodtalk4you readers.

Did you know depression is the leading cause of disability in the world?

I learned that people with diabetes are 1.5 times more likely to also have depression. And yet, depression is only treated in about a third of those with diabetes.

Also, mothers in one study who had gestational diabetes, (diabetes symptoms showing only in pregnancy), had a twofold increase in post-partum depression than those without diabetes.

Back to the original question, which came first? Is there a link between depression and diabetes?

Well, we can’t answer that one today, BUT we can be on the lookout for signs of depression when diabetes is on board.

Why would that be important other than general quality of life?

The daily management of diabetes through self-care is jeopardized when depression is also present. Living a life with depression and diabetes is reflected in poorer outcomes, complications, and earlier death.

Can you see this added diagnosis in yourself, in a friend, or loved one?

A condition called diabetes distress is the emotional response to living with diabetes when the following are experienced:

  1. less than optimal self-management of diabetes
  2. elevated A1-C levels (blood level reflecting long-term blood glucose levels)
  3. more frequent episodes of severe, low blood sugar
  4. decreased quality of life

Those with diabetes and depression might experience:

  1. anxiety and guilt about their inability to self-manage their condition,
  2. fears about long-term effects,
  3. constant concerns about food and eating – all the while knowing daily ups and downs of blood glucose levels can generate feelings of fatigue and anxiety anyway.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a decline in successfully managing their diabetes and their quality of life is being affected, the health care provider should be alerted to the possibility of depression.

The good news is, there are so many therapies that can address depression. Some may be as simple as connecting with others socially, to prescriptions that will ease the symptoms and not aggravate diabetes.

Addressing what may be a hidden depression for someone with diabetes, could be a double blessing for them because their diabetes can be better controlled when their depression is controlled.

That’s a win-win.

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In health –

Deidre

Heal Thyself

How often do we read about some high-profile guru dispensing advice about … just about anything … who fails to follow their own suggestions and burns out in flames?

While I am not a high-profile guru to be sure, I do self-checks to verify that I am modeling my beliefs in balance, harmony, and all the aspects of self-care expressed here at foodtalk4you.

Lately, there have been too many spinning plates, and I have felt like a circus juggler trying to keep all those plates balanced on their poles.

Most of the, seemingly, high-priority projects have been of my own creation: writing and speaking deadlines, book relaunch deadlines, Garden Club, and other neighborhood obligations. Car problems just plopped into my lap, uninvited to boot.

Then there are the personal, family, and dear friend concerns and events that are most important of all.

I paused the other day when given another choice to maintain an obligation over the summer or to step back.

This was a seminal moment, and with a great sense of power for my self-care, I said, “No.”

So it is, dear readers, I am keeping my message this week brief.

My thirteen-month-old grandson naps upstairs, while we enjoy an amazing and rare, full-family visit for two weeks.

I am choosing family above all this week.

There are pressing issues and deadlines that will gradually be tackled in these next two weeks; but I think it a worthy, albeit short, message to share with you the need for life balance is critical.

Are you on a precipice? Do you feel yourself nearing a ‘splat?’

Our undone projects would probably go on if we dropped dead. Why do we need to die to take a break?

Maybe we cannot take an extended leave, but a mental health day/morning/hour to reset can do us all a world of good.

Next week, I hope to share some very exciting news! Until then, breathe and choose what is the most important of all for you.

In health –

Deidre

Happy Hour!

A listener to my webinar, Unique Tips for Family Caregivers That Will Amaze You, recently confided in me that my tip to, “bring the party home,” in a caregiving setting – imparted a special message to her even though she was not currently a caregiver.

She and her husband both work; and apparently, they have been morphing from working, to doing their evening time routine without any fanfare. No pause. No exchange of thoughts.

When she heard me describe how happy hour was such a lifeline to both me and my loved one, and how it gradually changed over time but was always maintained, she got to thinking about her own life.

That very night, she asked her husband to stop what he was doing so they could sit on the front porch together for just a few minutes. To pause. To reflect on their day.

Ten minutes.

No alcohol.

Soda and iced tea.

They got out of their respective work selves to just be them. Together. Having a moment.

She practically had tears in her eyes as she related to me how this simple idea – although golden for caregivers – transformed their evening and blessed their relationship as well – and is really a golden idea for everyone.

So, remember happy hour – every night.

Alone? Call a friend over.

Want to socialize a bit extra? Call some more friends over.

Fancy charcuterie trays are optional. A bowl of gluten-free pretzels will do nicely.

Also optional is alcohol. Hot or cold coffee, tea is great, or try sparkling water with a splash of fruit juice.

Want to be alone tonight? Find a special spot to relax, reflect, and to tie up the busy day before jumping into dinner prep.

No cell phones.

Just sayin’.

In health –

Deidre

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May Thoughts

Thoughts?

Maybe ‘random thoughts’ would be more appropriate.

My mind is wandering in several directions about things I want to share with you.

First, I hope everyone was able to enjoy beautiful moments this past weekend as Mother’s Day was celebrated in the United States. Whether in a shared event together, or in a precious memory of your own mother or mother-figure in your life, I hope you were able to honor that mothering influence.

Second, because of a great conversation with my dental hygienist recently, I am re-reading Breath – The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor.

In 2021, I wrote two posts about breathing, HERE and HERE, because his message was life changing in its simplicity and in its depth.

“What do you mean?” you ask. “How hard is it to breathe?”

Whether you are a new or old subscriber to foodtalk4you, I urge you to read those two posts. I also hope you will be intrigued enough to purchase and dive into his book.

My hygienist understands the very tight connectivity of all the elements that affect our health, and we both agreed that those connections are probably even tighter than we had imagined.

To wit – could my reflux be tied to other issues in the GI tract, and is it causing the need for throat clearing at night, and could that all be due to breathing abnormalities while asleep?

Oh, my. So many questions.

But I do know to look inward for most of my cures – both from exploring my mindset and in exploring my actions in eating, moving, and living.

A couple of months ago, I was relieved to hear that I could safely take my antacid twice a day. Man! That second dose around 5 pm really helped with late evening reflux – for a while.

After that conversation with my hygienist, a switch flipped in my brain. Our stomach is supposed to maintain an acidic environment.

What was I doing while trying to neutralize everything?

What was that doing to the rest of my GI system? The balance in my small intestine – home to my microbiome – would surely be affected.

And how about the quality of my sleep? While not a mouth breather, maybe I was just not taking in enough air because of my poorly constructed nasal passages.

Should I resume wearing a nose strip to keep my nostrils more open?

Hey, I stopped using those nose strips a couple of years ago … just when that reflux started to ramp up!

In truth, I cut my nose strips into three strips because that was enough to do the job.

That very day, I had a different mindset. Following the creed that ‘we are designed for health,’ I rooted around to figure out what action I was doing impeding my health.

So, I resumed my nightly nose strip ritual and have not taken a single antacid since.

Continuing to closely monitor normal dietary reflux triggers – spicy foods, bending over too soon after eating, and excessive alcohol – I am feeling I am on the road to straightening out some health issues.

My message to all is, how we breathe makes an enormous difference in health matters that may seem far removed from the nose.

If you or someone you know is frequently clearing their throat, there is a strong likelihood there may be a reflux issue involved. There may also be inhibited breathing.

Maybe a sleep study will be needed for some people if the recommendations in Breath do not help, but it’s worth checking out, getting informed, and following up.

It’s a beautiful day to breathe freely and clearly. As always, sharing this post is easy using the options under the MORE button below.

In health –

Deidre

It Happens Every Day

There are so many ways we become caregivers for our loved ones. Each pathway carries with it unique challenges family caregivers must hurdle.

An everyday walk in the park with grandma can turn into a fall that results in a potentially life -changing broken bone. Suddenly, there is an ambulance, surgery, and, hopefully, recovery and a successful rehab.

Other families are dealing with the cumulative effects of a long decline.

Whatever the path or circumstance, people all over the globe are becoming caregivers to loved ones. Even those who consider themselves prepared, find themselves at the base of a very steep learning curve.

Recognizing that most family caregivers do not have the luxury of time to leisurely figure things out, I have continued with my efforts to effectively flatten that learning curve – both in my books, and at various speaking engagements.

With a mantra, “No one should have to reinvent the wheel,” tucked into my heart, I shared “Unique Tips for Family Caregivers That Will Amaze You,” to save others the struggle of solo learning. This fifty-five-minute program hosted by Minerva Villarreal and facilitated by Evalyn Greb, is a part of the outreach program by the WellMed Charitable Foundation. 

Another program they do to support caregiver needs is their shorter, “Caregiver SOS On Air” podcast. I will be doing a return visit on June 25th to this great podcast.

HERE is the link to my first Caregiver SOS On Air podcast on December 19, 2024. Scroll to the bottom of their page to find it, but also check out the other titles to see what a rich resource they provide caregivers.

While no longer a caregiver, I am always on the lookout for any resource that could help others, and I have found Family Caregivers Support Group on Facebook to provide an excellent venue for caregivers to connect and support each other.

In the steady stream of postings, I not only see the despair and self-sacrifice of overwhelmed caregivers – but also an abundance of love, understanding, and great wisdom from others readily, lending their support and ideas.

Not a caregiver?

That’s great, but I bet you know one.

Did you ever tell them, “Call me if you need anything?”

We’ve all probably said that. When they don’t call, we think everything must be okay.

Meh.

That’s probably not the case.

Often, caregivers don’t know what they need. They probably are not used to asking for help or being on the receiving end of a kind gesture.

In my recent webinar, I was advising others that being a caregiver could mean all kinds of tasks, and what those who would like to help them could do:

  • Decorate their loved one’s room with simple seasonal decorations.
  • Put up a birdfeeder for their loved one to watch, and keep it refilled.
  • Either take them out for a coffee or offer to stop by and bring the coffee and a treat.
  • Offer to stay with their loved for a few hours one so they can go for a walk or run errands.
  • Just stop by and sit with them. No special conversation is needed.
  • Maybe pray with them.

Sometimes, the caregivers are a little hesitant to reach out with requests. I encourage them to do so, but those of us on the outside might need to be more proactive in doing something seemingly small, but which becomes giant-sized because of its loving consideration.

We’re all in this together!

In health –

Deidre

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Who’s Sleeping?

“How do I go to sleep, Mommy?”

Apparently, my childhood inquiry is just as valid today.

“How do I go to sleep?”

My mom said, “just close eyes and be still.”

Well, a lot of help that gave me.

I can still hear her saying, “close eyes,” as she left my room at night. My little eyes popped open as soon as she closed the door.

But think about it: the steps are to get into bed, close my eyes, and be still.

Mom got me into bed; now, I am responsible for that.

How about you? Binge-watching just one more show? Reading just one more story on your phone?

Many of us have not absorbed the message that sleep is a priority or how to get to sleep, it seems, because an article this week shared graph after graph of evidence showing that Americans are getting even less sleep than ever.

And it’s mostly the women who are faring the worst in each comparison.

Stress is being cited as the culprit, and that’s easy to see, but the effects of a lack of sleep must be seen as major contributors to the stress levels being felt.

What’s the purpose of sleep, anyway?

Let’s summarize:

Tissue repair and healing – in ways we can see externally, and moreover, in ways we cannot see internally. Daily life creates a lot of wear and tear on our bodies and minds – it takes 7-9 hours of sleep to clean up, mend, renew, and heal.

Regulation of body processes – especially seen with hormones, the hours of sleep allow the body to have time to reset back to normal levels. When hormones are regulated, body systems function smoothly.

Brain function – we’ve all experienced sleep-deprived fuzzy-brain feel from time to time. Looks like most of the country is having a rough time of right thinking. Just watch the nightly news. Memory function and clear thinking are contingent upon consistently getting enough sleep.

Normalizing blood sugar levels – in addition to right eating, blood sugar levels are greatly affected by our getting regular adequate rest.

Weight management – another part of that hormone regulation mentioned above is the role of appetite suppressing and appetite stimulating hormones that can get unbalanced when there is not enough sleep time.

Stress reduction – did you have a stressful day? Not getting enough sleep causes even more stress hormones to be released. This creates a textbook example of a vicious cycle.

Reduce inflammation – here’s my favorite topic. Remember, all diseases have some major causative factor rooted in inflammation. Sleep helps to regulate some of the factors that would cause inflammation.

Is it a coincidence that along with inadequate sleep, we are seeing an uptick in obesity, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, and more?

There is no one answer or approach to solving the tsunami of sleep deprivation being experienced across the country – and probably the world.  But making a difference in our singular lives, doing one thing less every night that’s keeping us from going to bed in a timely fashion would help.

Now, close eyes.

In health –

Deidre

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The Potion is Motion

Are you a note taker?

I take notes when listening to speeches all the time – there’s always some new idea I want to remember or refer to again. Note pads and notebooks abound at home.

It’s like I can’t listen without taking notes – the same way some people can’t talk without using their hands. (Oops, I may do that, too!)

While rummaging through my desk drawer in search of …  a notepad – what else? I rediscovered some old scribbles I have referred to several times:

The more emotion you are in, the more motion you should be in.

Wish I could give credit to the lady speaking to our group back then, but her name was not in my notes. She shared with us how stress hormones directly affect our physical health, and how we could counteract natural reaction through movement.

Her introduction to the connection between stress and physical disease was, “the more signs and symptoms we have of stress, the more we need to do something different.”

What are your signs of a stress reaction?

For many, ground zero may be the stomach:

The stomach is one of the most common places people hold stress. Stress in the abdomen/stomach usually manifests itself in maldigestion, changes in appetite, and even stomach pain. If you’re someone who tends to resist change or feels like you don’t have power over their life, you might hold stress in your stomach.

Our speaker described the stress hormones we release as, “getting caught in the body, wrapping around internal organs … and killing us.”

Now, there’s a graphic image to remember.

Then she crystalized the knowledge that exercise increases the production of our feel-good transmitters, called endorphins, by saying that getting our bodies in, “a new motion would result in a new emotion.”

Today’s simple reminder is to:

Use our “magic potion”

of getting our bodies in motion

to create better emotions

that will slay that thing wrapped around our innards.

—————————

In health and still doing planks and wall sits –

Deidre

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April – The Month For Isometric Exercises!

Are you up for an April challenge?

Grab a wall and sit down.

I’m committed to revisiting an old friend that’s been neglected – the plank trifecta – and to embrace an isometric exercise I’ve never done consistently before – the wall squat, or wall sit, if you prefer – because that’s what it looks like.

If you are a long-time reader, you know my passion for planks – they have done me well over the years and have proven to be transformative to tighten my core. And yet, I have allowed planks to fall by the wayside from my daily routine.

A great way to start a habit/routine is to incorporate it into another one that is already established – like I do every morning with arm exercises while using my pour-over method to brew coffee, (explained in a recent post, February 27th).

The coffee making process is firmly established. All I had to do was tweak it a bit to give my biceps and shoulders a great workout.  

It’s been just a few weeks, but I can feel the difference; and my non-dominate arm is now much stronger than when I started.

So, to successfully start a new habit, I have added a simple sticky note in view of my office desk, that reminds me to do my planks and wall sit before I get deeply involved in daily writing projects.

I can report that today’s initial return to planks was quite acceptable: thirty seconds each of straight arm, forearm, and knee planks. Beginners may start with as little as fifteen seconds of the easier knee plank, and gradually lengthen time before adding another position.

What a workout! After only a minute and a half, I experienced a more rapid heartbeat and shaky muscles. Awesome!

Please check with your health care provider before starting any kind of new exercise, and if pain is experienced at any time, stop exercising.

A review of plank techniques may be found HERE.

That smooth surface on the Murphy bed in my office is the perfect place to do my wall sits.

Somehow, the idea of using a painted wall to scooch down into the wall sit position didn’t seem proper to me – I mean, what if my back were to sweat or the color of my clothes were to mar the paint?

Now, the perfect set-up is staring at me every day. No excuses.

If you are not used to the wall sit – and I am not – it can be a bit of a challenge. I eked out 30 seconds today, and my thighs were definitely talking to me.

And that’s okay.

Eventually, I will do my first set of three, thirty-second wall sits.

In time.

A review of the wall sit exercise may be found HERE.

Planks and wall sits are called isometric exercises, and they can be an important part of our regular routine for strengthening core muscles and increasing joint stability.

Isometric exercises produce no movement – muscles are held in a certain position which creates muscle fatigue, but is less challenging to the joints than regular exercises.

Here are five benefits to incorporating isometric exercises:

They help us get in shape without a high intensity workout and are a good start for an exercise program.

Isometric exercises help maintain muscle and joint strength.

Wall squats, especially, have been shown to lower blood pressure.

Rehabilitation after injury or surgery is helped with isometric exercise.

Those with osteoarthritis can build strength and increase range of motion doing isometric exercise as a warm-up to traditional exercise.

The Cleveland Clinic has a great summary about isometric exercise and offers additional exercises to try out HERE.

For now, planks and wall sits are my April challenge. How about you?

In health –

Deidre

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