“What do we want?”

“Patience!”

“When do we want it?”

“NOW!”

I, and so many of you, have been patiently – and not-so-patiently – waiting for Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions to make its appearance.

My older, wiser self knows that sometimes delays are for the best. This is one of those times. I regret the false starts, but the version that will be published this summer far outshines its earlier iterations.

When dealing with caregiver emotions, I just had to do my best by making this important book as complete as possible. It was living on that roller coaster of caregiver emotions that was the most challenging part of my journey in trying to give my best to my husband while he was in hospice.

While there is no one story to the caregiving experience, there are many common threads to the unique tapestry of what we experienced. Whether it’s a temporary caregiving situation involving recovery or a long-term one, caregiver’s emotional responses can often be triggered after just a day of caregiving.

Later this month, when I am holding a proof copy of the Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions book, I will be sending out links to people who want to join being in on the excitement of the launch team! Participants will have a behind-the-scenes view of the launch process and can assist in its success by:

Buying a copy of the book at a special limited time discount and leaving a review on Amazon, or

Reading a free PDF of the entire book and leaving a review on Amazon, or

Reading a free 2-page summary and leaving a review on Amazon

Reviews are crucial for the actual launch of the Kindle version (seven weeks later) because advertising and promotional sites want to see lots of reviews, and people searching for books look at reviews before making the decision to buy.

Reviews can be as simple as five stars; but it’s best to also leave an honest review in words. I will give you a couple of ideas on how to painlessly write a very short review using a template.

If our FoodTalk4You readers think they might be interested in supporting the launch of Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions, please leave a comment or email me at Deidre@deidreedwards.com for more information.

Below is a PDF containing a collection of snippets taken directly from the book. I hope you enjoy it!

In health –

Deidre

Listen – It’s a thundering herd of hard-charging RAK!

Stressed out?

On your last nerve?

Depressed?

Your ‘get up and go’ is gone?

What we need is some RAK!

You know … RAK: Rampaging Alpaca Knights
A secret society of armor-clad alpacas who charge into battle wielding pool noodles and spreading chaos — and cuddles — wherever they go.

Well, maybe not. But that sounds really cool!

We’re wrapping up the kindness series with the benefits of kindness on the whole body-mind-spirit – and that includes making a habit of Random Acts of Kindness (RAK).

I love learning the science behind most anything. Like when I share in my next book, Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions, about how naming the emotions we are feeling helps to tame them – all because a different region of the brain is being fired up to find the correct label we want.

So here we go! Here’s an excellent round up of why being nice to others not only helps them, but also helps us!

The science behind the benefits of being kind:

Recipients of kindness can feel loved.

Recipients and givers of kindness can experience a sense of awe when they think about profound acts of love or virtue.

Whether you are a recipient or giver or merely just a witness, you can feel the benefits of an increase in oxytocin. Oxytocin is commonly called the “love hormone” and this helps to lower blood pressure, improve overall heart health, increase self-esteem and optimism.

Kindness can increase the feeling of strength and energy due to helping others.

Kindness can also make one feel calmer.

Less depressed.

Increased feelings of self-worth.

For those that volunteer their time or money for charitable causes, they often have fewer aches and pains.

Kindness is most similar to a medical anti-depressant. Kindness pushes your body to produce serotonin, which is commonly known as the “feel-good” chemical that provides healing and calming feelings.

Kindness decreases pain, by generating endorphins (the brain’s natural painkiller).

Stress, it has been shown that people who are more kind, have 23% less cortisol (the stress hormone) and age slower than the average population.

Anxiety – The University of British Columbia did a study on a group of highly anxious individuals in which they performed at least 6 acts of kindness a week. After one month, there was a significant increase in positive moods, relationship satisfaction, and a decrease in social avoidance in socially anxious individuals.

Depression is reduced, mortality is delayed, and well-being and good fortune are improved when we give of ourselves.

Lowering blood pressure from giving acts of kindness, creates emotional warmth, which releases a hormone known as oxytocin. Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure, and therefore, oxytocin is known as a “cardioprotective” hormone. It protects the heart by lowering blood pressure.

Sources: Cassidy & Shaver, 2008; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007; Keltner & Haidt, 2003; The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, n.d; Stephen Post, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine.

————

Don’t you find this to be true?

I’ve found that when I shift my focus away from myself, even for a moment, doing something kind or helpful for another person — or even an animal — ends up benefiting me almost as much as it does them.

Watch Mark Kelly, below, as he shares how his habit of Random Acts of Kindness spread to his office cohorts. You will adore his Irish accent!

In health and in search of some alpacas with pool noodles –

Deidre

Next week, I’ll be sharing a few sneak peeks from my new book, along with an invitation for anyone interested in helping out with the launch process to get involved.

Our subscribers can count on not being bugged with pop-ups or endless sales emails. When we send you something, it’s the link to our weekly blog – or occasionally – a thank you containing additional useful information. Reach out to me in the comments below or email me at Deidre@deidreedwards.com – your questions and comments are always appreciated!

Amazing!

It’s amazing how going to the emergency department with a loved one in the wee hours of the morning — and staying with them through a three-day hospital stay — can suck every ounce of energy out of me.

We had both become our own version of the walking wounded.

Even with improving outcomes already evident and more on the horizon, we just don’t bounce back — full speed ahead.

Today, back at home for two days, we were continuing to treat ourselves with compassion and low expectations.

Seated in my home office, my immediate goal was simply to clear out four days of emails — nothing more.

When I opened one from a favorite, trusted resource and followed the summaries and links, I found such inspiring content that it sparked the energy to begin creating a new series for you —focused on kindness.

Each of these missives will be brief because there will also be a video to watch or an exercise to follow that will flesh out my message.

That afternoon, there was zero energy in my body, mind, or spirit. Midway through deleting emails, I even looked up and said “Yes!”, which provided a little more forward motion, but – today – I needed something more.

I needed a warm, fuzzy hug to my soul.

What I discovered was just that. I found deep self-compassion, personal peace, healing, and inspired energy!

Here’s what to do: find a quiet space, click on this Loving Kindness Meditation, and experience a total reset in 13 minutes and 25 seconds.

Loving kindness meditation:

Hearing ourselves say the words of this meditation out loud provides another sensory way to absorb its meaning. I know you may want to refer to these words when not following the video, so Sheree has prepared a free printable download for you below.

Once you follow along with the meditation video, I hope you will agree that it can serve as an approach to regular warm, fuzzy hugs for ourselves and others.

In health –

Deidre

Our subscribers can count on not being bugged with pop-ups or endless sales emails. When we send you something, it’s the link to our weekly blog – or occasionally – a thank you containing additional useful information. Reach out to me in the comments below or email me at Deidre@deidreedwards.com – your questions and comments are always appreciated!

It takes a village

Have you noticed the growing trend of planned urban developments in cities? These are neighborhoods intentionally designed so that housing, dining, entertainment, shopping, and even workspaces are all within walking distance.

This approach is becoming increasingly popular because it not only offers convenience for residents, but also helps reduce overcrowding in other parts of the city, by creating new amenities to support these communities.

With the silver tsunami of Baby Boomers hitting retirement age – coupled with the alarming rates of dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease on the rise – the Dutch have created an attractive alternative to standard assisted living facilities using the model of a planned community.

Here in the United States, I am familiar with a special form of assisted living called residential assisted living, which uses regular looking houses you would see in any kind of neighborhood.

My mom was fortunate enough to live in one for several years. Driving by that house, you would never know that six seniors lived there – each one surrounded by their own possessions in their own room – and being cared for by staff 24/7.

The Dutch have taken the residential care concept – and that of planned urban developments – to a whole new level. 

In this plan, all homes have six residents who need assisted living for dementia care. With fewer people and activity, a calmer home-like atmosphere is created.

As a former RN working in long term care facilities, I can remember how difficult it was for our confused patients to negotiate long, sterile corridors, and to take their showers in large, cold, tiled shower rooms, where sounds echoed off the walls – only adding to their agitation, confusion, and fear.

The creators of this dementia village in the Netherlands value their residents as people with goals and aspirations, not just people with a diagnosis of dementia.

Want to go for a walk? The pathways are safe; there is no way to get lost, and the perimeters are secure.

Want to go to a restaurant, a store, or the movies? The staff in each are trained in dementia care and know what to do.

They have created their own care village!

This is such a commonsense approach to a growing concern around the world. Part of the hesitancy of families to use long-term care involves the institutional feel of facilities. A village of homes with safe access to amenities just a walk away, honors the residents and can give comfort to the families.

Maybe some of our FoodTalk4You readers know of people in urban planning and long-term care planning who could study this approach.

In health –

Deidre

That’s our cue to share this post using the options under the MORE button below.

There must be a lot of discontent at the workplace.

The self-publishing group I am using to get Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions launched on Amazon has an author Facebook page we use to celebrate milestones, build launch teams, and ask questions.

Just after I finished reading an advanced copy of a book about escaping the dissatisfaction of a typical job through personal discovery and finding a passion-driven career, I was invited to join the launch team for another book with a similar message, but a different approach.

Feelings of lack of fulfillment at work can become all consuming, creating a sense of drudgery and feeding poor attitudes. I have walked that path; have you?

How does anyone discover their passion and purpose?

Sages have long advised us to, “know thyself,” and, “to thine own self be true,” but many people are so focused on simply staying afloat, they rarely stop to consider whether the work that brings in their paycheck has any real connection to their true calling.

After taking a personality assessment or two …

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, MBTI — Categorizes people into 16 personality types based on preferences like introversion/extroversion, thinking/feeling, etc.

DISC Assessment — Focuses on behavior styles, divided into Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness.

StrengthsFinder, now CliftonStrengths, — Identifies a person’s top talents and strengths.

Values in Action, VIA, Character Strengths Survey — Focuses on positive psychology and identifying a person’s key virtues and strengths.

People who want to hone in on their natural strengths to find a purpose, still need to spend time mindfully evaluating what brings them happiness and why.

‘What’ followed by ‘why’…’why’…’why’

There’s a one-two punch that can help people gain clarity in discovering their unique purpose based on their answers to a ‘what’ question followed by – multiple – ‘why’ questions.

For example:

• What part of your workday was the most fulfilling?
• If someone shadowed you for a day, what would they say you’re great at?
• What do people often come to you for advice about?

It’s fun to do this exercise, because after answering the what question, each subsequent why question seems to peel off another layer until the core value is revealed.

Funny, the inspirational seeds that grew into my first book, Toolkit for Wellness, were born from my answers to the last question above – and to all the ‘whys’ that followed.

If you are searching for clarity – really, about anything – then ask a what question about it and then start teasing away all the fluff through why questions to get at the core thought.

For additional what questions, GO HERE and for more information about starting with what, instead of why, check this out.

What do you do to share this post? Use the options under the MORE button below. Why do it? Because sharing is caring! Why? Because I’m always learning cool stuff on foodtalk4you and my friends need help, too!

In health –

Deidre

My spot.

It beckons to me like sirens calling from the deep seas.

I always gladly yield to its call.

Come. Come outdoors. Come to ponder, to read, and to write. Do some soul work.

Ahhh!

I had just created that perfect spot in my former home. It became a mystic place in the freedom of the outdoors, which allowed equal freedom of my mind and heart.

Do you have such a spot? A place where you long to go that allows your mind to wander where it will, or to focus on deep truths that uplift and inspire you?

For me, such a place requires a table where books and papers can be spread out. Where my drink and food can be close-by.

Moving to my new home necessitated leaving that outdoor table behind, and while we have created lovely outdoor seating and conversation areas, I just hadn’t recreated my own special spot.

Until recently.

Yet unadorned with no potted flowers or decorations nearby, this humble space is beginning to become my spot. For there in the screened porch warmed by the sun, I can once again read, take notes, ponder, and create.

At least until the pollen season gets in full swing, painting everything yellow. Achoo!

Then we all head indoors until we can spray and wash everything before resuming our outdoor life.

Where is your spot? Do you go there often?

In health –

Deidre