Like a skilled acrobatics artist walking a tightrope over the heights, we are called to maintain balance in every aspect of our lives.
Work, play, learning, doing, time outdoors, time indoors, family, friends, cooking, cleaning, gardening, focus on goals, focus on being free from any agendas, concentrating on self, doing things for others, etc.
I could type examples forever.
How do you maintain a sense of balance?
With the continual evolving nature of our lives I mentioned last week, the balance we achieve one day may not fit the next one.
The season of festivals and holidays is upon us, and I noticed I had been spending more time this year writing; and I had become transfixed on getting Toolkit for Caregivers freshened up and relaunched to the exclusion of nurturing my other passions, pastimes, and time devoted to friendships.
Imbalance seldom works over the long haul.
Sure, we can, figuratively, stand on our heads briefly, but for an extended period? Not so much.
My sense of imbalance was causing an inner pinch that became uncomfortable and demanded adjusting.
So, here I am, covered in glittery holiday ornament fallout, and having a ball. I am doing advanced prep-work for our neighborhood’s Second Annual Holiday Home Tour, and my house is on the tour!
Will I meet my self-imposed publishing deadline? Not sure.
Am I going to punctuate my days with more time doing the crafty things that provide creative release and joy? You bet.
Will there be more time each week with friends? Absolutely.
Is writing and making final edits being abandoned? Not at all. I am just allowing myself to move through my days on a longer leash – and it feels good.
May I encourage everyone to go ahead and rebalance your inner-self, which could be uncomfortable with the status quo?
That rebalance will work for as long as it’s meant to work.
May we all mindfully listen to what our spirits are telling us and respond accordingly.
There are letters to the editor. Kids write letters to Santa. We sometimes write letters to our elected officials. We anticipate letters of acceptance. We would like to forget those dreaded Dear John letters.
Much of this correspondence has been translated to texts, tweets, and emails — so much so, when we see a real written note or letter in our mailbox, we are thrilled.
Unless your name is John.
What if we were to pull out a piece of paper, and pen a letter to our younger selves?
Surely, we have gained wisdom, perspective, and experience enough to counsel our younger selves at a time when a comforting word of encouragement would have done us a world of good.
What would our advice look like?
You are enough.
Be easier on yourself.
Look up and breathe.
Relax.
You are strong enough, smart enough, and kind enough to make a difference.
This world needs you.
You are discovering wonderful things about yourself, and that will never stop.
For as long as you live, you will build upon your strengths and abilities.
When things get rough, remember who you are.
Do good.
Search for the easiest, small task you can do to move closer to your goals, and then keep doing that every single day.
Always fill your mind with gratitude for the blessings in your life, both great and small.
Of course, our younger selves cannot read that note just written, full of encouragement and hope. Would we have benefitted from such a note?
I think so.
Therefore, what could we write about to our present selves? We still have cares and concerns; projects can overwhelm; relationships hit snags; and we can still lose our way sometimes.
The same way we might have regarded that unsure little child in our first letter, let’s regard ourselves today, with an equal measure of love, patience, and understanding.
Like that child, we are breaking new ground every day. We’ve never been this old before. Everything is new.
The world is constantly changing, our bodies are changing, there are new ways of doing things, and we still need words of encouragement.
As we figuratively write that letter to ourselves, or as we visualize sitting on a park bench with ourselves, may our counsel be helpful.
May we realize that those around us need our uplifting words of hope and inspiration as well.
In practicing kindness to ourselves first, we can more easily be kind to others.
We claim to not like change. Yet, when it comes to the changing seasons – well, we just can’t wait. As soon as we are entrenched in one season, we seem to be mentally inching toward the next one.
Spring. Who does not love to see the new life springing forth at every turn? Sneeze. And we really want to wear shorts and go to the pool – so summer temperatures would be nice.
Summer. Ahhh. School’s out. Vacations. Beach. Grilling. Darn – it’s too hot! A little drop in the temperature would be great.
Fall. Bingo! I feel new!
Amid the kaleidoscope of changing fall colors, I feel reborn.
Clean slate.
New beginnings.
Do these primordial feelings hail from years as a student and teacher – starting the new school year each fall? Or were my ancestors Jewish, celebrating Rosh Hashanah? Happy Jewish New Year, folks!
Whatever the origins – I’m cleaning house and starting afresh each fall.
Literally – cleaning the house. Deep cleaning. It’s so clean that spring cleaning won’t even be needed! Ha! I could wish.
My muscles alternate between singing and screaming from all the squats, jumps, lifts, stretches, and everything else they have been required to do this week. Ugh. But I feel SO GOOD!
And I need your help. To make foodtalk4you as relevant as possible, I’d like to ask for your input.
What are your areas of need or interest?
Are you seeking inspiration for healthier options in fall recipes?
Breakfast choices?
Desserts?
Soups?
Thanksgiving?
2. Need some help with stress reduction or relaxation techniques?
Five minute reset?
Mental escapes?
How to get better sleep?
3. Looking for ways to ramp up the fiber in your diet?
4. Do you have questions about incorporating more variety, nutrition, or anti-inflammatory foods into your diet?
Please drop a line in the comment section so I can tailor the posts this fall to your needs. I greatly appreciate your response – we want each post in foodtalk4you meet you where you are.
Ahhh. Nothing better than curling up with a cup of tea and a good book that promises to send me on a journey through time and landscapes!
It’s been a while since I’ve allowed myself the luxury of getting lost in a story – especially in an historical fiction story that edifies and entertains. It’s one of my favorite genres.
While reading this sweeping tale set in Ukraine, I was just beginning to hear the latest rumblings of renewed tensions between Russia and Ukraine, which then came to a dramatic head with Russia’s invasion in February, 2022.
Chills ran down my spine as aspects from this work of fiction, born from history, began to be replayed in the current day headlines right in front of my eyes on the screen. The terror of approaching takeovers and destruction does not change over time. Confusion, misery, and the strength of the human spirit are timeless.
The scene had been set in the first book, and now the central figures in the historical drama now flee for their lives. The following is a quote from a recent review:
“The novel weaves together two parallel narratives, one following Katarina and her sister’s harrowing journey through the lawless steppes and the other focusing on Peter’s search for answers in the aftermath of his mother’s death. The story’s inception lies in Peter’s determination to unravel the mysteries surrounding his parents’ deaths and the whereabouts of Jacob. This pursuit leads him down the path of transcribing Katarina’s diaries, a task that proves more challenging and emotionally taxing than he could have ever imagined. As Peter delves deeper into the enigmatic diaries, the lines between reality and illusion blur, leaving him frustrated, confused, and searching for more answers to fill in the missing clue.
Katarina’s Dark Journey by MJ Krause-Chivers is a powerful and haunting exploration of survival, faith, and the unyielding human spirit set against the backdrop of war-torn Ukraine in 1918 and post-war Munich. The story’s strength lies in its vivid portrayal of the character’s struggles and the rapidly changing political landscape of the time. The historical descriptions provided in this book are both enlightening and essential. It immerses readers in the Russian Civil War, offering a nuanced understanding of the political turmoil that swept through Ukraine during this era. This serves as a poignant reminder of the turbulent journey Ukraine endured on its path to independence. Readers are sure to be captivated by the character’s struggles and the vivid portrayal of a pivotal period in Ukraine’s past.”
Both of MJ Krause-Chivers’ books are currently priced at $.99 as Kindle books. Each title is stand alone but reading them together to catch the full sweep of the story would illuminate, edify, and entertain. You will not be disappointed.
Now, where’s my tea?
In health which includes leisure reading –
Deidre
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ADDENDUM:
As a follow-up to last week’s post about nasal washes, please note what a reader just shared with me and please do not make the same mistake. Distilled water or water that has boiled for several minutes should be the only water options used – never tap water.
A reader just shared this with me:
“I’ve used Neil Med Sinus Rinse for years. It’s fantastic. I talked my husband into using it. He did for awhile, then he got a nasty sinus infection that he can’t get rid of. I discovered he’d used tap water. Now he won’t rinse at all but keeps running to the doctor for antibiotics or uses allergy pills. I warned him about using tap water but he rarely listens to me. I believe it’s important to remind people not to use tap water.“
Just rub the sides of this container and a genie will emerge in a vapor, ready to grant me three wishes. Oh, boy!
All I really want right now is to 1) breathe better, 2) avoid the stage of this sinus infection where I wish there were microscopic sticks of dynamite I could use to break up the congestion and pressure behind my forehead, nose, and eyes, and 3) get along with life.
My daughter, long the naturopath in her approach to maintaining health, led the parade on this one, and my son was next – much to my surprise – because of his selectively squeamish nature. Now, I have finally joined the band wagon.
Doing what?
Using a neti pot to rinse my nasal passages.
I mean, pouring salt water into one nostril, in anticipation of it draining out the other, just goes against my instincts to avoid drowning, you know?
“The practice of irrigating the nasal passages with water has been around for approximately 5,000 years with its origins South Asian culture, within the practice of Ayurveda, an ancient practice of yoga. These Yoga Masters called the sinus cleansing technique, “Jala Neti,” and it exists as one of the six main practices in cleansing the body to prepare for the higher practices of yoga.”
While the idea of nasal rinsing was first introduced to Western medicine in the early 1900’s, mass marketing of devices did not happen until the early 1970’s.
An uptick in the interest of using neti pots started in the 1990’s, when there was an increased awareness that overusing antibiotics resulted in antibiotic resistance, and people became more proactive in seeking alternative therapies for sinus issues.
I sure didn’t want to start a round of gut-microbiome-stripping antibiotics if I could help it, so with my daughter’s tutelage, I leaned over the sink, tilted my head just so, and experienced the wonders of neti pot nasal cleansing.
There are a few things to keep in mind:
Always use either distilled water or water that has previously been boiled for a few minutes. Why not use tap water? Tap – and even filtered water – can harbor traces of bacteria and microbes that, while safe to drink thanks to the action of the acidic environment of our stomachs, are not killed when poured into our nasal passages.
There have been rare cases of wicked infections being caused by using unboiled tap water. Yikes!
Thoroughly clean the neti pot after each use, and especially sanitize if sharing one – or even better, get them one for their own use.
Use water warm enough to dissolve the salt, but make sure it has cooled enough after mixing to be comfortable inside your nose.
You can read more about these sensible precautions at Medical News Today.
This was so easy for me to use. The learning curve is quite low, and I can happily report that I am recovering from my sinus condition without having had to use antibiotics!
Twice-a-day use was sufficient during the acute phase. Many people recommend continuing with regular weekly use. I’m not sure if I will be doing that or not; but certainly, my darling neti pot will be put to good use – especially in allergy season.
That’s a pun, really. Because that’s what I want to mention today – the power of a single thought.
As the sands of time are running out on my four-week stay in Kona, Hawaii, I have once again, personally, experienced the power of ONE thought within my brain – never uttered – upon another human.
I have seen the power of one emotion within myself, expressed by facial animation – create a reaction on a slumbering individual; then reflected back, in a startled response from across the room.
Smoke and mirrors?
No.
Let me set the stage.
I’ve been blessed with being grandma-on-duty this August to help my daughter transition back to work, part-time, since the birth of her beautiful baby boy. Both grandmas are taking turns in helping these first two months of her return to work, until more permanent care can be arranged.
I’ve shared with you before, how to set yourselves up for a positive start each day, by reading aloud our positive affirmation/identity statement. It works. I know it has transformed my mindset and has created positive outcomes I had only hoped for before. Whenever I neglect doing this, things do not go as smoothly.
Okay. Here’s the thing. Perhaps you have experienced this.
As I hold my totally relaxed and sleeping grandson on my chest, appreciating the sights and sounds of Hawaii from the comfort of the lanai, an area of personal concern over an unresolved issue crosses my mind and I start to ruminate – churning the scenario over and over in my head.
What happens? Instantly, the baby startles and becomes restless.
Not once. But over and over. Different days. Different circumstances. Different concerns.
Even more innocently, holding my sleeping grandson and trying to while away the time by scrolling through my phone – one handed – can often result in his becoming restless.
Or my daughter, holding her peaceful son calmly, whispers some news to me and, from across the room, I respond with a silent startle and facial expression.
What does the baby do? Yup. Full body startle.
There are a couple of takeaways from this.
1 – Thoughts are THINGS. What are we sending out to the world? Missiles? Barbs? Frustrations? Or soft pillows of love, forgiveness, hope, redemption, with a release of irritations along with a blessing?
2 – We need to be fully present. Babies – even sleeping ones – need our full attention. Pouring all the love I can into my grandson is equipping him for life. Foundations are being laid that he’ll never realize how it got there; but as we shower him with these THINGS that our thoughts are, we are helping him far into the future.
And my takeaway from the takeaways? We all are just like babies.
In health –
Deidre
NOTE: First and last pictures are from Kona, Hawaii. Couldn’t resist including both of them for us island lovers! – Sheree
Don’t you love it when someone shares a book title with you, thinking you may love it as well? I am much more motivated to get a book based upon personal testimony. And what if you get to meet the author himself to get an inside glimpse of why he wrote it?
This DBT term was new to me. Most of us have heard about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and if you have attended a therapy session, chances are it was based on the precepts of CBT, which focuses on changing problematic thinking. Among other things, this newer therapy, DBT, is best known for its success with eating disorders.
After reading the sample, I was sold on purchasing this helpful guide. Our philosophies of starting with how we think about ourselves and how we perceive our circumstances were perfectly aligned. Was I a proponent of DBT without knowing it?
There was something else that lit up memories in my mind as I read about his approach to achieving a healthier lifestyle – it reminded me of Noom.
I used Noom a few years ago as an accountability buddy for losing the weight I had gained as a caregiver – even those who write about health sometimes need a helping hand. Many of my approaches and exercises felt familiar and brought back the sense of calm control I had over my eating through my previous training.
One thing I did not have with Noom, was a workbook. I love having a workbook component to my learning, and Barrett Huang’s latest book checks off all the boxes for building personal skills and mindsets.
He reveals his approach to weight loss and overall health through telling his own story and progresses to the evolution of his successful methods. I could see the familiar patterns with his weight loss struggle, reflected in so many people I know or have met.
So inspired by his workbook, I reached out to Barrett Huang, and he quickly accepted my invitation to share a little bit extra with foodtalk4you readers. He writes:
“I like that Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) focuses on accepting your thoughts, feelings, and actions while also striving to improve them. Many therapies tend to place excessive emphasis on fixing issues rather than taking a step back and accepting things as they are.
DBT can be applied to various aspects beyond just emotional eating, including anxiety, depression, and BPD, to name a few. Emotional eating often serves as a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable emotions.
Some of the skills DBT teaches include:
Mindfulness: This helps you develop greater mindfulness and presence in the moment. You learn to appreciate the things you have and avoid getting caught in a cycle of overthinking.
Distress tolerance: You learn effective ways to cope with uncomfortable emotions and situations without resorting to impulsive behaviors that could be harmful.
Emotion Regulation: This skill focuses on understanding and managing your emotions more effectively. You learn how to label and handle your emotions, identify triggers, and employ coping techniques.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: A significant aspect, this skill helps you enhance your communication and relationship-building abilities. It involves expressing your boundaries, feelings, thoughts and needs to others.
Hence, DBT offers a balanced approach by addressing both acceptance and change, rather than focusing solely on one aspect. Additionally, I find DBT to be highly adaptable and capable of being tailored to various situations. Ultimately, you acquire the tools to become a more resilient and adaptable individual, capable of navigating life’s challenges.
I aimed to create a DBT workbook that is not only easy to follow and implement but also interactive. This workbook is crafted with personal stories and practical worksheets and exercises. Its approach is designed to assist readers in transforming their relationship with food for the better. Drawing from impactful personal anecdotes and incorporating well-established DBT lessons for emotional well-being and stress management, this workbook provides the tools needed to embark on a journey of lasting change.”
If this sounds like something that would help you or someone you know, please check out his book using the links provided. You can discover more about Barrett Huang and his many other books, mostly aimed at helping children and adults using DBT, by going to his website.
In health –
Deidre
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Recency is the bedrock for remembering – that which is recent, is easiest to remember.
Amit Sood’s uplifting post, Resilient Option, got me to thinking. He used the word ‘recency’ in teaching his lesson aimed at building personal resilience. In his Day 24 insight for Week 4, he reminds listeners that trees don’t grow deep roots during the storm.
We must concentrate on building ourselves up each day – not just when we might need the results.
He cited studies proving that students who employed daily reminders of personal values, reflected honesty in their behaviors better than a group of students who completed an intensive course on integrity a few months ago.
To start a daily habit of building positivity and resilience, he recommended journaling about three core values in our personal and professional lives. Brilliant! This concept ties into my post for June 20, 2023, (<click), in which I introduce the concept of reading a personal intention statement at the start of each day.
This daily practice has been a game changer for me – augmenting every good mindset I give myself. Maybe some of the ideas in my intention statement are not 100% fulfilled, but I BELIEVE them all, and I see how each intention is coming into focus more and more.
Maybe we have not made up with someone over a recent disagreement; but saying, “I seek peace with everyone I am blessed to meet,” is just the message needed to move us toward harmony with other people.
Our mind believes what we tell it!
Perhaps we struggle with eating food that is not healthful, but a daily reminder that, “I am grateful for my life and health. I am learning how to honor my body by eating the kind of food that helps it,” will nudge us toward food that gets us to that goal.
To assist you in either journaling about your core values or in creating that daily reminder through a spoken intention, we are including a handy download of Core Values that can be the springboard for your self-nourishing message.
Whew! Another year going around the sun! Another double birthday when my daughter, who is my birthday twin, and I get to celebrate together again this year! Which means that when you read this, I will have returned to paradise – absorbing the sights and sounds of the rhythm of life in Kona, Hawaii!
We have vowed to not exchange gifts on our birthday – the gift of being together is enough. We will, instead, revel in just being in the same space and being able to celebrate all that has transpired this past year and anticipate the adventures that are lining up for each of us.
Exciting times – and yet, also a time to give pause as I think about birthday wishes. What do I wish for?
BALANCE
I’ve recently been reminded to balance my energies each day by moderating my commitment levels. Consistently participating in creative projects always renews my strength for more physical and mental endeavors. Satisfying the need for creativity – apart from my writing – is essential.
Pausing a few hours over this past weekend to participate in a class to paint a Four Seasons Tree, proved to be delightfully absorbing. The experience was added proof, my advice in the Caregiver Books Series is true: Creative pastimes can wipe all concerns away. Whether it’s five minutes or fifty, finding an activity that takes all our concentration can be a balm to the spirit.
Have you lost some of that balance in your life? It can look different for each of us.
Some people need to balance their dreaming and hoping with action. There’s only one thing that gets a job done, and it’s not thinking about it.
Sure, a wise person always plans their actions; but nothing is accomplished if that first step isn’t taken. What’s the easiest, smallest step you can take right now to make that plan a reality?
Some _____ (fill in the blank with parents, employees, caregivers, etc.) need to balance their commitment to their _____ (fill in the blank with job, activities, loved ones, etc.) with an equally important commitment to themselves. They cannot fulfill their desire to help one another or be there if they, themselves, are on their last legs.
Balancing energies is a daily need that must be met for the benefit of all.
Whether it’s for my body with enough exercise, quality food, and sleep for my mind/spirit with a variety of endeavors, or with my time – balance is crucial and will be my number one birthday wish.
Balance sounds like a perfect mid-year Word of the Year.
What’s your birthday wish for yourself?
In health –
Deidre
NOTE: Happy Birthday, Deidre and Serena!! I hope it’s fabulous!
Is anyone else struggling to get enough extra movement into their day?
If the heat index isn’t shooting down walks outdoors that might happen any later than 7 am, it’s poor air quality from the Canadian wildfire smoke drifting over our area – or a million other things.
Geez – finding an excuse NOT to exercise is terribly easy.
Truth be told – I do not like being sedentary. My body gets antsy if I sit for long periods. The reminders to stand and move from my watch are a blessed relief I am now using to ‘tweak’ into expanded benefits.
When that reminder buzzes me out of my writer’s concentration:
I grab the water jug by the computer and take a stroll back and forth in my upstairs loft,
Drinking at least 8 ounces of water enhanced with some Liquid IV –
Followed by a quick minute or two of either planks OR this blast from the past: Graduated Steps.
Going through the archives of videos I have posted here on foodtalk4you, I discovered this old gem about Graduated Steps.
In the video, I explain how to do the exercise using 20 steps for each level, but lately, I am doing just 10 steps for each level because I want to get back to work. With 10 steps each, I do this mini- exercise routine in under 2 minutes – perfect for a quick break from sitting.
FINAL STEP VIDEO
Granted, 10 repetitions are not all that challenging for me, but it does get the blood circulating and helps energize my mind. You can see on the video, 20 repetitions caused my talking to be a little ‘breathy’ toward the end – showing what an excellent exercise it is.
You can tailor Graduated Steps to fit your own fitness goals, time, and abilities. This is tremendous for building and maintaining balance both at the beginning and end of the routine – but always safe if you stay near a counter-top or chair back.
Check out the video of my demonstration and then customize the routine for yourself.
Okay – back I go to finish the last self-editing round for Toolkit for Caregivers, before sending it off to the editors. I am so excited to be taking this flagship double book to the next level to reach even more caregivers with words of hope, wisdom, and confidence-building skills.
Let me know how you are doing with Graduated Steps in the comments!
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