Category Archives: This -n- That

Five Golden Rings

Hallmark reverie!

This is a month of tidbits for me.

Taking an inspiration from one resource, Karl Moore’s, The 18 Rules of Happiness, and symbolically throwing it up in the air to see what it latches onto, is my Modis operandi right now.

After amplifying his rule #5 of, “Learning to let go,” in last week’s post, I wanted to touch upon Rule #6, “Do Random Acts of Kindness,” for this week.

Since it’s December, it’s easy to think of Secret Santa names being drawn out of a hat at the office or perhaps in your large family. But that’s assigned giving.

We’re talking about random acts of kindness.

Then, I remembered a recent Hallmark movie in which the main character repurposes five holiday greeting cards. Originally purchased to give to her now ex-boyfriend, she used those cards to send thanks and appreciation to five individuals from her past.

Not totally random, but to the recipients opening the card from someone they hadn’t seen for years seemed random – or unexpected, at least.

Close enough.

So, I’m throwing out a challenge.

Before this month is out, let’s all find five opportunities to do a random act of kindness.

Whether you pay it forward in line at the drive through or send a sincere note of thanks in snail mail to someone you haven’t seen in a long while. Find an opportunity to brighten five people’s lives in an unexpected, or random, way.

We’ll be sending out those five goldens rings referenced in that familiar song, The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Just image those five golden rings – each creating ripples of joy, gratitude, and hope.

What could be better?

In health –

Deidre

PS – you could take this idea to another level by involving your children or grandchildren and getting together to compare notes about giving successes. Could be a great teaching tool. Some of the deepest satisfaction from giving, though, is keeping it one-on-one and not seeking fame for your kindness.

Let Me Introduce Our New Edition!

It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you my newly renovated website, deidreedwards.com!

It’s been a long time coming and I would love for you to take a look around.

In it, you will find information about me, all my books, this blog, podcast appearances, speaking engagements, and contact information.

The book links will take readers directly to Amazon; people can subscribe to foodtalk4you and visit the blog; and all free downloads associated with each book can be accessed.

The new Caregiver Toolkit Bundle makes its debut, offering caregivers additional resources to increase confidence, boost morale, and organize their days. This new bundle includes:

  1. Caregiver Affirmations Audio, to set your mind at ease, increase confidence, and gain a sense of renewed strength in just five minutes a day.

2. In this Moment of Quiet, a downloadable adult coloring book, beautifully aligns with the messages in the affirmation’s audio – providing you with contemplative readings and journaling opportunities to help balance, reflect, and unwind.

3. Customizable templates for the Two Calendar System recommended in this book are designed exclusively for recording patient details and keeping track of your caregiver breaks, along with who is covering for you.

4. Medication record templates for administering multiple, monthly medications and for special times when there are hourly doses.

Please let me know what you think of the new look and feel of deidreedwards.com.

By the way, when you follow the link in my website that leads to the sales page in Amazon for Toolkit for Caregivers, click on the blue lettering in the banner that says, “see all formats and editions.”

The side window that opens will show you two print versions – one priced at $17.99 and another at $24.99. The second one features a full-color interior which provides the best reading experience. I am exploring the possibility of dropping the black and white interior option; but currently, that’s what we have.

FYI, the spiral bound version is my book but has been modified by someone else after purchase to create it.

In health –

Deidre

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Covid Comfort Food

Can we utter, “comfort food” and “healthful,” in the same breath?

Well, not if comfort food means cans of sweetened condensed milk or oceans of gravy on mounds of biscuits.

However, as fall in the northern hemisphere brings on images of pots of soups and – for me – yet another iteration on gluten-free muffin mix – then yes, there are tons of healthful benefits to be had in comfort food.

When I had enough energy to throw some ingredients into a soup pot while recovering from Covid, there were anti-inflammatories and healing elements galore. I ramped up a recipe gleaned from Facebook that reminded me of ones I had used before.

Thanks to my friend, Rox, I had all the ingredients after she picked up my online order from the local grocery store!

Not only did I use the bag of peas, but I threw in a bag of frozen, mixed vegetables as well.

Having some leftover cornbread on hand, I placed a square of it in the center of the bowl and ladled the steaming soup on top.

Even with our diminished sense of taste, this was very yummy.

On to my never-ending quest for the perfect no-hassle, gluten-free muffin mix enhancement.

This could be the ONE!

Using my favorite mix – King Arthur Brand Gluten-Free Muffin Mix – I filled the 1 1/2 cup add-in option to include:

            1 banana – mashed

            1/2 cup ground flax seed

            1 cup gluten-free oatmeal – maybe 1/2 cup more

            Cinnamon and nutmeg to taste

*And my six muffins also contained chopped prunes – yum!

My sweetheart refuses to entertain prunes in any disguise, so his six were without.

These extra ingredients resulted in 12 generous muffins, plus a small 3” x 3” muffin cake.

What a joy it is to simply heat up a moist, fiber-filled muffin for breakfast and some healing soup for lunch or dinner when you need to take it easy, feel comforted, and still know you are getting some healing nutrition on board.

In health –

Deidre

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Hugs – A No No For Now!

As my third experience up close and personal with Covid ends – I’m negative! – there will be no friendly hugs for a while.

We long for that physical expression of love, friendship, and concern – and our mental and physical selves need that influx of the resulting oxytocin. Looking back on those dark days of the global pandemic, we remember how deprived and out of sorts we became from the lack of touch.

Oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the ‘cuddle hormone,’ is vital to our inner balance including:

  • Improved mood: Oxytocin can help you feel happier and more relaxed. 
  • Reduced stress: Hugs can lower cortisol levels, which can help you feel less stressed and improve your sleep. 
  • Improved cardiovascular health: Hugs can lower your blood pressure, heart rate, and improve cardiovascular function. 
  • Reduced inflammation: Oxytocin can help reduce inflammation and improve healing. 
  • Strengthened immune system: Hugs can help strengthen your immune system. 
  • Reduced cravings: Oxytocin can help lessen cravings for drugs, alcohol, and sweets. Remember how we turned to extra drinking and poor eating during Covid isolation? 
  • Improved relationships: Hugs can deepen your relationships. 
  • Reduced depression: Hugs can help decrease depression. 
  • Improved concentration: Hugs can help you concentrate easier. 
  • Improved energy: Hugs can help you feel more energetic. 

We need to have those hugs last for more than six seconds to release oxytocin at maximum levels. 

More than six seconds.

Try it.

I’ve heard some say that a great hug lasts for three breaths.

Ahhhh.

Maybe if I wore a mask?

In health –

Deidre

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Fake Fall to Real Deal

We had what the meteorologists in our area were calling ‘fake fall’ over a week ago. Noticeably cooler in the mornings, with drier air and lower temperatures. Ahhh.

After the serious summer heat earlier in August, we were ready. But only so much.

I did not want to hop from sundresses to fall sweaters the last of August! And forget about all things pumpkin … no, not yet! I’m just not ready for those favorites.

But here we are. It’s the third of September – universities, colleges, and most of the schools are back in session. If you look attentively, there is a slight up-tick in color in the trees and the number of leaves on the ground is growing.

Are you like me? Long removed from attending or working at a school, this still feels like a new beginning. Time to chart my course, at least for the coming months.

Part of me wants a new, sharp number 2 yellow pencil and a stack of college-lined paper!

After watching my son prepare a batch of chimichurri recently, I have become a fan of this versatile condiment which seems to go with everything. The fact that every ingredient is healthy is even better!

A sauce of Argentine origin, chimichurri is excellent on grilled meats – and if you are lucky -enough to have some leftover sauce. It goes on everything, including eggs.

Chimichurri is a simple mixture of garlic, parsley, oregano, red wine vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, and salt/pepper/crushed red pepper. This is the recipe I followed:

Chimichurri

4 cloves garlic minced

2 cups flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped

1/2 cup fresh oregano or 1 Tablespoon dried oregano

1/2 cup red wine vinegar

1 cup extra virgin olive oil

Salt, pepper, crushed red pepper to taste

Prep the ingredients, combine, and let rest for 2-3 hours to meld flavors.

The following is a download for Chimichurri

Honestly, we were happy to just dip crackers and chips into this stuff. When it garnished the slices of grilled flank steak … we were in heaven.

Leave a comment about how you use chimichurri – I’m just looking for an excuse to make some more!

In health –

Deidre

Update:

The caregiver conference last week in Delaware was a rousing success! Attendees were very appreciative, both of my keynote and the afternoon workshop, where we practiced many effective techniques to re-balance and rejuvenate.

Once the videos are edited and available through Easterseals, I will let you know. So many services were featured in the hallways and around the conference room. From facilities, finances, and understanding Medicare/Medicaid to adaptive clothing, feeding utensils, and robotic assistive devices – caregivers do have resources available to them.

If you or someone you know is a caregiver, please let them know their local Easterseals can give them a wealth of information and guidance, no matter what their need.

The Deidreedwards.com website is being wrapped up and tested as I write this. Toolkit for Caregivers third edition is LIVE as a Kindle book, paperback with B&W interior, and the full-color paperback is available, but not directly linked to the others – I am working on getting that detail corrected.

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Heck, Yeah!

We begin with a quote from Positive Psychology:

“Life is too short to spend time on things that don’t fit our values. When considering whether to commit to something, we typically ask ourselves, ‘Do I have enough time for this?‘ or ‘Will I enjoy it?‘ etc. But we should consider a more important question first: Which of my values does this align with?”

We pat ourselves on the back if we succeed in not over-committing our time.  Learning to balance personal energy is essential; but, adding to our plate just because we have time is not enough, is it?

Committing to a new action, without considering if it reflects our values, will ultimately undermine our wellbeing. Feelings of being inauthentic conflict with our sense of being true to ourselves.

Here’s a gentle reminder that by saying, “no way” to options that do not align with our values is an empowering action to take – while remaining on the lookout for something to which our very essence will scream, “Heck yeah, let’s do this!”

Something to which I gave a resounding, “heck yeah,” was choosing to speak at an annual caregiver conference.  

This has been an all-consuming endeavor that has taken four months to bring to fruition – on top of getting my website redesigned, and Toolkit for Caregivers third edition published. (More later about that).

As you read this, tomorrow I will be giving both a keynote, “You’re a Caregiver: Give Yourself a Hand!” and a workshop, “Mindfulness and Relaxation at Your Fingertips.”

Listeners, both in person and online, will experience a validation of their life-changing efforts in caregiving for a loved one, and will walk away with tools to empower themselves to become more resilient by bolstering their self-care and well-being.

There have been many activities to which I have said, “no thanks,” to of late because, not only was there not enough time, but also, they did not align with my personal values – even if they were touted as being a fun, social event.

Okay. Now, to the elephant in the room.

Success has come to the Kindle version of Toolkit for Caregivers and remains on special for $1.99. Thank you to everyone who has shared its availability with others!

There’s a glitch with Amazon, however, concerning both paperback versions. This reversal was totally unexpected, and involves behind the scenes things that I hope can be straightened out this week.

Sigh.

We’re working on it.

So, until you see a book cover on the print version that looks like the Kindle version, they are not the same. Green is good; blue is old.  

The website is inching closer to completion.

Sigh.

This little grasshopper is learning to be patient and to control only the things over which I have control … even if there is a whole lot of sighing around here.

Right now, there’s practice to be done for tomorrow’s presentations.

What are your values? Here’s a blast from the past as Sheree shares a download of a handy values list. Check it out to find your top five or ten personal values to which you may measure your activities to check for alignment.

In health –

Deidre

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Surprise From The Stork!

When you work so hard for something and you are faced with so many delays, and patience is being tried like never before – there are tears of frustration and trembling of anger barely controlled – then that sweet moment comes when you can see a path to success.

With critical elements still hanging in the balance of uncertain completion, I turned to my calendar to see when the next possible date would be to publish my book.

August 20. Today, as you read this, but in the future as I write this – in faith.

My birthday month. A day that is 2+0 which is personally significant. I’m claiming it.

Please join me in welcoming to the world the third edition of Toolkit for Caregivers.

We had anticipated twins – the new edition and the new website – but the stork had something else in mind. Like many babies, their moment of birth is not always as anticipated.

I could not bear another delay in getting this beautiful Third Edition of Toolkit for Caregivers into the hands of those who need it; so, we developed a way to birth the book today while leaving the website in the oven a bit longer.

I would be so grateful for your help in making Toolkit for Caregivers more visible for potential readers on Amazon by increasing its ratings. Please consider getting the Kindle version – on sale for a limited time at $1.99 – and leave a verified purchase review. I know Sheree will have links in this post that will take you to Amazon.

Star reviews are wonderful – adding a brief, honest written review would be stupendous!

You don’t have to read every word right away; I know you are busy. You can scroll through to read a bit here and there, and I am sharing a quick two-page, chapter-by-chapter synopsis below, you can look at to better understand the scope of the book before leaving a review.

There are three versions of this new edition: Kindle, paperback, and paperback with full-color interior. Up at the top of the sales page on Amazon, in blue letters is “See all formats and editions.” (Check beside the star ratings). That link will take you to the full-color option for the paperback, as well as all other options.

Our editor, Sheree, just shared with me how a mutual friend, who just lost her husband, used one of the free downloads, The Business Side of Dying Checklist, to take the natural overwhelming emotions and confusion away as she went about taking care of needed family business. She was lost trying to figure out how to even get started; but, with the help of the checklist, she had finished in a couple of days!

Access for these free materials, as well as the new Caregiver Toolkit Bundle – which will assist caregivers with organization, self-care, and creating balance in their lives – is, therefore, also delayed a bit due to the redesign process of my website.

Fear not! All readers need to do is leave their email contact information on my site and I will let you know the moment the new site and materials are accessible for download.

Please check out my new baby and let me know what you think!

In health and proud as a new parent – yet still awaiting on the other baby –

Deidre

A FREE PREVIEW FOR YOU FROM TOOLKIT FOR CAREGIVERS!

Synopsis by Chapters for Toolkit for Caregivers

by Deidre Edwards, RN

Part 1 – Toolkit for Caregivers, Tips, Skills, and Wisdom to Maximize Your Time Together

Chapter 1 – Physical Environment – guides the reader on how to incorporate the home hospital bed into their house, listing various aspects to consider when placing it: privacy, accessibility, what the patient will be looking at, and more. Insider tips are given for adding layers to the bed for comfort and safety, and for caregiver ease of use.

From hacks using pool noodles to trick out the bed, to unique combinations for barrier cream, to options for urination and bowel movements, all common patient care concerns are covered – all aimed to optimize patient comfort and ease of care for the family caregiver.

Chapter 2 – Infection Control – covers the essentials for preventing the spread of infection. Step-by-step skills in hand washing techniques and wearing and taking off disposable gloves are clearly laid out. Suggestions for additional personal protective equipment are shared.

Chapter 3 – Process for Patient Care – even if the family caregiver has supplemental help, chances are there will be times when personal care will have to be given to the patient. No worries! All the basic skills of patient care are explained step-by-step so anyone can understand. Free downloads are available to print so readers can have the skill at their fingertips. From how to move the patient in the bed, changing sheets while the patient is in the bed, brushing teeth, complete bed bath, nail care, feeding, to how to modify clothing for the bedfast patient – it’s all there, and more.

Chapter 4 – Processes for you, the Caregiver – highlights: the extreme importance of self-care, how to simplify organization of keeping track of both the changing patient conditions and supplemental caregiver coverage through using calendars. Ideas for prioritizing self-care are given.

Chapter 5 – Processes for Home Visits – describes the roles of various health care providers who may visit the home: nurses, aides, social workers, physical and occupational therapists, and chaplains. How the calendar method of tracking the loved one’s changes simplifies these home visits is described.

Chapter 6 – Bring the Party Home – describes how various examples of home activities for the loved one and the family caregiver can contribute to meaningful experiences and help alleviate stress for all.

Chapter 7 – Odds and Ends – covers a variety of common issues: DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) documents, how to handle an approaching major weather event, to “inappropriately twinkling” eyes.

The Caregiver Toolkit Bundle is offered in a link to the author’s website that contains resources for caregiver mindfulness, self-care, audio affirmations, In this Moment of Quiet adult coloring workbook, and customizable templates for calendars, and record keeping templates for medications.

Part 2 – (Bonus Book) Love Lives Here – Toolkit for Caregiver Survival, for Before, During, and After

Chapter 1 – Love Is – a reminder that the mindset for caregiving is based on love, and because of love, there is a natural desire for mutual preparedness.

Chapter 2 – Before There is a Need – emphasizes that the need for preparing for future transitions in life/health/death come to us all. Avoiding taking preparations does not reflect love because those who are left behind, or who must become caregivers, are traumatized by a lack of having a plan in place. Tips on starting The Conversation are shared along with items that should be discussed and understood by all: Advanced Directives, organ donor issues, Legal and Medical Power of Attorney, Last Will and Testament, funeral plans, finances with right of survivorship/beneficiary, location of important papers, and more. Link to free download: Talking Points for The Conversation which expands on this material.

Chapter 3 – During the Caregiving Time – provides additional insights into caregiver self-care needs and solutions for meeting them. The normal emotional responses to caregiving are identified and ways to grapple with the confusing swirl of emotions are shared. Activities for their loved one are described along with ideas for having special one-on-one conversations. Ideas are mapped out for further preparations if their loved one’s condition is terminal.

Chapter 4 – A Time of Transition – things to look for if their loved one is terminal. Approaches to end-of-life issues, why their loved one may be hanging on, and potential needs during transition are shared including the last breath which may be missed by the family.

Chapter 5 – After – prepares readers for their initial response to their loved one’s passing and how to use the love they shared to keep them going.

Chapter 6 – The Business Side of Dying – right when everything hurts the worst and being left to grieve may be desired, the real world presents the newly grieved with business affairs. This chapter walks the reader through where they need to go first and what to do, along with identifying and supporting their first emotions of grief. How to handle thank you notes is discussed. Link to free download: The Business Side of Dying Checklist for the reader to follow and personalize as needed.

Chapter 7 – Grief – while each grief experience is unique, readers are given insider tips on what to expect. They have gone from the anticipatory grief they felt as a caregiver to real end-of-a-life grief. Waves of emotions will come, some expected, and others not expected. Ideas of how to get through the firsts are shared for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Mindsets that will facilitate healing are shared that might assist them on a path of personal self-growth while still embracing and understanding their love and grief.

Chapter 8 – Learning to See the World with a New Focus – Never diminishing the enormity of being left with empty arms, readers are reminded that their living and healing depends upon helping themselves. They can come to understand that “Living our lives today does not dishonor those who no longer live here with us.”

The Silence of Youth Caregivers

Hidden

There is an estimated 5.4 million of them in America alone. You see them every day, yet you do not know who they are or, really, that they even exist to any great degree.

These people are losing their youth, their chance to grow and excel, their chance to form relationships with their peers, and their path to the future is shrouded in the mists of uncertainty and missed opportunities.

They have no voice – at least, until recently.

We at foodtalk4you want to add to the conversation to try and increase awareness – not only of their struggle – but to edify the rest of America and the world that there’s work to be done to help these people.

Who are they that are sacrificing so much in the name of family love?

Children and youth who are primary caregivers for family members.

Whether it springs from multi-generational households extending normal familial love – to loved ones in need or single parent homes struck with adult disability or disease – legions of children and youth are caught up in a process robbing them of the precious years to be a kid.

Can you imagine the fatigue and weight of responsibility experienced as an adult caregiver being shouldered by a fifth or sixth grader trying to gain skills in basic reading, writing, and math concepts?

How about a sleep-deprived and emotionally distracted caregiving teen trying to grasp the basics of Earth Science or Algebra II?

Opportunities for playing outdoors, being in group sports, going to or having parties, being a part of after school activities and sports – all pass these children and youth by.

Opportunities that will never come again.

All because they can’t leave the side of their physically and/or psychologically challenged family members who need these angel caregivers for their survival.

You can click on this link for more information.

There you can scroll through to read short articles, links to features on the Today Show, and more.

The goal is to 1) create awareness, 2) create advocates for change, and 3) to be a part of that change.

You may be living next door to a child/youth caregiver and not know it. Could you help out?

Are you involved in education? Can you be a part of identifying these young caregivers and guiding them to the assistive resources available in your community?

Are you in medicine? Do you know who is the primary caregiver of your patients? Can you assist them in finding help?

As voters, we can ALL start conversations with our representatives to bring the plight of caregiving children and youth to the forefront of policy changes.

Sharing is caring. Use the options under the MORE button below to share this message for those who are able to help.

In health –

Deidre

Namaste

A wonderful thing happened while plowing through accumulated emails at the start of my writing workday.

Chris Kresser’s Friday newsletter held a gem for me that I can’t wait to share with you. Chris is deeply involved in functional medicine, and it’s always a delight to learn from him.

Today, he shared a link to Tara Brach’s guiding her YouTube viewers through a 19-minute meditation that eased me into a higher realm of calm than I had experienced for a long time.

This calmer state is helping me handle the slowdowns and uncertainties I spoke of last week, while still gracefully moving forward with what I can control.

It’s been a long time since I last attended a yoga class that would allow me to extend the deep sense of calm I gained today — all the way through to my very muscles – but following along with her video put an inner calm within reach, right in my home office.

If self-compassion is something you are seeking to bolster, Tara leads another shorter, guided meditation called, The RAIN of Self Compassion that may assist you. 

She concludes that video with a quote from Bapuji, an Indian master who said:

“My beloved child, break your heart no longer. Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart. You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality. The time has come – your time to live, to celebrate, and see the goodness that you are. Let no one, no thing, no idea, or ideal obstruct you. If one comes, even in the name of truth, forgive it for its unknowing. Do not fight – let go and breathe into the goodness that you are.”

It’s short and sweet today in hopes that you will take a few minutes to lift and love yourself by following one or both guided meditations.

As always, if you found today’s post of value to you, share the goodness with others using the options under the MORE button below.

In health –

Deidre

Stop. Look. Go!

Our parents’ simple, sage advice may well be the secret to life!

In his TED Talk, David Steindl-Rast presents the ultimate brief on happiness, and how living gratefully is the key to any circumstance.

With over 9 million views, his less than 15-minute talk represents a paradigm shift that transforms personal happiness – and, ultimately, world peace!

It all started with my quest to learn more about his quote:

“It is not happiness that makes us grateful,

but gratefulness that makes us happy.”

Ever notice how some people carrying the weight of the world can often seem to be the most content, while others who have food, shelter, and good health seem to be burdened and unhappy?

What’s up with that?

Could be gratitude.

It’s a chicken and the egg kind of thing. Which comes first?

Listen to David Steindl-Rast to learn how happiness does not come before gratefulness. It’s the other way around.

The “secret sauce” is in his simple formula of:

Stop

Look

Go

Stop the merry-go-round to be in the present moment. Is that hard to do? Sometimes I instruct myself with an audible, “STOP!”

Then, look around, and be open in your senses – absorb the sight, sound, smell, taste, and feel of the moment and enjoy the good that you can find.

Be open in your heart to the opportunity of that moment for you. Sometimes that opportunity is something difficult, very difficult, but it’s an opportunity for you to grow.

The final step is simply – go.

Take the life opportunity of that present moment and go forth to really do something.

The last five minutes of his message is pivotal for both personal and world happiness, starting with:

“…if you are grateful, you are not fearful, and if you’re not fearful, you are not violent.”

I want to quote his entire summary.

I want to make a poster of it to read and internalize every day.

If you are looking for a positive word, something to start a dialogue, or the path for your next step, take a few minutes to listen to his message.

In health and filled with gratitude –

Deidre

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