Category Archives: Stress Reduction

Now That I Think About It …

One thought …

That’s a pun, really. Because that’s what I want to mention today – the power of a single thought.

As the sands of time are running out on my four-week stay in Kona, Hawaii, I have once again, personally, experienced the power of ONE thought within my brain – never uttered – upon another human.

I have seen the power of one emotion within myself, expressed by facial animation – create a reaction on a slumbering individual; then reflected back, in a startled response from across the room.

Smoke and mirrors?

No.

Let me set the stage.

I’ve been blessed with being grandma-on-duty this August to help my daughter transition back to work, part-time, since the birth of her beautiful baby boy. Both grandmas are taking turns in helping these first two months of her return to work, until more permanent care can be arranged.

I’ve shared with you before, how to set yourselves up for a positive start each day, by reading aloud our positive affirmation/identity statement. It works. I know it has transformed my mindset and has created positive outcomes I had only hoped for before. Whenever I neglect doing this, things do not go as smoothly.

Okay. Here’s the thing. Perhaps you have experienced this.

As I hold my totally relaxed and sleeping grandson on my chest, appreciating the sights and sounds of Hawaii from the comfort of the lanai, an area of personal concern over an unresolved issue crosses my mind and I start to ruminate – churning the scenario over and over in my head.

What happens? Instantly, the baby startles and becomes restless.

Not once. But over and over. Different days. Different circumstances. Different concerns.

Even more innocently, holding my sleeping grandson and trying to while away the time by scrolling through my phone – one handed – can often result in his becoming restless.

Or my daughter, holding her peaceful son calmly, whispers some news to me and, from across the room, I respond with a silent startle and facial expression.

What does the baby do? Yup. Full body startle.

There are a couple of takeaways from this.

1 – Thoughts are THINGS. What are we sending out to the world? Missiles? Barbs? Frustrations? Or soft pillows of love, forgiveness, hope, redemption, with a release of irritations along with a blessing?

2 – We need to be fully present. Babies – even sleeping ones – need our full attention. Pouring all the love I can into my grandson is equipping him for life. Foundations are being laid that he’ll never realize how it got there; but as we shower him with these THINGS that our thoughts are, we are helping him far into the future.

And my takeaway from the takeaways? We all are just like babies.

In health –

Deidre

NOTE: First and last pictures are from Kona, Hawaii. Couldn’t resist including both of them for us island lovers! – Sheree

Meet the Author!

Don’t you love it when someone shares a book title with you, thinking you may love it as well? I am much more motivated to get a book based upon personal testimony. And what if you get to meet the author himself to get an inside glimpse of why he wrote it?

That’s what we’ve got today!

Barrett Huang just released a new workbook whose title caught my eye, DBT Workbook For Emotional Eating: Stop Compulsive Overeating and Quit Your Food Addiction with Proven Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills for Men and Women.

This DBT term was new to me. Most of us have heard about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and if you have attended a therapy session, chances are it was based on the precepts of CBT, which focuses on changing problematic thinking. Among other things, this newer therapy, DBT, is best known for its success with eating disorders.

Mission Harbor Behavioral Therapy

After reading the sample, I was sold on purchasing this helpful guide. Our philosophies of starting with how we think about ourselves and how we perceive our circumstances were perfectly aligned. Was I a proponent of DBT without knowing it?

There was something else that lit up memories in my mind as I read about his approach to achieving a healthier lifestyle – it reminded me of Noom.

I used Noom a few years ago as an accountability buddy for losing the weight I had gained as a caregiver – even those who write about health sometimes need a helping hand. Many of my approaches and exercises felt familiar and brought back the sense of calm control I had over my eating through my previous training.

According to this review, Noon Diet Review, Noom does use DBT.

One thing I did not have with Noom, was a workbook. I love having a workbook component to my learning, and Barrett Huang’s latest book checks off all the boxes for building personal skills and mindsets.

He reveals his approach to weight loss and overall health through telling his own story and progresses to the evolution of his successful methods. I could see the familiar patterns with his weight loss struggle, reflected in so many people I know or have met.

So inspired by his workbook, I reached out to Barrett Huang, and he quickly accepted my invitation to share a little bit extra with foodtalk4you readers. He writes:

“I like that Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) focuses on accepting your thoughts, feelings, and actions while also striving to improve them. Many therapies tend to place excessive emphasis on fixing issues rather than taking a step back and accepting things as they are.

DBT can be applied to various aspects beyond just emotional eating, including anxiety, depression, and BPD, to name a few. Emotional eating often serves as a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable emotions.

Some of the skills DBT teaches include:

Mindfulness: This helps you develop greater mindfulness and presence in the moment. You learn to appreciate the things you have and avoid getting caught in a cycle of overthinking.


Distress tolerance: You learn effective ways to cope with uncomfortable emotions and situations without resorting to impulsive behaviors that could be harmful.

Emotion Regulation: This skill focuses on understanding and managing your emotions more effectively. You learn how to label and handle your emotions, identify triggers, and employ coping techniques.

Interpersonal Effectiveness: A significant aspect, this skill helps you enhance your communication and relationship-building abilities. It involves expressing your boundaries, feelings, thoughts and needs to others.


Hence, DBT offers a balanced approach by addressing both acceptance and change, rather than focusing solely on one aspect. Additionally, I find DBT to be highly adaptable and capable of being tailored to various situations. Ultimately, you acquire the tools to become a more resilient and adaptable individual, capable of navigating life’s challenges.

I aimed to create a DBT workbook that is not only easy to follow and implement but also interactive. This workbook is crafted with personal stories and practical worksheets and exercises. Its approach is designed to assist readers in transforming their relationship with food for the better. Drawing from impactful personal anecdotes and incorporating well-established DBT lessons for emotional well-being and stress management, this workbook provides the tools needed to embark on a journey of lasting change.”

If this sounds like something that would help you or someone you know, please check out his book using the links provided. You can discover more about Barrett Huang and his many other books, mostly aimed at helping children and adults using DBT, by going to his website.

In health –

Deidre

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How Deep Are Your Roots?

Recency is the bedrock for remembering – that which is recent, is easiest to remember.

Amit Sood’s uplifting post, Resilient Option, got me to thinking. He used the word ‘recency’ in teaching his lesson aimed at building personal resilience. In his Day 24 insight for Week 4, he reminds listeners that trees don’t grow deep roots during the storm.

We must concentrate on building ourselves up each day – not just when we might need the results.

He cited studies proving that students who employed daily reminders of personal values, reflected honesty in their behaviors better than a group of students who completed an intensive course on integrity a few months ago.

To start a daily habit of building positivity and resilience, he recommended journaling about three core values in our personal and professional lives. Brilliant! This concept ties into my post for June 20, 2023, (<click), in which I introduce the concept of reading a personal intention statement at the start of each day.

This daily practice has been a game changer for me – augmenting every good mindset I give myself. Maybe some of the ideas in my intention statement are not 100% fulfilled, but I BELIEVE them all, and I see how each intention is coming into focus more and more.

Maybe we have not made up with someone over a recent disagreement; but saying, “I seek peace with everyone I am blessed to meet,” is just the message needed to move us toward harmony with other people.

Our mind believes what we tell it!

Perhaps we struggle with eating food that is not healthful, but a daily reminder that, “I am grateful for my life and health. I am learning how to honor my body by eating the kind of food that helps it,” will nudge us toward food that gets us to that goal.

To assist you in either journaling about your core values or in creating that daily reminder through a spoken intention, we are including a handy download of Core Values that can be the springboard for your self-nourishing message.

Download Core Values below:


In health –

Deidre

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A Double Birthday Surprise With Balance!

Whew! Another year going around the sun! Another double birthday when my daughter, who is my birthday twin, and I get to celebrate together again this year! Which means that when you read this, I will have returned to paradise – absorbing the sights and sounds of the rhythm of life in Kona, Hawaii!

We have vowed to not exchange gifts on our birthday – the gift of being together is enough. We will, instead, revel in just being in the same space and being able to celebrate all that has transpired this past year and anticipate the adventures that are lining up for each of us.

Exciting times – and yet, also a time to give pause as I think about birthday wishes. What do I wish for?

BALANCE

I’ve recently been reminded to balance my energies each day by moderating my commitment levels. Consistently participating in creative projects always renews my strength for more physical and mental endeavors. Satisfying the need for creativity – apart from my writing – is essential.

Pausing a few hours over this past weekend to participate in a class to paint a Four Seasons Tree, proved to be delightfully absorbing. The experience was added proof, my advice in the Caregiver Books Series is true: Creative pastimes can wipe all concerns away. Whether it’s five minutes or fifty, finding an activity that takes all our concentration can be a balm to the spirit.

Have you lost some of that balance in your life? It can look different for each of us.

Some people need to balance their dreaming and hoping with action. There’s only one thing that gets a job done, and it’s not thinking about it.

Sure, a wise person always plans their actions; but nothing is accomplished if that first step isn’t taken. What’s the easiest, smallest step you can take right now to make that plan a reality?

Some _____ (fill in the blank with parents, employees, caregivers, etc.) need to balance their commitment to their _____ (fill in the blank with job, activities, loved ones, etc.) with an equally important commitment to themselves. They cannot fulfill their desire to help one another or be there if they, themselves, are on their last legs.

Balancing energies is a daily need that must be met for the benefit of all.

Whether it’s for my body with enough exercise, quality food, and sleep for my mind/spirit with a variety of endeavors, or with my time – balance is crucial and will be my number one birthday wish.

Balance sounds like a perfect mid-year Word of the Year.

What’s your birthday wish for yourself?

In health –

Deidre

NOTE: Happy Birthday, Deidre and Serena!! I hope it’s fabulous!

Let’s Get To Steppin’!

Step Up

Is anyone else struggling to get enough extra movement into their day?

If the heat index isn’t shooting down walks outdoors that might happen any later than 7 am, it’s poor air quality from the Canadian wildfire smoke drifting over our area – or a million other things.

Geez – finding an excuse NOT to exercise is terribly easy.

Truth be told – I do not like being sedentary. My body gets antsy if I sit for long periods. The reminders to stand and move from my watch are a blessed relief I am now using to ‘tweak’ into expanded benefits.

When that reminder buzzes me out of my writer’s concentration:

  • I grab the water jug by the computer and take a stroll back and forth in my upstairs loft,
  • Drinking at least 8 ounces of water enhanced with some Liquid IV –
  • Followed by a quick minute or two of either planks OR this blast from the past: Graduated Steps.

Going through the archives of videos I have posted here on foodtalk4you, I discovered this old gem about Graduated Steps.

In the video, I explain how to do the exercise using 20 steps for each level, but lately, I am doing just 10 steps for each level because I want to get back to work. With 10 steps each, I do this mini- exercise routine in under 2 minutes – perfect for a quick break from sitting.

FINAL STEP VIDEO

Granted, 10 repetitions are not all that challenging for me, but it does get the blood circulating and helps energize my mind. You can see on the video, 20 repetitions caused my talking to be a little ‘breathy’ toward the end – showing what an excellent exercise it is.

You can tailor Graduated Steps to fit your own fitness goals, time, and abilities. This is tremendous for building and maintaining balance both at the beginning and end of the routine – but always safe if you stay near a counter-top or chair back.

Check out the video of my demonstration and then customize the routine for yourself.

Okay – back I go to finish the last self-editing round for Toolkit for Caregivers, before sending it off to the editors. I am so excited to be taking this flagship double book to the next level to reach even more caregivers with words of hope, wisdom, and confidence-building skills.

Let me know how you are doing with Graduated Steps in the comments!

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In health –

Deidre

Battling Our Trials And Achieving Success!

Struggle and Gratitude 

Most everything worth doing or achieving contains struggles. 

As we pause in the USA to remember our nation’s history and its path to independence, all our foodtalk4you readers around the world should take a moment to recognize and honor their own personal struggles, and how they dug deep within themselves to get to the other side of those challenges. 

We have had more than a few challenges this week at our blog site.  

Our editor, Sheree Alderman, is probably shopping for a wig because she might have pulled out all her curly red locks. She had to untangle technical difficulties many layers deep to rebroadcast last week’s post to alert you of an important poster and linkage, showing the signs and symptoms of heart attacks. Please check that post out HERE – it makes so much more sense with the poster. 

Trying to unravel that problem opened a hornet’s nest of other woes – but with perseverance and an undauntable mindset, she finally got the clarification and technical help she needed.  

My heart is full of gratitude for Sheree and for the one person who finally helped her – and us – otherwise, you would not be reading this.  

And a big thank you goes to a long-time reader of foodtalk4you and author, Shaun L. Griffiths, in Poland, who alerted me of the missing link. I’ve reviewed Shaun’s books on foodtalk4you before – do check out his awesome young adult fantasy books HERE.

Sheree is an author as well! Check out her beautiful and inspiring children’s books HERE.

Speaking of books and gratitude – my deepest thanks to each one of you who so generously pre-ordered my future new release, Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions. Your identities are hidden from my eyes, but I am so touched and humbled by your support for this book and its success.  

You also know by now that your pre-order has been canceled. The Emotions book is still going to be published, but the time frame for that new release could not be modified enough, following Amazon’s guidelines, to get the job done in the way I wanted. 

As I mentioned in the 20 June post, the Caregiver Series is going to get the ‘Cadillac treatment’ it deserves through new cover designs, formatting, advertising – the works. I am creating added follow-up support for readers based upon their needs. This all takes time, effort, and perseverance through struggles.  

So, let’s all pause for a moment to reflect on what personal characteristics have helped us move through the challenges of life. How did you power through adversity? How did you find inspiration, the answer to a problem, or that last burst of energy? What priority did you use to do the right thing? How did you find patience? 

Those are great starting points for writing that personal identity and affirmation statement I wrote about on the 20th – have you penned yours, yet? Please let me know if you have and how you use it. 

I am enough. 

I am learning. 

I am changing and growing. 

Become a subscriber to foodtalk4you so you won’t miss our weekly post. Scroll to the bottom of your device or to the top left of your computer screen to fill out the subscription box. We never share your information. 

In health and gratitude –  

Deidre  

Note from Sheree: We’re just real people here behind your computer screen, working hard every week to share our knowledge, experiences – and sometimes, the chaotic and crazy moments of our everyday lives.  

Happy Independence Day – Let freedom ring! S’  

Is Your Heart Attacking You? UPDATE: New Links Included!

Subtle is an adjective used especially to denote a change or distinction, so delicate or precise as to be difficult to analyze or describe. 

With heart attacks, men are usually not subtle. Men more often experience the classic chest pain, shortness of breath, and dizziness. They frequently describe the feeling of, “an elephant sitting on their chests.” 

Women? Not so much.  

Check out the difference in heart attack symptoms between the sexes. 

You can see in everyday life how women’s symptoms could go unrecognized. Just last week I was feeling: 

Tired? Absolutely! Who wouldn’t be after the fun-filled week I had been having with extra activities outdoors – (closed those exercise rings, buddy!), cooking extra yummy food for gatherings, visiting with family, Graduation party, Father’s Day cook out, and writing for my books. 

Indigestion? I might get heartburn once every week – especially with spicy foods. Nothing unusual. 

Extreme fatigue? I had said to our company I was exhausted before retiring that night – especially when I just learned we’d be getting up extra early to take them to the airport, and we were slated to keep going on down the road to visit more family. 

Stress on board? Oh yes, especially since I had just learned I would not be able to push the publication date of my Caregiver Emotions book to any day later than September 1st.  

But climbing into bed did not generate that ahhh feeling. Nope. That area of … pain? … just under my left shoulder blade would not go away. 

Hmmm. Had I pulled a muscle? Not that I could recall. Those baking dishes had been heavy … 

No other symptoms. Things didn’t get worse, and I was able to finally get comfortable and sleep a couple hours later to awaken pain free in the morning. 

Hmmm. That had been a new place for me to feel heart-related discomfort. I was still pretty tired and now I was torn about what to do. 

Can you sense the indecision in evaluating all of these subtleties?  

There’s one hard and fast rule I always taught my students and have always tried to follow for myself: 

PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE HAVING HEART ISSUES DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS. 

Do not listen to a possible heart attack victim about not going to the hospital – they really do not have the ability – or medical degree or diagnostic equipment – to make that choice.  

If others say you should get checked out, then get checked out. 

So, my schedule that morning got changed, and I got checked out. 

EKG was good. Blood work was done to verify there were no bad markers and no blood clots. Chest x-ray was normal.  

No heart attack.  

Would I go to the ER again? 

Absolutely! 

I also will manage my personal commitments better. The Emotions book will be published just fine a little earlier than I had hoped. It’s all good. 

So, bottom line – learn the subtleties of heart attack symptoms and don’t hesitate to get checked out. The best treatment is prevention, and an excellent summary can be found here: HEART ATTACK PREVENTION.

Share this post with someone you love using the options under the MORE button below. 

In health – 

Deidre  

I Did A Thing

There’s a new mindset in town.

In my town.

Where I live.

Inside my brain.

Yup.

I’ve switched from dabbling, dreaming, and hoping to full-on commitment. The thought process that kept me in a hobby, pastime, or side hustle has been jettisoned.

The message of health that is possible for everyone, and the caregiver support tools that have been gifted to me through hard-earned, insight-giving life experiences, are what drive me.

If people can’t access my books and presentations, then my efforts are in vain.

Therefore, I am taking my authorship and speaking events to a full-time business level.

Yes, I recently relaunched my moderately successful, Toolkit for Caregivers, and have put, Toolkit for Caregiver Emotions, on pre-order status on Amazon; but, I am now aiming for something even better that will get the expertise I offer into many more knowledge-seeking hands.

There will be a new look, feel, and additional tools of support for readers with more helpful follow-up. Professional landing page, podcasts, social media – the whole package.

Details of what this will look like will be shared in coming posts; but what I am learning in this process, is transformative. With over 30 hours of training to help me in this process thus far, my head is exploding with information.

Whatever the project, starting with boosting the mindset, is key – and that is the segue into today’s message for you!

Seems that I write about a positive mental attitude all the time but – hold on. Even tweaking what I already knew and believed, has helped me so much that I must share.

Remember the movie, “The Help”? What a beautiful message of hope and self-worth! Consider the following quotes from the main character played by Viola Davis:

“… and that’s when I get to wondering, what would happen if I told her she something good, ever day?

Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?

That’s the way prayer do. It’s like electricity, it keeps things going.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

When I viewed this movie in the theater, we almost joined in the chant: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” – because we knew that the little girl desperately needed to hear that message deep down inside her heart and soul.

The little girl eventually declared to Viola’s character, “Aibee, you’re my real mama.” Why? Because she was being nurtured, loved, and accepted by her.

When each of us starts the day, we need to nurture ourselves.

I’ve learned that by creating a personal identity and affirmation statement and reading it aloud to ourselves each day, we can transform the path we take and the results we can achieve.

Here’s how some people create their identity/affirmation statement:

Possibly start with your name and research its meaning. The speaker who taught me this was named Aaron – meaning mountain of strength, exalted, and strong. Wow! His approach didn’t work for me because “Deidre/Deirdre,” died of unrequited love. Geez.

Embrace your positive qualities and how you currently, or strive to,reveal those characteristics.

What are your positive beliefs and how are they being expressed in your life?

Declare who you are. Think about the quote from Viola to the little girl.

Tenderly and superlatively remind yourself of all the good that is in you, how you want to move forward, and include how, “You’ve got this.”

Pen on paper. Edited as I put the ramblings into the computer. Printed out. Put into a protective sleeve. Read aloud every morning to myself.

Better than a double shot of espresso.

Take a picture of yourself holding your statement.

This is powerful stuff.

In health –

Deidre

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Thoughts, Memories, and Eats

What the camera never saw –

Do you take pictures of your food at restaurants?

I’ve tried to stop doing that all together, except to share pictures with family based on some special aspect significant or meaningful to us.

Sometimes, there’s such a wow factor to a meal’s presentation, a picture seems appropriate to remember that special moment.

When my arms were not full of my beautiful new grandson – okay, gorgeous – I had been helping in the kitchen whenever possible during our recent trip to Hawaii.

I try to stay camera-ready at home during food preparation – what’s that term? “Mise en place” – in anticipation of sharing recipes with you, but not so much this past month.

Great recipes.

Great meals.

New ideas.

Old favorites.

No pictures.

No worries. Sheree will scour the internet for pictures, I am sure, that will help with visualization. (Sheree: Of course! And I’m late today. Forgive me!)

Still open on my phone are several recipes we have used recently that may inspire you as well.

When we were seeking comfort food, my daughter requested the, “meatloaf of her youth.” It was not hard to Google: Ann Lander’s Meatloaf, which I have tweaked to eliminate the Accent seasoning and the bacon on top. Here’s your downloadable recipe right here:


My sweetheart inspired a quest to buy some Tapenade while we were perusing the grocery stores, but – alas – none could be found. Not to be outdone, we acquired the necessary ingredients to make our own, which we have done twice. Once using knives and cutting boards in tandem, and once using a food processor.

Here’s how we did it:


The Moroccan Roasted Chicken using ‘preserved lemon’ will have to wait for another post – there’s much to tell and share with you about creating a sauce out of paper thin sliced onions, a tasty marinade rub, and slow roasting magic.

Returning home will herald a new commitment to focused planning, writing, and learning as I am entering a new phase of creating a more professional polish for and launch/relaunch of my Caregiver Book Series.

New books and supplemental materials that complement current publications are on the drawing board to help serve the needs of those who purchase my books.

There will be much to share that’s applicable to all foodtalk4you readers in daily life (how to rock a 90-day plan), and for current and aspiring authors looking for direction.

Sharing this post is easy – just use the options under the MORE button below.

In health –

Deidre

Flora From A Walk

Wrapping up our extended stay here in Kona, Hawaii, we continue to marvel at the sights and sounds of the area.

We will sorely miss the sounds featured in last week’s post, when we return home on the mainland, along with the daily eye candy of flowers seemingly constantly in bloom.

The main reason for visiting here is family – gathering around a beautiful new life and marveling at the daily changes – so, we are not going on long-walking or hiking treks about the area.

Strangely enough, however, the motivation of closing those circles on our Apple watches for standing, exercise, and movement have given us reason to walk back and forth on the long, slopping driveway where we are staying.

Back and forth. Down the hill and up the hill.

Boring?

Hardly.

It’s hard to keep our pace on these walking exercise laps because we want to stop every few steps to admire yet another stunning flower. Even what must be weeds, appear glorious and dignified in their splendors.

Cascades of berry-like structures on the fishtail palm, morph in their curious appearance as different clusters mature – we are advised not to eat these, despite their cranberry-ish appeal.

Hibiscuses thrive here and inspire me to try growing one back home to enjoy, even if only for the summer.

Cinnamon gardenias delight our senses with their long, drooping petals and soft scent as we pass.

Who among us is not in love with Bird of Paradise?

Plumeria – the flower of choice for ladies’ hair – are everywhere and in assorted colors and scents.

Rosemary bushes not only provide visual appeal in their texture, but taste in our cooking; and, in Hawaii at least – a significant source of beautiful flowers.

Exotic fruits growing high up in the trees.

Tiny flowers almost hidden in the base of large red and green leaves.

Not on our daily walk, but there’s a giant flowering cactus at my daughter’s home – it blooms only at night!

We feel like kids in a candy store!

Upon our return home, I’ll be heading to the nurseries to see what I can plant to create a little bit of paradise – North Carolina style.

We love hearing from you! What are you planting to create your own garden oasis?

Aloha!

In health –

Deidre