Have you noticed that the cure for what ails you is often the last thing you feel like doing?
Doing that thing requires an initial push – using energies you don’t feel like giving.
I was reminded recently of how a still deeply grieving widower friend was having difficulty even participating in occasional Facebook posts. He was too numb, and understandably, missing his wife so deeply.
How I remember feeling like that after my husband died.
While still redefining who and what my purpose was – since I was no longer his caregiver – I was, literally, stepping into a new chapter of my life – yet untitled, save ‘new widow’ – and I found venturing out into the community was the last thing I wanted to do.
Yet, every day, with the enthusiasm of a robot, I did the very thing I didn’t want to do.
Get up. Put my shoes on. Drive somewhere. Get out of the car. Walk.
Dive into the moment. Study the grass, look at the leaves. Notice the people around me. Share the best version of a smile. I could.
Without judgement or analysis, look around to observe the life around me.
At first, the natural tendency was to interject memories of my loved one into the present scene – oh, how I missed him … we used to do this together …
Eventually, my thinking moved to how I was interacting with the present moment.
Those were my bare feet in the dewy grass. The sun was shining on my face. The breeze was blowing my hair. I was surrounded by life, and I had to participate because I was alive!
Similarly, when I’m feeling tired, sometimes the best thing to do is get up and walk around the block.
Sure, the well-timed short nap can revive, but often when working my way back from low energy, the best thing to do for me, is the last thing I want to do.
Move.
By getting the blood flowing stronger throughout the body, muscles have the oxygen they need, and every other organ can be fed to function better.
In medicine, we talk about ‘stasis.’ Stasis is a period of inactivity or stagnation in the normal flow of bodily fluids.
When not flowing properly, blood will clot.
When we don’t stir or move about, our muscles and joints will not move well.
When periods of even needed isolation are protracted, we may lose our way to form or maintain connection.
Just a little reminder – when you are feeling low, sometimes the best thing to do is the last thing you want to do.
Move about and reach out!
In health –
Deidre
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The whole back-to-school atmosphere of late August makes me think of fresh yellow No. 2 pencils and a brand-new box of Crayola’s.
After taking 28 days of vacation out of town to reconnect and refresh – my physical and emotional fatigue, grief, and jet lag have taken a toll. Spending 15 minutes with my new watercolor brush pens takes me away from those blue electronic screens, and completely relaxes my mind and body in preparation for a restful night.
those crayons, pens, pencils, or brushes to help disconnect and calm yourself for sleep.
As regular readers already know, it’s been two or three years since I’ve had any kind of time off. It was pure bliss to reconnect with friends I hadn’t seen for forty years in Sacramento, California. Then I flew to the Big Island of Hawaii where I basked in paradise at my daughter’s home. I hope you have had some type of time away from your normal schedule. It’s so healing to just walk away from it all – even for just a few days.
stopped there for me except for playing Uno with the grandkids.
to reset myself. Other than the obvious changes that come with grief and widowhood, my body is clamoring for some attention. Too many good habits have gone by the wayside as caregiver stress mounted for over two years.
Like the classroom instruction starting up all around us, we would do well to remember how learning happens. Teachers guide young minds to learn one concept at a time. When that concept is mastered through practice and application, the next concept is introduced. Children put all of those concepts together to create a bigger whole. Learn the alphabet and the sounds each letter makes. Put those letters together to form words and then sentences. Eventually, books are read.
my public
Everything that has been shared about journaling for goals is true. The effect is immediate. The desire to improve is fleshed out in action through this simple accountability tool. Grab a piece of paper and write down your daily progress for a personal goal.
periodically with an update as to your progress or share some difficulties. We’re in this together to help and cheer each other on to success!