New Bern, NC - We are in the midst of what are supposed to be 
some of the happiest times of the year: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year’s Day – to name a few. Maybe a birthday or an anniversary will be added to the mix. Some of us, however, may be caught up in the poignancy of All Saints’ Day Memorials – remembering those who have passed away in the last 
year – or in Veterans’ Day tributes to those who have given their all for us in battles of war.
Still others are recovering from the storms and insults of life, or people who have left us feeling wreaked and gutted.
Whether it was Hurricane Florence or bitter family disputes that 
may have resulted in the physical and emotional rugs being jerked out from under us, many of us are just trying to suck in all of our emotions.
Stiff upper lip and all of that.
But is that the right approach?
Wisdom from the old adage about “a good cry will do you good” goes way beyond recognizing that a few moments of catharsis just feels good. There’s actual science behind this!
Here’s a summary of today’s research. Sources are cited at the conclusion of this post.
Tears are produced round-the-clock; in fact, our lacrimal glands 
produce about 10 ounces of tears a day and 30 gallons a year. Toddlers probably exceed that.
There are three types of tears:
Basal tears – the protein-rich ones that are produced to provide moisturizing and antimicrobial benefits with each blink.
Reflex tears – the kind that happen as a natural reaction to irritants 
such as dust, wind, or onions.
Emotional tears – these are the ones we are talking about with crying. Crying is a natural human response to stress.
Turns out, tears have many physiological and psychological benefits from the chemicals they contain:
Tears release toxins from the body – The tears we release when crying actually wash away the chemicals that raise the stress hormone (cortisol) inside of us. Other chemicals found in our emotional tears include the “feel good” hormones, called endorphins, that help to decrease pain.
Chemicals in tears can kill bacteria – The antimicrobial properties in tears are so strong, they can destroy the cell wall of bacteria, and 
have been shown to help kill anthrax.
Tears improve vision – Who hasn’t noticed their blurry vision improve with the addition of moisture?
Tears improve our moods – Thanks to their hormone rich content – the happy, feel good, and pain-relieving hormones, oxytocin and endorphins, tears have been shown to work better than an antidepressant for self-soothing and mood elevation according to a 2008 study.
Tears relieve stress – Stress activates our Sympathetic Nervous System or our fight-or-flight response. Tears counter that by activating our calming system called the Parasympathetic System. Again, our tears cause the stress hormones and toxins to wash away, thereby reducing tension. As one article pointed out, tears are certainly a healthier option to punching a brick wall and cause no physical injury, no headaches, and do not contribute to higher blood pressures.
Tears can enhance communication – Tears can defuse tense 
moments and can put an emphasis on the emotional component of a verbal exchange.
So, like so many seemingly exclusively emotional things, tears in crying are the result of a build-up of stress in our body. This stress is not just in our heads, it’s physically in our bodies in the form of real hands-on hormones and toxins.
A good cry helps to physically wash those bad guys from our system and allows for the addition of feel-good and pain-relieving hormones. It’s that simple.
If you aren’t going to be home for Christmas; if your family does not look like a Norman Rockwell painting; if you are going to spend the first holidays without a special someone; chances are, a good cry may come your way.
That’s okay.
Hallmark movies are great opportunities to shed a self-focused tear or two. But my wish for you and myself is to make an extra effort to reach out to 
others in similar circumstances (or worse) and be a light in the darkness for them. Call others on a whim. Surprise an acquaintance with a small gift or flower, or physically be there for someone in need.
Now, if you find yourself crying all of the time for no apparent reason, or if it’s uncontrollable, you may need more than another 
box of Kleenex. You may need to see the doctor. Be alert for signs of depression in yourself or others which will also include some, or all, of the following indicators:
- Trouble concentrating or focusing your thoughts
- Trouble making even small decisions
- Extra fatigue or loss of energy
- Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or helplessness
- Feeling hopeless
- Sleeping too much or not enough
- Once pleasurable activities no longer give you pleasure
- Over- or under- eating
- Unexplained aches and pains
- Anxiety that does not go away
- Suicidal thoughts or self-harming actions
Depression will not be fixed by a good cry. Depression is not fixed by “pulling up your own boot straps.” If you see yourself in the list above, please make contacting a physician a priority. You do not have to feel like that. There is help!
Enjoy your pumpkin. Enjoy your turkey. And, yes, enjoy the benefits of a good cry. We all need to indulge once in a while!
In health-
Deidre
Medicaldaily.com, Lizette Borreli, May 19, 2015
Psychologytoday.com, Judith Orloff, MD, July 27, 2010
Medicalnewstoday.com, Lena Burgess, October, 7, 2017
The whole back-to-school atmosphere of late August makes me think of fresh yellow No. 2 pencils and a brand-new box of Crayola’s.
After taking 28 days of vacation out of town to reconnect and refresh – my physical and emotional fatigue, grief, and jet lag have taken a toll. Spending 15 minutes with my new watercolor brush pens takes me away from those blue electronic screens, and completely relaxes my mind and body in preparation for a restful night.
those crayons, pens, pencils, or brushes to help disconnect and calm yourself for sleep.
As regular readers already know, it’s been two or three years since I’ve had any kind of time off. It was pure bliss to reconnect with friends I hadn’t seen for forty years in Sacramento, California. Then I flew to the Big Island of Hawaii where I basked in paradise at my daughter’s home. I hope you have had some type of time away from your normal schedule. It’s so healing to just walk away from it all – even for just a few days.
stopped there for me except for playing Uno with the grandkids.
to reset myself. Other than the obvious changes that come with grief and widowhood, my body is clamoring for some attention. Too many good habits have gone by the wayside as caregiver stress mounted for over two years.
Like the classroom instruction starting up all around us, we would do well to remember how learning happens. Teachers guide young minds to learn one concept at a time. When that concept is mastered through practice and application, the next concept is introduced. Children put all of those concepts together to create a bigger whole. Learn the alphabet and the sounds each letter makes. Put those letters together to form words and then sentences. Eventually, books are read.
my public 
Everything that has been shared about journaling for goals is true. The effect is immediate. The desire to improve is fleshed out in action through this simple accountability tool. Grab a piece of paper and write down your daily progress for a personal goal.
periodically with an update as to your progress or share some difficulties. We’re in this together to help and cheer each other on to success!
drop of water floating along…sometimes at a lazy trickle over pebbles … sometimes on top of a leaf scurrying along a fast stream …sometimes rushing along in the swift currents of a raging river. We ride alongside other drops in an ever-
changing scene. Some drops are carried away from us at a faster pace, but with the ebb and flow of currents we may once again float along with them as neighbors.
Bone health is a topic foremost on my mind as I will share my efforts to move that bone density scan from osteopenia/osteoarthritis to normal bone density. Hint: There’s a lot more exercise happening and collagen consumption going on.
This fall, I will also be writing the last chapters of my next book, Toolkit for Caregivers. It is a project I hope to share with others on a grand scale. There will be presentations nationwide for caregivers who need tips, hints, and practical how-to ideas for taking
care of someone who is confined to a hospital bed at home. The need for this supportive and encouraging information is great, and I feel “called” to help others walking that path.
you at the end of summer and early fall. Until then, I am listening to my body, mind, and soul and am entering into a period not of inactivity but of calm. My transition into flying solo has actually been full of activity but has lacked nature’s touch.
Ocean waves beckon. Stargazing beckons. Quiet forests beckon. I need to heed the call of nature and the deep desire to spend time with family.
world turn while watching the clouds above float by.
forests of Northern California was a holy experience. Quietly stepping into the ancient tabernacle of giant redwoods was life-changing! I return to that experience often to relive the awe and wonder of it. Presently, extended slow walks to the mailbox and some time spent on the back porch swing have to satisfy that deep need for now.
boat on the river or time sitting on one of our beautiful beaches satisfies many. Time to unplug from the rat race and reconnect to the REAL WORLD of nature.
The best indicator of longevity turned out to be the number of daily face-to-face connections we had. Smiling at people. Striking up brief conversations with strangers. Laughing about the human condition with someone while in line at the bank. Lamenting about the price of tomatoes with a fellow shopper. Little connections. With humans. Face-to-face.
Yours truly won one of the main door prizes! I had never heard of a Dash Caddie before, so the young inventor and his wife had to show and demonstrate it to me.
Caddie, which is a portable box that can mount into almost any golf cart or suction-cupped onto the dash of an RV or boat with ease.