Category Archives: This -n- That

Oh, Sweet Day of … Chocolate!

Are you a dream builder? A builder of your own dreams, that is. You certainly can be!

This is a story covered in chocolate. Really, really good chocolate … and one other very special ingredient.

Stories of people who make their dreams come true always fascinate and inspire me. The Shark Tank profiles of individuals who have an idea – a passion – and those who take action draw me in each week. Tales of the “little guy” who perseveres to bring his/her inspiration to market, charge up my own creative batteries and urge me to do more to make my dreams a reality.

Such is the story of Darlene and Gary Kramer, who hail from a northern California town called Lincoln.

Seems the Kramers held previously unbidden desires to become both chocolatiers and entrepreneurs. With Darlene’s background in accounting, and Gary’s in title and escrow sales, one could hardly see a thriving niche chocolate business being formed, but that is exactly what happened!

But that’s the stuff that dreams are made of, right?

Seems Darlene came home one day declaring, “I want to be a chocolatier.” Many of us would have followed that thought with, but …

There are always buts to our dreams. Those internal and external nay-sayers often derail our efforts to reach out beyond our respective comfortable boxes to g-r-o-w.

Darlene, however, took her initial steps in making her dreams come true by beginning the first of many courses to becoming a professional chocolatier. During her training, she needed a final project to prove her skills. She ended up with a creation that combined the best of both worlds: chocolate and coffee!

That original confection has evolved into seven different coffee bar flavors, in addition to fine chocolates, caramels, truffles, toffee, peanut brittle, and more.

The rest, as they say, is history!

Darlene and Gary started a wholesale business out of their home in 2013, but needed a brick-and-mortar location to expand into e-commerce. Now, in their present location in downtown Lincoln, California, since 2015, the couple continue to grow their business the old fashioned way – one phone call and order at a time.

The name? Oh, the name! Well, these amazing bars, that channel only the best chocolate and premium coffee beans one can ever find, is called … wait for it … BLABBERMOUTH CHOCOLATES!

Seems Gary was eager to discuss their fledgling business plan with his brother, (I’m presuming before Darlene was ready to let the confections out of the bag), so Darlene called him a “blabbermouth,” and the name just stuck!

Their divine chocolates will melt in your mouth. No sticking allowed here! Your taste buds will be delighted as the exceptional Belgian chocolate carries the deep, exotic coffee notes along for the splendid ride. The kick of the cumulative effects of the caffeine will make staying awake for your latest project pure pleasure.

Blabbermouth Chocolates – in any form – a daily treat for me!

If you are a trucker rolling along the interstate, a whole bar over the course of the night may do the trick, and keep you safe and alert for hundreds of miles to come. In fact, they have found their greatest success at truck stops, thanks to their earliest customers. Blabbermouth Chocolates can be found in truck stops in Portland, Oregon; Wyoming; Utah; and one of the biggest, the Iowa-80, according to Gary Kramer.

If truck stops aren’t your style, Blabbermouth Chocolates may be found in some Nugget Markets, Safeway Stores, and Whole Foods. You can also buy them directly from their website, BLABBERMOUTH CHOCOLATES. My discovery happened when visiting friends in northern California who personally know Gary and Darlene.

After that first taste, I became a fan for life. Blabbermouth Chocolates website assures me of a constant supply. Their service is speedy, their thank you samples are delish, and I consider it a privilege to share this tasty information with you.

There’s still time before Valentine’s Day to order your loved ones something unique!

As a special offer for our foodtalk4you readers, Gary and Darlene want to give you a 10% discount on your first purchase from Blabbermouth Chocolates! Just use this coupon code, foodtalk, for your first order.

Have I just become a Blabbermouth? LOL!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

In health-

Deidre

2019’s Word of the Year!

WHAT’S IN A WORD?

Trials. Survival. Trials. Survival.

Is it my imagination, or is every year like that? Seems as if 2018 was R-O-U-G-H, but looking back and contemplating its path, one must see that it’s the power of love that really tells the story – not the grief or the hardships.

The power of love is sustaining and powering us through the best and worst of times.

Whether you were holding a loved one’s hand as they crossed over to eternity, or your hand was being held through yet another round of chemo, the love sustained us all. The love of strangers and neighbors saw us through fires, floods, hurricanes, and earthquakes.

So many are yearning for an easier, brighter, less challenging 2019; but, good or bad, I encourage us all to be the “love glue” that keeps things together.

Be that hand that reaches out to others and accept the hand that is extended to you.

Recharge your soul batteries at every turn, and reflect your values and faith by being its hands and feet.

What matters is the love. Those who have lost some or all of their possessions know that, while we mourn the loss of physical memories and treasures, we are acutely aware that that’s not what counts.

Our earthly situations radically change and we turn around to hug those left standing with us.

In one of last year’s January posts in foodtalk4you, I shared with you about finding my “Word of the Year.” Instead of a resolution that would surely drop by the wayside, I sought a word, a thought, an intention that reflected my soul’s urging for 2018.

Did you have a 2018 Word of the Year? As you look back, did it reflect your path?

Mine did. EMBRACE was 2018’s for me. I strove to embrace my circumstances with grace, my inner self with acceptance in the midst of conflicting emotions, others as they ministered to me, my life as it was, and my faith.

This year, my intention is to REACH.  It’s time for me to reach out for growth, for reconnecting with friends, for physical movement, and to reach out for new goals and opportunities, and to see them through to success.

An intention that could color and shape your year’s activities seems much more fruitful than making resolutions that fade. It was amazing how often I thought about my Word of the Year as 2018 evolved and how it gently guided me through life.

You, too, may find that a Word of the Year may assist you to cope, plan, perceive your experiences with greater clarity, and may serve you on a more solid course.

Aside from just setting an intention for 2019, also consider how you are going to flesh out that intention. Maybe you seek to be more calm. How are you going to do that? How is your calm self going to react and participate in your hectic life? How are you going to walk into the room calm? How are you going to create calm around you?

As an exercise, write down your word or intention of the year and brainstorm every possible application you can imagine. How will this intention for 2019 color how you look at yourself, how you look at the world, and how your actions might be different.

Always include applying your intention to yourself. If your intention for 2019 is patience, aside from the obvious desire to display patience to others, consider how you are going to be patient with yourself. How are you going to do this for yourself as well as others?

Food for thought.

Take a few moments to consider your intention or word for the year for 2019.

You might even want to make a simple little sticky note with your word on it. Put it on the inside of the medicine cabinet or on the refrigerator as a gentle reminder. This could even become a family project. Or you can just tuck your word quietly in your heart.

Happy New Year to all. May 2019 be calmer, brighter, kinder – even if we are the only ones who are calm, bright, and kind.

Make every interaction a positive one.

Recipes for some colorful, nutritious dishes will be coming your way in the coming weeks!

Don’t forget to subscribe to foodtalk4you so a reminder can be sent to you as new posts are written for you.

In health-

Deidre

Our Christmas Miracle!

New Bern, NC – I rarely use the term holiday in place of Christmas, but for ALL listeners of our Craven Messiah Chorus’s 36th presentation of Handel’s Messiah, it was truly a miracle for all faiths.

The Messiah being performed at the Centenary Methodist Church in New Bern, NC

When I attended our local ecumenical service of support for our Jewish friends after the senseless massacre at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, I was blessed to sit next to a Jewish couple who attend our local synagogue just around the corner from that night’s Service of Remembrance.

In the course of conversation, they learned that I sang in the annual presentation of Handel’s Messiah; and it turns out, they are regular attenders! What a thrill it is to know our efforts speak to so many faiths!

After suffering the ravages of Hurricane Florence this fall – our town, community, and most of Eastern North Carolina will be in the throes of recovery for months and even years to come. Many are not recovering in place – they have chosen to simply cut bait and move on.

New Bern, NC after Hurricane Florence

City leaders have pushed heaven and earth to pick up, muck out, tear down, rebuild, put on fresh paint, and put the “open for business” signs right next to the “New Bern Strong” messages spray-painted on temporary shop windows. Our city workers have decorated our town like never before for the holidays.

New Bern Strong

There was a brief conversation about even doing the Messiah this year. Many of our chorus members and our musical directors were devastated by the storm. Maybe we just needed to take a year off to lick our wounds?

That conversation lasted about a nanosecond. Our chorus wanted to do its part in the recovery. We were NOT going to skip this year’s production. If anything, our community needed the Messiah message more than ever.

Fast forward through weekly Monday night rehearsals starting in November and going through the crescendo of practice during our unofficial “Messiah Marathon Week,” which sees over ten hours of concentrated singing.

Messiah Conductor Jim Ogle

Jim Ogle, our conductor for all 36 years, returns to our town from Idaho each year because this presentation is that special. He reminds us that the NC Symphony members who accompany us are not looking for another, “Holiday Pops gig.” They, too, return each year because their hearts, souls, and musical selves are moved by the quality of our production and the message it imparts.

These NC Symphony professionals drive to New Bern on Monday in time for our ticketed open rehearsal atarting at 3 pm the day of our evening performance. Messiah goers enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of this special event as Jim Ogle will take time to talk to them between pieces, explaining instrumentation and various musical nuances. His occasional, “do-be-do-be-dos,” give added color to the rehearsal and offer light-hearted moments for the audience and chorus members.

Here’s where the drama starts.

At approximately 12:30 pm on that Monday afternoon, our conductor learned that the NC Symphony members could not even get out of their driveways from the weekend snow and ice storm that had slammed the western and middle part of the state. Most symphony members live in the middle part of the state.

Oh, my. No violins taking us soaring to the heavens. No oboe. No bassoon. No beat. No pitch.

What did we have?

An accomplished symphony conductor.

A chorus more responsive to keeping its beat than ever, thanks to chest-tapping rehearsals converted to hidden knee, heel, or book patting pulses during performance.

A set of amazing soloists ready to drive the Messiah message into the hearts of all listeners.

Beverly Biggs, Harpsicord

A harpsicord and an accomplished player, Beverly Biggs, who was wisely brought into town before the storm hit her home in Durham.

A piano and a very accomplished player, BJ Oglesby, who is also one of our rehearsal directors.

A tympani player, Jack Bircher, with a tympani to play – but whose soul-stirring passages would sound out-of-place without trumpeters adding to the swirling crescendo of sounds.

A packed house of eager listeners who needed the Messiah message – maybe more than ever.

No pressure.

Right …

Our conductor explained the situation to the afternoon audience who seemed willing, curious, and understanding. Clearly, we were flying by the seat of our pants.

Oh, of course. No symphony = no overture.

Bill Ward, tenor soloist, The Messiah, New Bern, NCC

First up, the tenor soloist, Bill Ward, whose amazing solo was only occasionally supported by the harpsicord music and Jim’s “do-be-do-be-dos” that filled-in for crucial violin passages.

These were trying times, and Bill knocked it out of the park. We practically cried as Jim gave Bill a heart-felt hug of appreciation.

The audience loved it. Somehow, while the stirring and floating sounds of the symphony were absent, the words and message were emphasized.

No harm. No foul.

We strive for something near perfection, you see. We never want our musical faux-pas to distract from the miraculous message Handel divinely created in just twenty-four days of inspired genius.

The chorus was directed to stand. Could we stay on pitch? Would there be a train-wreck of botched entrances? Could we concentrate hard enough to remember all we had perfected? Were we going to stay in time as we secretly tapped out subdivided beats?

We were determined to not let Jim, our audience, or ourselves down.
Success! While the pitch may have subtly dipped a time or two because we were basically singing totally accapella, there were no train wrecks or botched entrances.

Our baritone soloist, Mark Walters, added to the open rehearsal’s blessings by turning to face the chorus from time to time. It was a gift we needed.
The other soloists, Jami Rhodes, Nicole Franklin, and Pat Rowlett each added to the mounting miracle of true professionals rising to unexpected circumstances.

But that was just the beginning of miracles.

As we gathered in the church basement for rest and nourishment before the actual performance slated to start at 7:30 pm, we were faced with the reality of having to perform Handel’s Messiah accapella one more time. Next time would be to folks who paid $25 each for the experience.

Our conductor stared off into space, deep in thought. Was that his life flashing in front of his eyes? I’ll never forget his look.

Our other leader’s faces were set with a look of resolution and giving in to less-than-stellar circumstances.

Mark Walters, however, was busy texting. What was our baritone soloist conjuring up?

To the best of my recollection, it looked something like this:

5:30 pm. Texting.

6:00 pm. Texting.

6:30 pm. Texting.

6:45 pm. Waiting for texts back.

Smiles.

Whispers to our conductor.

Our pianist zooms up to the sanctuary to practice.

What has transpired?

A holiday miracle!

Strings pulled. Friends called. Friends of friends shooting texts into the dark of night.

Kimberly Zimmerman

Kimberly Zimmerman grabs some clothes and her cello. She drives to New Bern from Onslow County.

I think the two trumpeters came from Greenville.

Cold turkey; these professionals drove to our performance, sat down a few minutes before the 7:30 pm curtain, and played the music handed them by our conductor.

Got trumpets? That meant the tympani player could join in. Six instruments instead of twenty.

Never have so many been so grateful for so few instruments.

There was just enough support to keep the air filled with sound and to add just enough glorious sparkle to make the 2018 Craven Messiah Chorus’s presentation of George F. Handel’s Messiah an experience that will be treasured for a long time to come.

For our regular readers, was this a holiday miracle or maybe a God wink? See last week’s post!

May each of you experience your own holiday miracle!

Blessing to all during this season of miracles for all faiths.

The Messiah

Until the New Year-

Deidre

God Winks

New Bern, NC – Have you done that DNA thing with a registry that will reveal from what part of the world your ancestors came? So tempting. A great gift idea, too. Haven’t taken that swab plunge yet, but sometimes a very Nordic, “Yah,” periodically comes out of my mouth that I wonder, “where did that come from?”

Anyway, I am in the middle of a “domino drop” of sorts that started out with a random cancelation. You know what I mean: some ‘random’ thing that leads to something else that leads to something else? The dominoes keep tipping over in a beautiful opening of blessings?

This past September, I received a call from my minister of music and senior adults, early on a Friday, that a cancelation had just occurred for the senior adult fall trip leaving for Pennsylvania in two days. Would I like to go? Well, sure! Let me pack my bag!

This trip was going to take me over the first bumps in the road to widowhood: my husband’s birthday and what would have been our 42nd wedding anniversary. Coincidence? We’ll see. Keep reading.

Our tour of the lush and rolling landscape of historic Pennsylvania took our group to Hershey, Lancaster, Gettysburg, Sturgis, and other wonderful places. Every day was packed with good food, splendid vistas, great company, laughter, and new experiences.

One evening, we dined with an Amish family who served traditional Amish fare supplied by a local restaurant and who opened up for an honest and frank question and answer period. As a personal thank you gift, I gave her a signed copy of my book, Toolkit for Wellness, as a gesture of sharing, in kind, a bit of myself.

Flash forward to late November, and what should appear in my mailbox but a book from our lovely Amish hostess. She shared in her inscription that someone had given her a copy of the enclosed book when her husband had died in 2010, but that she waited two years to read it. She said that reading the book, When God Winks at You, changed her life.

She said that I will find my God wink when I least expect it.

This is not an attempt to answer questions wondering why God allows “this or that,” when I also believe in God blessing random coincidences at times.

Let the author’s website speaks for itself:

“Squire Rushnell teaches you how to use the power of “God winks” — divine coincidences — to seize certainty in uncertain times and enrich your career and relationships.

Whether you call it synchronicity or coincidence, it is not an accident that you just picked up When God Winks. In fact, you may have suspected all along that there is more to coincidence than meets the eye. These seemingly random events are actually sign posts that can help you successfully navigate your career, relationships, and interests. By recognizing the God winks our Creator sometimes places in our paths, we can understand—and embrace—the journey God has laid out for us.

As my wink let me pass on this random blessing to you in the form of a book-giving idea for the holidays.

Speaking of book-giving at Christmas – where did that tradition come from? I have always loved giving and getting books for Christmas. Yah?

Yah? Well, seems the Icelanders started it all off. Their word for it is Jolabokaflod, which roughly translated is “Christmas book flood.”

Seems that during WWII, books were one of the most un-rationed items readily available to give as gifts at Christmas. Hence, a strong tradition of book ownership, reading, and Christmas gift preferences.

Whether we are from Iceland, Norway, or where ever, I can recommend not only anything from the God Winks books but also Out of the Maze by the author of Who Moved My Cheese.

While change is one of the few constants in this world, it’s the one we tend to like the least. The older we get, the tighter we cling to the old ways and resist anything new.

So many people in my community are being trust into change post Hurricane Florence. Out with the old, in with the new – maybe a new community altogether. Have you lost or changed jobs? Lost a loved one? There’s plenty of change swirling around us.

Want it or not.

I have to say that the simple wisdom found in this quick read of Out of the Maze has helped me in my own transitions of late. It’s a great book to pull off the shelf at the start of each New Year as we all move forward with our lives and pause to reflect on our progress or to consider if we are ‘stuck’ in a maze.

There you go. I’ve given you two great leads for presents for yourself and for your loved ones.

That’s why I call this Foodtalk4you, because these articles are targeted to be ‘food’ for your mind, body, and spirit.

Don’t forget to subscribe by clicking the subscribe button. You’ll get an email when there’s a new post. That’s it. No hard sales and no sharing of your information.

In health-

Deidre

 

This and That

New Bern, NC – Still enjoying some of the cornucopia of goodness from Thanksgiving? Leftovers may be my favorite part of the holiday, so it seems appropriate to have savored my Cranberry Secret Sauce over some peanut butter on gluten free toast for breakfast today.

Yum!

Check last week’s post to keep that tasty and versatile jewel of redness around for the whole holiday season.

This week foodtalk4you is serving a bit of this and that as well – a cornucopia of seemingly random information that is so appropriate for the season. Let’s dig right in!

GERMS

You’ve probably noticed how the trend has been away from anti-bacterial hand soap.

For those of us who wizened up to the more current wisdom that regular hand soap did a fine job, thank you, we were often at a loss to find regular liquid soaps. Seems that the relentless use of all things anti-bacterial can actually train germs to grow stronger to resist the effects of anti-bacterial germ warfare.

Finally, Bath and Body Works and other purveyors of “soap-ness,” have returned to offering most of their wares in the non-antibacterial form. Excellent!

Having said that, I do like to use a foaming anti-bacterial soap before handling my contact lenses or touching my eyes.

Here’s the thing I just discovered. You DO NOT have to buy foaming soaps! It’s a rip off.

How do I know?

Well, after accidentally buying the regular liquid to refill my foaming squirt-top container, I discovered regular liquid is too thick to go through the apparatus. What to do? I tried diluting the liquid – one-part soap to 2-3 parts water – guess what? Foaming soap! Think of all the water I had been buying all those years.

You’re welcome!

No matter what soap we use, the trick is in proper handwashing technique. Rub, rub, rub those dirty paws thoroughly. Get to all surfaces of the hands, between fingers, and scrape your nails along the palm of the opposite hand to drive the soap bubbles underneath them. The rubbing process with soapy hands should last for 15-20 seconds or two hums of the Happy Birthday song.

Dont forget to include those wrists!

Says Deidre, “Using one soapy hand to wrap around the opposite wrist, twist back and forth several times. Repeat for the other wrist!”

No kidding. If your family is continually passing around the “crud,” truly proper handwashing, coupled with not touching your face, will break that hand-to-mouth/eye/nose circle of germ circulation.

RECOVERING FROM A HYPERVIGILANCE HABIT

Today’s next tidbit is something I’ve successfully employed in my recovery from being in a hypervigilant state for the past two years – even longer, as I endeavored to be “on-the-ready” for my husband’s changing needs.

Just because the need for hypervigilance is no longer there, does not mean our nervous systems magically switch to a normal maintenance mode. Some of my symptoms were manifesting as an irregular heartbeat at bedtime.

My former nighttime caregiver routine was busy and emotionally taxing; sleeping time meant keeping a constant ear out for my husband. No wonder I was showing stress: relaxing at night was contrary to what I was actually doing.

Maybe you, too, are trying to come off of a hypervigilant state. Whether it’s a different living circumstance, a change in jobs, or a change in relationships, converting to a calmer state of mind is not easy. Others may wonder why you may be having a rough time since the “problem” has been eliminated.

You and I know differently.

While I am still very much a work in progress, I would like to share a bit of success that may help you, too. Curing hypervigilance and anxiety requires a multi-faceted approach, often with professional counselors, but this may be a starting point for you.

By the time I had read up to page 62 of Virginia Ritterbusch’s book, Reframe Your Viewpoints, harness stress and anxiety, transform it into peace and confidence, I was writing in the margins with my epiphany.

Following her recommendations to look at today’s circumstances, with a focus suitable for our adult selves TODAY and not from our former traumatic focus of yesterday, I realized the source of my heart palpitations.

I learned to see/recognize my anxiety; to feel what I was feeling; and to substitute an alternate thought for my anxiety.

This is how that went for me – here comes that nightly tension; I’m feeling those strong erratic beats of my heart which causes more anxiety – and instead of the usual tailspin, I applied alternate thinking.

I thanked those feelings/friends for having kept me on alert for so long, but now the need was no longer there. All I needed to do was to relax to go to sleep and get some much-needed rest. Those helpful feelings of hypervigilance can assist me in the future when I need to be vigilant, but not now. Right now, I’ve got this, and I’m going to spend a few minutes of being mindful of my quiet breathing.

Those nightly heart palpitations have vanished. I keep with mindful breathing each night before retiring. Reading the print version of Virginia’s book each night also helps.

Remember to be “off screen” before bed each night; the blue light of electronic screens is detrimental to the production of sleep-inducing hormones. Read something relaxing and helpful from a good old-fashioned printed book. It can be part of your winding-down routine for a good night’s sleep.

FAST CHICKEN SOUP FOR FEELING BETTER

Last, but not least, a quick update on healing chicken soup.

As a vocalist in three choirs over the holidays, keeping the “pipes” working is a big job. While post-hurricane mold spores swirl in the air along with the usual mix of wintertime viruses, many of us are walking a thin line between health and vocal collapse.

I’ve ramped up the usual version of chicken, broth, garlic, and fresh ginger with the addition of some fresh sliced whole lemon and dill as a gently complimentary spice.

I’ve cheated the all-night simmering of chicken bones with large boxes of organic, free range, chicken bone broth.

 

Quick, Healing, Chicken Soup – 2018 version

With just the following ingredients you can have some yummy, healing soup:

2 inches fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced

5 cloves of garlic, smashed and chopped

¼ sweet onion, diced

2 T. olive oil

Several thin slices of whole lemon from the middle of the fruit (about ½ lemon or more)

2 chicken thighs

2 chicken legs

1 large container of chicken bone broth

Salt, pepper, and dill weed to taste

In soup pot, sauté the ginger, garlic, onion in olive oil until fragrant. Add the chicken, bone broth (with some water to rinse container), lemon slices, and seasonings. Simmer until chicken is falling off the bone.

Remove chicken; take meat off the bones. Cut cooked chicken into bite-sized pieces and return to soup pot.

Ladle up a fragrant bowl of healing goodness.

Enjoy!

Until next week-

Deidre

 

 

 

Pumpkin, Turkey, and Tears

New Bern, NC ­- We are in the midst of what are supposed to be some of the happiest times of the year: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year’s Day – to name a few. Maybe a birthday or an anniversary will be added to the mix. Some of us, however, may be caught up in the poignancy of All Saints’ Day Memorials – remembering those who have passed away in the last year – or in Veterans’ Day tributes to those who have given their all for us in battles of war.

Still others are recovering from the storms and insults of life, or people who have left us feeling wreaked and gutted.

Whether it was Hurricane Florence or bitter family disputes that may have resulted in the physical and emotional rugs being jerked out from under us, many of us are just trying to suck in all of our emotions.

Stiff upper lip and all of that.

But is that the right approach?

Wisdom from the old adage about “a good cry will do you good” goes way beyond recognizing that a few moments of catharsis just feels good. There’s actual science behind this!

Here’s a summary of today’s research. Sources are cited at the conclusion of this post.

Tears are produced round-the-clock; in fact, our lacrimal glands produce about 10 ounces of   tears a day and 30 gallons a year. Toddlers probably exceed that.

There are three types of tears:

Basal tears – the protein-rich ones that are produced to provide moisturizing and antimicrobial benefits with each blink.

Reflex tears – the kind that happen as a natural reaction to irritants such as dust, wind, or onions.

Emotional tears – these are the ones we are talking about with crying. Crying is a natural human response to stress.

Turns out, tears have many physiological and psychological benefits from the chemicals they contain:

Tears release toxins from the body – The tears we release when crying actually wash away the chemicals that raise the stress hormone (cortisol) inside of us. Other chemicals found in our emotional tears include the “feel good” hormones, called endorphins, that help to decrease pain.

Chemicals in tears can kill bacteria – The antimicrobial properties in tears are so strong, they can destroy the cell wall of bacteria, and have been shown to help kill anthrax.

Tears improve vision – Who hasn’t noticed their blurry vision improve with the addition of moisture?

Tears improve our moods – Thanks to their hormone rich content – the happy, feel good, and pain-relieving hormones, oxytocin and endorphins, tears have been shown to work better than an antidepressant for self-soothing and mood elevation according to a 2008 study.

Tears relieve stress – Stress activates our Sympathetic Nervous System or our fight-or-flight response. Tears counter that by activating our calming system called the Parasympathetic System. Again, our tears cause the stress hormones and toxins to wash away, thereby reducing tension. As one article pointed out, tears are certainly a healthier option to punching a brick wall and cause no physical injury, no headaches, and do not contribute to higher blood pressures.

Tears can enhance communication – Tears can defuse tense moments and can put an emphasis on the emotional component of a verbal exchange.

So, like so many seemingly exclusively emotional things, tears in crying are the result of a build-up of stress in our body. This stress is not just in our heads, it’s physically in our bodies in the form of real hands-on hormones and toxins.

A good cry helps to physically wash those bad guys from our system and allows for the addition of feel-good and pain-relieving hormones. It’s that simple.

If you aren’t going to be home for Christmas; if your family does not look like a Norman Rockwell painting; if you are going to spend the first holidays without a special someone; chances are, a good cry may come your way.

That’s okay.

Hallmark movies are great opportunities to shed a self-focused tear or two. But my wish for you and myself is to make an extra effort to reach out to others in similar circumstances (or worse) and be a light in the darkness for them. Call others on a whim. Surprise an acquaintance with a small gift or flower, or physically be there for someone in need.

Now, if you find yourself crying all of the time for no apparent reason, or if it’s uncontrollable, you may need more than another box of Kleenex. You may need to see the doctor. Be alert for signs of depression in yourself or others which will also include some, or all, of the following indicators:

  • Trouble concentrating or focusing your thoughts
  • Trouble making even small decisions
  • Extra fatigue or loss of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or helplessness
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Sleeping too much or not enough
  • Once pleasurable activities no longer give you pleasure
  • Over- or under- eating
  • Unexplained aches and pains
  • Anxiety that does not go away
  • Suicidal thoughts or self-harming actions

Depression will not be fixed by a good cry. Depression is not fixed by “pulling up your own boot straps.” If you see yourself in the list above, please make contacting a physician a priority. You do not have to feel like that. There is help!

Enjoy your pumpkin. Enjoy your turkey. And, yes, enjoy the benefits of a good cry. We all need to indulge once in a while!

In health-

Deidre

Medicaldaily.com, Lizette Borreli, May 19, 2015

Psychologytoday.com, Judith Orloff, MD, July 27, 2010

Medicalnewstoday.com, Lena Burgess, October, 7, 2017

New Beginnings

The fall still strikes me as a season of fresh starts. Are you the same? The whole back-to-school atmosphere of late August makes me think of fresh yellow No. 2 pencils and a brand-new box of Crayola’s.

In fact, I do have a new pack of watercolor brush pens. They are so fun to use and allow for better blending of colors, unlike my usual markers. I’ve taken up adult coloring opportunities once more and have even dabbled in some free-hand drawing. It’s a part of my device-free going to bed routine.

After taking 28 days of vacation out of town to reconnect and refresh – my physical and emotional fatigue, grief, and jet lag have taken a toll. Spending 15 minutes with my new watercolor brush pens takes me away from those blue electronic screens, and completely relaxes my mind and body in preparation for a restful night.

If sleep is eluding you, if you just cannot unplug your mind, bring out those crayons, pens, pencils, or brushes to help disconnect and calm yourself for sleep.

Speaking of going on vacation and the start of school, do you remember those composition assignments that are often assigned?

“What I did during summer vacation?”

As regular readers already know, it’s been two or three years since I’ve had any kind of time off. It was pure bliss to reconnect with friends I hadn’t seen for forty years in Sacramento, California. Then I flew to the Big Island of Hawaii where I basked in paradise at my daughter’s home. I hope you have had some type of time away from your normal schedule. It’s so healing to just walk away from it all – even for just a few days.

Deidre and Serena

However, we cannot save our “reset” time for just two weeks each year. There needs to be more stimulating, yet relaxing, time   plugged into our weekly lives – other than another Hallmark movie. Getting together with a few friends to play a board game may be just the trick you need for a mid-week time of de-stressing.

I remember our daughter doing this through college, medical school, and residency. She would have a few friends over and play a board game to socialize and relieve stress. We played board games, cards, and dominoes, with our kids when they were younger; but the habit stopped there for me except for playing Uno with the grandkids.

Well, after several rounds of Rummikub one evening this week, I’m – shall we say – back in the game! I had forgotten how much fun it was to laugh over a game. It was the crowning jewel to the day. If you are trying to expand your social circle, or to reach out to another person, an evening of playing board games is non-threatening and almost guaranteed to be a good laugh.

Along with all this laughter and positive attitude, I am finding a need to reset myself. Other than the obvious changes that come with grief and widowhood, my body is clamoring for some attention. Too many good habits have gone by the wayside as caregiver stress mounted for over two years.

Are you feeling the pains of back-sliding from healthful habits? We’re all in the same boat. For whatever the reason, we need to stop and press reset. This fall season of fresh beginnings seems an ideal time to refocus on personal well-being.

Like the classroom instruction starting up all around us, we would do well to remember how learning happens. Teachers guide young minds to learn one concept at a time. When that concept is mastered through practice and application, the next concept is introduced. Children put all of those concepts together to create a bigger whole. Learn the alphabet and the sounds each letter makes. Put those letters together to form words and then sentences. Eventually, books are read.

What do you want to accomplish for yourself? Lose weight? Cut out soda? Exercise more? Write a book? Start a business? Go back to school?

Remember the children? They didn’t start with Moby Dick, they started with letters. One letter at a time. Even before writing letters, they had to learn how to hold the pencil!

I’m feeling the same way about losing the weight and flab that have crept on these last two years. The reset button has been pushed, folks.

Silver Sneakers Aerobics class attendance has been ramped up from once a week to twice!

Daily one-minute planks have resumed each morning. Confession: my public foodtalk4you Facebook quest to keep up planks during vacation traveling was a dismal failure; but they were replaced by a lot of walking, and even heavy yard work.

Today, I just started keeping a food and exercise journal. Nothing like logging in every bite and sip I take! This creates a lot of personal accountability and has already encouraged me to do an extra round of planks and squats and to drink extra water.

Everything that has been shared about journaling for goals is true. The effect is immediate. The desire to improve is fleshed out in action through this simple accountability tool. Grab a piece of paper and write down your daily progress for a personal goal.

Take things a step further by liking our foodtalk4you Facebook page where you will see the picture of my little journal entry. Please make a comment below that picture to share your goals. Check in periodically with an update as to your progress or share some difficulties. We’re in this together to help and cheer each other on to success!

Time to start putting together my dinner salad consisting of sliced grilled chicken on a bed of mixed greens topped with freshly sautéed green beans and corn kernels,  pear chunks, blueberries, carrots, and blue cheese crumbles. All topped off with a simple balsamic vinaigrette.

Starting over –

Deidre

 

 

 

 

 

The Continuum of Life

I often think of life in terms of a river. In the beginning, we are each a drop of water floating along…sometimes at a lazy trickle over pebbles … sometimes on top of a leaf scurrying along a fast stream …sometimes rushing along in the swift currents of a raging river. We ride alongside other drops in an ever-changing scene. Some drops are carried away from us at a faster pace, but with the ebb and flow of currents we may once again float along with them as neighbors.

We can see various forks in the river up ahead.

Virgil James Edwards

My sweetheart and I had been riding along this beautiful river of life for almost 42 years, and we knew the river would soon split. Soulful, heartfelt, and practical preparations were made as the leaf we were riding on ever-so-gradually began to split in two. The last tender thread that connected us gave way, and Virgil’s portion floated away onto another river branch called Eternity.

Rest in Peace, my Love. We will be together again one day.

Later this summer, I will be busy writing again. There is much to share in Foodtalk4you about life habits, great foods to eat, and exercise tips that will increase our quality of life. Remember, we’re floating along this journey together.

Bone health is a topic foremost on my mind as I will share my efforts to move that bone density scan from osteopenia/osteoarthritis to normal bone density. Hint: There’s a lot more exercise happening and collagen consumption going on.
But first, there is the business side of dying that is on the front burner; then catching up on home projects clamoring for attention, and finally, taking that long overdue REST with my family!

Oh, joy!

This fall, I will also be writing the last chapters of my next book, Toolkit for Caregivers. It is a project I hope to share with others on a grand scale. There will be presentations nationwide for caregivers who need tips, hints, and practical how-to ideas for taking care of someone who is confined to a hospital bed at home. The need for this supportive and encouraging information is great, and I feel “called” to help others walking that path.

So, my dear and patient readers, I’ll be getting back in touch with you at the end of summer and early fall. Until then, I am listening to my body, mind, and soul and am entering into a period not of inactivity but of calm. My transition into flying solo has actually been full of activity but has lacked nature’s touch.

Ocean waves beckon. Stargazing beckons. Quiet forests beckon. I need to heed the call of nature and the deep desire to spend time with family.

Peace-

Deidre

I’m Walkin’ On Sunshine …

Have you ever taken a bath in a forest? I don’t mean skinny dipping in a cold stream, either.

It’s called shinrin-yoku, and is Japanese for “forest bathing” or, just time spent outdoors drenching yourself in the wonderfulness of the natural expanses around you.

I remember special times as a child doing this high up on my perch in a giant tree in Portland, Oregon, gazing at the world above, below, and around me. Then there were times in San Jose, California, as I lay sprawled out on the grass trying to feel the  world turn while watching the clouds above float by.

The happiness, joy, peace, and contentment I felt was more than just being a kid without responsibilities; although that did help, I’m sure. It was a part of a deep primal need to be grounded to the earth and to be connected to nature.

The results we all know and have experienced – but yay – (wink) – they are now confirmed with science! Stress hormones drop, anxiety lessens, and blood pressures normalize when we surround ourselves with nature. Did you need a study to tell you that concrete jungles and office cubicles aren’t healthy?

Me neither.

As a 24/7 caregiver, I miss bathing in nature the most. There’s just not enough time away to do the necessary errands, get some exercise time, and bathe in nature to any great extent.

Last summer, a walk with our adult children in the majestic redwood forests of Northern California was a holy experience. Quietly stepping into the ancient tabernacle of giant redwoods was life-changing! I return to that experience often to relive the awe and wonder of it. Presently, extended slow walks to the mailbox and some time spent on the back porch swing have to satisfy that deep need for now.

Where do you go to bathe in nature?

Here in Eastern North Carolina, many turn to the water. Time in a boat on the river or time sitting on one of our beautiful beaches satisfies many. Time to unplug from the rat race and reconnect to the REAL WORLD of nature.

Still others in our area enjoy year-round golfing opportunities. While designed by man, golf courses do follow the natural terrain and are certainly a place of green-ness. Pun intended. While hitting that little white ball around can often be frustrating, golfers’ experiences can be tempered by the loveliness of the course.

Keep forest bathing tucked in the back of your mind for a minute while I seem to change subjects.

I recently listened to a TED talk about the biggest predictor of longevity. Diet? Exercise? Weight control?

Nope.

All of the usual suspects were way down the list.

Friends? Social connections? Getting warmer…

The best indicator of longevity turned out to be the number of daily face-to-face connections we had. Smiling at people. Striking up brief conversations with strangers. Laughing about the human condition with someone while in line at the bank. Lamenting about the price of tomatoes with a fellow shopper. Little connections. With humans. Face-to-face.

Not all that different from connecting with Mother Nature.

Making connections. It’s vitally important to a well-balanced life. In fact, I have long called such pleasantries with strangers as “making the day.” We need to do more of that.

Having philosophized about connections with man and nature, let me share with you something wonderful that happened recently that sort of ties this all together.

As a member of our local Chamber of Commerce, I always try to schedule an outing from caregiving duties that coincides with our Chamber’s monthly Business-AfterHours event. It’s a time to make connections: renew personal friendships and a chance to start new business connections. There are always door prizes.

Yours truly won one of the main door prizes! I had never heard of a Dash Caddie before, so the young inventor and his wife had to show and demonstrate it to me.

Jeff Duncan was having a problem keeping track of his golf possessions while riding around the course in his golf cart. You know: extra balls, tees, cell phone, pencils all seemed to be at the bottom of his bag. Irritating. Not what a golfer is looking to have more of.

Necessity is the mother of invention, so he invented the Dash Caddie, which is a portable box that can mount into almost any golf cart or suction-cupped onto the dash of an RV or boat with ease.

After two years of the Duncan’s engineering, design changes, and making manufacturing contacts, I won one of the first Dash Caddies to come off of the assembly line! Their website at dashcaddie.com is taking pre-orders, but something tells me those orders will be filled real soon!

This is where the whole post ties together. If you are bathing in the wonders of nature on the golf course, on the waterways, or as you travel the open road, the Dash Caddie will eliminate many of those nagging problems that irritate some of the restorative joy you are seeking.

It just seemed to be a perfect moment to share with you readers:

  1. Our deep primal need to reconnect with nature and why it is good for us
  2. Our need to connect with each other even on a casual basis and how doing so can boost our health.
  3. An opportunity to spread the word on a good thing with no personal gain on my part.

I encourage you to “bathe in nature” more. Ramp-up those casual connections with others in public, and check out Dash Caddie.

With spring upon us, we can all dive into nature every day possible. Regardless of season, there are always ample opportunities to reach out to others during our daily life. If there is a golf cart, RV, or boat in your life or someone you know, a Dash Caddie is the perfect gift for them!

 

In health and “making the day”-

Deidre